Newcomer, Trying to stay positive!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Nassau County, NY
Posts: 14
Newcomer, Trying to stay positive!
Hello everyone, I'd like to start off by telling everyone that my name is Kevin, I'm 23 years old, and I want to get better.
My DOC is Oxycodone 30mg IR taken nasally, rarely taken as a pill.
Where to start I guess? How about the beginning.
12 years old, I smoked marijuanna for the first time,
I smoked up until I was 19(Almost 20), When I got a DUI for driving on Mushrooms.
(I took them, and figured I would be able to drive my new friend from work home before they kicked in, I didn't know it was a 30min trip each way+mcdonalds)
I got pulled over on the way back, thankfully no one was injured, the court dropped the case to a violation, I lost my license until I was 21 and was put in a group which my lawyer arranged, it was strange, paid cash, was done in a month, met with the dr for 15 minutes, not even 1 drug test(But I stopped anyways!) Shortly afterward, at 21.5 I got a ticket for a 1/2oz of cannabis, didn't phase me, just a ticket!
at 22, I got my second DUI, this was for smoking pot in a parked car, wrong place wrong time, Actually got ran up on by an officer with a tracking dog looking for a group of gas station robbers!(Still don't have my license)
This was the worst part of my life, until now. During that week, I got arrested, I lost my job, got kicked out of my house, my grandmother died, found out my girlfriend was cheating on me, and also found out my mother was cheating on my father, which led to their very immediate divorce(after I told my dad what I found out).
I fell into a deep spiral of depression and began drinking, and using cocaine, then my cocaine dealer introduced me to IV'ing cocaine, which I did for about 6 months, everyday, 1/8oz a day or more and would use heroin or OC to come down(which I would rarely IV).
I then got arrested with one Xanax pill, towards the end of this spell
Then the DUI (which was in litigation) caught up with me and I was put on probation. Aswell as the Xanax charge which put me in treatment court.
At first, during treatment, I only drank, when I didn't have a TOX the next day, as I did better my treatment became less often, and thats when I realized I could do OC for half the week, and then get clean the second half of the week, as I would only have to Tox once a week.
During this time, I got hit by a car, by my best friend. :-( (fight over a girl, how dumb, in hindsight![20/20]) and tore my Medial Collateral Ligament(MCL).
After I came out of treatment, I continued to use Oxycodone, and someone who isn't me began selling them to support my habit, alongside my new best friend who was the biggest dealer in town.(Coincidence? I think not). As all of my old friends basically turned away.(Actually, in hindsight, I turned away from them, due to embarrassment).
In the beginning, it started with 1 30mg every couple days, which rapidly ascended to averaging 12x30mg a day, which I stayed at for a month or two, as it stopped getting me high, and if I did more, I would just get tired.
Anyways, In the last month, I lost my girlfriend, my best friends(true friends), my family, I got kicked out of my house. I didn't have a job so no harm no foul there, I guess.
My last use was on Thursday night, at 8:15PM. Which puts me at 105 hours since last use.
On friday around 5 PM I took 8mg of Suboxone, and then 4mg more an hour and a half later.(12mg)
Saturday around 2PM I took 8Mg of Suboxone.
Sunday around noon, I took 6mg
Monday around 10am, I took 4.5mg
And finally, today, at 4AM I took 3.5mg.
In these last 105 hours, I have had several of my friends reach out, like I never knew anyone could. I moved back into my house, my mother is helping me stay positive, and my x-girlfriend and I are giving it another go, taking things slowly. I find it amazing how my quality of life has sky-rocket'd in the last 4 days, even though I'm not feeling great, although I do feel as if Suboxone is a godsend, I know it's evils are very real, and that's why I am taking a rapid approach to getting off of it. I'm also planning to attend an NA meeting tonight at 8PM.
Somehow, I managed to SAVE UP a lot of money, and now can afford to buy a car, and afford a two year college, so I'm feeling VERY positive right now, I just hope I can stay that way. I'm almost 24, I feel it's time to start life.
I came here for support, google referred me, after my question about the length of withdrawal was typed in, I read a few posts on here, and I'm amazed at the morale that everyone seems to have, and I would appreciate any help staying positive, because this is NOT easy. Also, if anyone with experience reads this, I would like opinions on my using suboxone, and what I can expect for how long once I do get off of it(hopefully in the next 3 days!)
P.s. Perhaps this post may be TMI for some, but it feels good to get it off of my chest, as I rarely talk with anyone about my past, it's shameful.
My DOC is Oxycodone 30mg IR taken nasally, rarely taken as a pill.
