October 4 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,360
October 4 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON
October 4 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Heard at an Al-Anon meeting:
“I have only one person’s guilt to carry; my own. If the alcoholic blames me for his difficulties, I will not accept that blame, but I will not defend myself, either, for that would only start a fruitless battle. I know he blames me because of his painful need to unload some of his remorse on somebody else. This should generate only compassion in me – not resentment or anger.”
Another member responds: “I wish I could believe that! When my husband gets through telling me off, I feel as though the devil were sitting on my back with a fifty pound lead weight in each pocket!”
TODAY’S REMINDER
There is no need for me to accept blame for another person’s irrational actions. I will deal with my own shortcomings. If I do this honestly – following the Fourth to Tenth Steps – the change in me will be reflected in every person whose life touches mine.
“Let me weigh my misdeeds on an honest scale and make restitution as well as I can. But let not the scale be unbalanced by the weight of what others have done.”
Heard at an Al-Anon meeting:
“I have only one person’s guilt to carry; my own. If the alcoholic blames me for his difficulties, I will not accept that blame, but I will not defend myself, either, for that would only start a fruitless battle. I know he blames me because of his painful need to unload some of his remorse on somebody else. This should generate only compassion in me – not resentment or anger.”
Another member responds: “I wish I could believe that! When my husband gets through telling me off, I feel as though the devil were sitting on my back with a fifty pound lead weight in each pocket!”
TODAY’S REMINDER
There is no need for me to accept blame for another person’s irrational actions. I will deal with my own shortcomings. If I do this honestly – following the Fourth to Tenth Steps – the change in me will be reflected in every person whose life touches mine.
“Let me weigh my misdeeds on an honest scale and make restitution as well as I can. But let not the scale be unbalanced by the weight of what others have done.”
I learn so much from typing them...
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
This one hit me like a ton of bricks the day I read it!!! I happened to read it a few hours after my STBXAH unloaded a ton of crap/guilt/blame/shame on me. I was sitting there - letting his CRAP weigh me down - then I read this and *wow* the light went on! I felt sad for his disease, but better knowing that it wasn't about me. It wasn't my fault like he wanted me to believe.
Thank you for posting this Meredith!!!
Thank you for posting this Meredith!!!
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