griswold

I posted on here a few months back. My wife and I were married in March of this year and it seemed like since then our relationship has taken a down-whirl spiral. Living with someone who is an alcoholic is one of the most heart breaking situations to be in. You love that person but that alcohol controls them and seems to seep its way into just about every part of the relationship. I didn't drink much before meeting my wife but quickly found myself drinking more with her. I didn't see this as her having a drinking problem right away. When I knew there was a problem is when I felt like she needed me to drink with her and would get upset if I wouldn't. The drinking also brought out a nasty side to both of use, more times then not an argument would ensue. It usually took two or three to emotionally recover from the argument and it would be right back into drinking. It was a vicious circle. I had no idea how much alcohol can screw up a relationship.

For the past couple months we have had no kind of relationship. I have been a wreck trying to figure out what was wrong or if I caused something. Not realizing all along that alcohol was behind a lot of it. For the past week I have been pushing for more of a relationship from here and she kept pulling away. Yesterday, I moved out, more of her choice then mine and I think she is filling for divorce this week. My heart is broken that I am losing my wife but in a way I am relieved that the whirl-wind will be coming to an end.

Luckily we don't have any kids together; which makes things easier. However, I'm dreading getting some drunk texts from her in the middle of the night. I do miss her but I don't miss fighting alcohol for her attention.

Like most, I read a lot on here and appreciate all the support everyone has given, even if it wasn't directed at me.

suki44883

I'm sorry you had to go through that, but it's better to just get it over with if things aren't going to get better, which they won't if she continues drinking. If she starts in the drunk texting, you can just block her from your phone. No need to put up with that nonsense.

ONEinaMILLION

Hi griswold! Welcome to the club, my marriage ended after only eight months for the same reason. It is painful having to go through that only months after having had the feeling that you had found the love of your life and were ready to spend the rest of your life with them. But believe me, it gets better with time. I've been separated for over a year now and signed my divorced papers last june and I've managed to go on with my life and pretty much get over my ex. Some days are still tough but then when I receive those drunk texts or when I see his posts on fb and can tell that he is home completely wasted posting on facebook it all comes back to me and I realize I'm better off this way...
It's a rough path so take care of yourself, try to go to counselling and talk, talk, talk... I think talking, especially to people who know what you're going through, is very healing. There's a lot of us who've gone through similar situations and we are here to listen, so feel free to stop by as often as you need. Good luck in your journey!

Willybluedog

Griswold,

Glad you are here, so sorry about your marriage, I am sure things will be better in time.

Take care of yourself, living with an alcoholic is tough, divorce is no picnic either, try to eat right and get enough rest, pray or meditate, and get out and exercise.

Take care, come back often.

WBD

LifeRecovery

I was struggling right after I got married with my exAH use of substances. l wondered a couple of months in if I was going to regret this marriage.

Five years later it all hit the fan. It did not get any better in the interum. It just took that long for me to come to terms.

marie1960

griswold, Nice to meet you, but sorry for what brings you here. In reading your post you said; "I do miss her but I don't miss fighting alcohol for her attention." I can relate to that.

I ended a relationship because addiction of XA was controlling my life also. In these last 4 months my energy level has tripled. I am no longer dragged down on a daily basis. I am no longer involved in a daily routine that revolves around alcohol. I no longer have to watch, listen, or see any of the crazy unacceptable behavior that alcoholics live each day.

I am not angry everyday, I am not sad everyday. I am not confused everyday. I no longer have to compete with the alcohol. I don't have to second guess what kind of mood he will be in at the end of the day. Towards the end, his drinking escalated and the ugly, argumentative, fall down, black out, out of control drunk was affecting my well being.

I never realized how much his disease was sucking the life right out of me. I know you are going through a rough time now, let me just say, I am in such a better place today, and I believe with time you will be too. So keep the faith, it will get better....... Peace is on the horizon........ Sending you positive thoughts. Take care of you.