Where to start I guess? How about the beginning.
12 years old, I smoked marijuanna for the first time,
I smoked up until I was 19(Almost 20), When I got a DUI for driving on Mushrooms.
(I took them, and figured I would be able to drive my new friend from work home before they kicked in, I didn't know it was a 30min trip each way+mcdonalds)
I got pulled over on the way back, thankfully no one was injured, the court dropped the case to a violation, I lost my license until I was 21 and was put in a group which my lawyer arranged, it was strange, paid cash, was done in a month, met with the dr for 15 minutes, not even 1 drug test(But I stopped anyways!) Shortly afterward, at 21.5 I got a ticket for a 1/2oz of cannabis, didn't phase me, just a ticket!
at 22, I got my second DUI, this was for smoking pot in a parked car, wrong place wrong time, Actually got ran up on by an officer with a tracking dog looking for a group of gas station robbers!(Still don't have my license)
This was the worst part of my life, until now. During that week, I got arrested, I lost my job, got kicked out of my house, my grandmother died, found out my girlfriend was cheating on me, and also found out my mother was cheating on my father, which led to their very immediate divorce(after I told my dad what I found out).
I fell into a deep spiral of depression and began drinking, and using cocaine, then my cocaine dealer introduced me to IV'ing cocaine, which I did for about 6 months, everyday, 1/8oz a day or more and would use heroin or OC to come down(which I would rarely IV).
I then got arrested with one Xanax pill, towards the end of this spell
Then the DUI (which was in litigation) caught up with me and I was put on probation. Aswell as the Xanax charge which put me in treatment court.
At first, during treatment, I only drank, when I didn't have a TOX the next day, as I did better my treatment became less often, and thats when I realized I could do OC for half the week, and then get clean the second half of the week, as I would only have to Tox once a week.
During this time, I got hit by a car, by my best friend. :-( (fight over a girl, how dumb, in hindsight![20/20]) and tore my Medial Collateral Ligament(MCL).
After I came out of treatment, I continued to use Oxycodone, and someone who isn't me began selling them to support my habit, alongside my new best friend who was the biggest dealer in town.(Coincidence? I think not). As all of my old friends basically turned away.(Actually, in hindsight, I turned away from them, due to embarrassment).
In the beginning, it started with 1 30mg every couple days, which rapidly ascended to averaging 12x30mg a day, which I stayed at for a month or two, as it stopped getting me high, and if I did more, I would just get tired.
Anyways, In the last month, I lost my girlfriend, my best friends(true friends), my family, I got kicked out of my house. I didn't have a job so no harm no foul there, I guess.
My last use was on Thursday night, at 8:15PM. Which puts me at 105 hours since last use.
On friday around 5 PM I took 8mg of Suboxone, and then 4mg more an hour and a half later.(12mg)
Saturday around 2PM I took 8Mg of Suboxone.
Sunday around noon, I took 6mg
Monday around 10am, I took 4.5mg
And finally, today, at 4AM I took 3.5mg.
In these last 105 hours, I have had several of my friends reach out, like I never knew anyone could. I moved back into my house, my mother is helping me stay positive, and my x-girlfriend and I are giving it another go, taking things slowly. I find it amazing how my quality of life has sky-rocket'd in the last 4 days, even though I'm not feeling great, although I do feel as if Suboxone is a godsend, I know it's evils are very real, and that's why I am taking a rapid approach to getting off of it. I'm also planning to attend an NA meeting tonight at 8PM.
Somehow, I managed to SAVE UP a lot of money, and now can afford to buy a car, and afford a two year college, so I'm feeling VERY positive right now, I just hope I can stay that way. I'm almost 24, I feel it's time to start life.
I came here for support, google referred me, after my question about the length of withdrawal was typed in, I read a few posts on here, and I'm amazed at the morale that everyone seems to have, and I would appreciate any help staying positive, because this is NOT easy. Also, if anyone with experience reads this, I would like opinions on my using suboxone, and what I can expect for how long once I do get off of it(hopefully in the next 3 days!)
P.s. Perhaps this post may be TMI for some, but it feels good to get it off of my chest, as I rarely talk with anyone about my past, it's shameful.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Alabama
Posts: 226
Congrats on deciding to get sober! You're right it is time to start living. I wish you the best of luck and you will be able to find lots of support here.
Also, have you looked into any formal treatment other than just NA attendance? Sounds like maybe a rehab environment might be helpful for you too. Best of luck.
