Birthday Card
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Little Canada, MN
Posts: 1
Birthday Card
Living with a "recovering" alcoholic who is constantly relapsing. Been together 18+ years. Her birthday is approaching. I am fretting giving her a card for her birthday as I am very frustrated by her behavior. Looking for some advice on what to write in the card or if I should give her a card.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 447
You are currently living with or choosing to be "involved" with this person....correct?
If YES.
Most definitely get her a card.
She is fighting for her life and just because she is struggling with alcohol doesn't negate it is a special day.
Beyond that reason....you cannot withhold or punnish someone else when you are not shackled and being held against your will. You have chosen to see this through so it's not right to make her feel bad or try to ...because of the choices you've made.
If NO.
Then no. You don't owe this person a thing. If your trying to break it off then sending a card can open the door when you've worked so hard to close it.
If YES.
Most definitely get her a card.
She is fighting for her life and just because she is struggling with alcohol doesn't negate it is a special day.
Beyond that reason....you cannot withhold or punnish someone else when you are not shackled and being held against your will. You have chosen to see this through so it's not right to make her feel bad or try to ...because of the choices you've made.
If NO.
Then no. You don't owe this person a thing. If your trying to break it off then sending a card can open the door when you've worked so hard to close it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 52
My Mum is an alcoholic, she is 'recovering' yet constantly relapsing as well, and it's her birthday on the 16th. I will get her a card and write in it how much I love her, because I do, I love my Mum, I just hate the alcoholism.
Fingers crossed she will be sober on her birthday, if she isn't maybe the love in the card might help her get back on track, it might not, but at least I won't feel guilty about not giving her a card.
Remember it's the disease that we hate, not the person x
Fingers crossed she will be sober on her birthday, if she isn't maybe the love in the card might help her get back on track, it might not, but at least I won't feel guilty about not giving her a card.
Remember it's the disease that we hate, not the person x
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 447
Originally Posted by Chimmy 
My Mum is an alcoholic, she is 'recovering' yet constantly relapsing as well, and it's her birthday on the 16th. I will get her a card and write in it how much I love her, because I do, I love my Mum, I just hate the alcoholism.
Fingers crossed she will be sober on her birthday, if she isn't maybe the love in the card might help her get back on track, it might not, but at least I won't feel guilty about not giving her a card.
Remember it's the disease that we hate, not the person x
Fingers crossed she will be sober on her birthday, if she isn't maybe the love in the card might help her get back on track, it might not, but at least I won't feel guilty about not giving her a card.
Remember it's the disease that we hate, not the person x
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