alaskasunshine

'I cannot make you wait any longer, it isn't fair.'I read this in a post here on SR earlier and it really fit my situation. I have been with my b/f for 5 years and still struggle with my drinking. So I sent it to my b/f. His reply "so what am i suppose to do?"

So my question to you all is what should he do? We live together, he cant and i cant really afford places on our own. We love each other. My drinking pattern is 3weeks sober, 2 days drinking, and this has been going on for a few years now. Sometimes the drinking leads to destructive behaviour, such as me destroying his laptop. (because I was jelous of the women he chats with)
I know this is NOT fair to make him wait. But, I do know I will kick this. I know it. But it is the most difficult thing I have ever done. I struggle. I cry. I go to meetings, I have a sponser, I see a therapist weekly. I go to church and attend 3 different bible studies per week. And I still can only maintain 2 or 3 weeks of sobriety.
So when I saw those words "'I cannot make you wait any longer, it isn't fair." it really hit home.
So what SHOULD he do?

Freedom1990

My concern isn't for him, but for you and your seeming inability to maintain long-term sobriety.

What are you going to do about you?

dollydo

What should he do? I have no clue, all I know is that until you embrace a strong recovery program nothing will change for you. If you really want recovery you will seek the venue to accomplish this goal. White knuckling doesn't work for most.

If he wants out, he will make this decision on his own, he will know what is right for him.

Focus on you, do the right thing so that you can get the monkey off your back and get healthy.....for life.

Tuffgirl

"What should he do" is his decision to make. Let him be a grown man and make his own decisions, please. If there is one major complaint I have had with my A, its the ability to determine what I want and make a decision for me.

Secondly, go fix you. You can do it. It will be the hardest thing you've ever done, but the best thing for you (and for him). Love yourself enough to fix yourself, then love the heck out of your man.

blwninthewind

The fact you know your own pattern is telling.

What your doing isn't working...so it's time to do something different...

I won't say what you should or shouldn't but know that your releasing your bf is just crazy...the thing is...you have no right to say diddly squat. He is choosing to stay.

If you want to go. GO! but don't try to push him out the door and then cry about it.

I'm sorry if I come off as harsh but your destroying your own life, your crashing and burning and you need more help than your obviously getting so taking the focus OFF your drinking and on to your relationship is nothing more than a deversion tactic.

Work on the REAL problem. You want to live a sober life? then find the program that will help you achieve that...work your steps....call your sponser...go to rehab....do whatever it takes.

You can't do this on your own. Your trying and it isn't working. It's time to stop using your bf as a caretaker and step up and own your problem.

good luck to you and wish you well.