Also, have you looked into any formal treatment other than just NA attendance? Sounds like maybe a rehab environment might be helpful for you too. Best of luck.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 256
Kevin,
You should be so proud of yourself that you are making true steps to change your life for the better. You literally have your whole life ahead of you! Yes, you've had some issues, but wow - you have the chance of a lifetime to turn it all around now. Which, it sure sounds like you will do.
Please read and post here often. You will find TONS of support. :day6
WELCOME!!!!!!
You should be so proud of yourself that you are making true steps to change your life for the better. You literally have your whole life ahead of you! Yes, you've had some issues, but wow - you have the chance of a lifetime to turn it all around now. Which, it sure sounds like you will do.
Please read and post here often. You will find TONS of support. :day6
WELCOME!!!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Nassau County, NY
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by humblestudent 
Kevin,
You should be so proud of yourself that you are making true steps to change your life for the better. You literally have your whole life ahead of you! Yes, you've had some issues, but wow - you have the chance of a lifetime to turn it all around now. Which, it sure sounds like you will do.
Please read and post here often. You will find TONS of support. :day6
WELCOME!!!!!!
You should be so proud of yourself that you are making true steps to change your life for the better. You literally have your whole life ahead of you! Yes, you've had some issues, but wow - you have the chance of a lifetime to turn it all around now. Which, it sure sounds like you will do.
Please read and post here often. You will find TONS of support. :day6
WELCOME!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 37
Most people likely would have said, "f**kit, i'm just done" and drifted away into obscurity. you didn't. if you were down the street i'd walk there and give you a high 5. keep SR updated with your progress, i think it ends up helping everyone.
Last edited by Dee74; 10-04-2011 at 04:42 PM. Reason: rule9
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Nassau County, NY
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by jaerp
Most people likely would have said, "fuckit, i'm just done" and drifted away into obscurity. you didn't. if you were down the street i'd walk there and give you a high 5. keep SR updated with your progress, i think it ends up helping everyone.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
welcome to SR Lmaonaise
I've never used suboxone but I recommend you use it with a Dr, not on your own - if that's what's happening?
By our rules we can't give you medical advice here - and in any case everyone's different.
Questions like this are best asked of professionals, IMO
We do have a substance abuse forum and a suboxone forum tho - you may find other members experiences in there
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/substance-abuse
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tenance-detox/
D
I've never used suboxone but I recommend you use it with a Dr, not on your own - if that's what's happening?
Also, if anyone with experience reads this, I would like opinions on my using suboxone, and what I can expect for how long once I do get off of it(hopefully in the next 3 days!)
Questions like this are best asked of professionals, IMO
We do have a substance abuse forum and a suboxone forum tho - you may find other members experiences in there
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/substance-abuse
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tenance-detox/
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi Kevin - welcome!
You've been through a lot! It takes some courage to admit our problem, but that's when we can start turning things around. Life really is better in every way when we're not messing with our brains and health.
It definitely takes support, so hang around and keep reading/posting!
You've been through a lot! It takes some courage to admit our problem, but that's when we can start turning things around. Life really is better in every way when we're not messing with our brains and health.
It definitely takes support, so hang around and keep reading/posting!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 281
Originally Posted by Lmaonaise
P.s. Perhaps this post may be TMI for some, but it feels good to get it off of my chest, as I rarely talk with anyone about my past, it's shameful.
Congrats on starting a happier healthier life, it will just keep getting better!! =)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Nassau County, NY
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by shanman422
Welcome!! Nothing you share on SR is really TMI. You will definitely find others here to relate to, just keep reading and posting!
Congrats on starting a happier healthier life, it will just keep getting better!! =)
Congrats on starting a happier healthier life, it will just keep getting better!! =)
I just crossed into day 7, I took 3.5 mg yesterday, and 2mg this morning, feeling okay! I'm very optimistic, I went to The local comm college and got appointments set up for financial aid and academic advisement, and then made it to the DMV to get the ball rolling for getting my license back.. LONG DAY. But a productive one none the less and I couldn't be happier!
P.s. that last post was a typo, that was day 6!
July 8, 2011
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: California
Posts: 66
hi! welcome. I've been psoting and reading here just the last couple weeks and have found a lot of support and wisdom here. it is amazing how your life can come back together when you have a different veiw on things. congrats and hang in there, things will get tough but is it all really worth going back to? no!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Nassau County, NY
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by SaraMichelle
hi! welcome. I've been psoting and reading here just the last couple weeks and have found a lot of support and wisdom here. it is amazing how your life can come back together when you have a different veiw on things. congrats and hang in there, things will get tough but is it all really worth going back to? no!
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