Robert2287

Went to my first meeting for a third time. Will this time be different? I don't know. I want it to be. I had a more positive feeling leaving this one vs. the prior two. I was actually looking for another one later tonight but was bummed to find the only one in my area is at midnight. I'm going to go to at least one tomorrow morning.

I know the biggest issue regarding recovery is me.

But here are three other issues that will prove challenging and I'm hoping people may have some advice.

1) The wife. Havent told her I'm going. Didnt tell her about the previous 2 times (which were over a year ago). I can pretty much guarantee she will think I am overreacting. What do I say? Go screw? I guess I'll just try and be as honest as possible about how I feel about myself

2) Booze in the house. I poured everything I like down the drain. But there is still a bottle of Vodka that is my wifes libation of choice. I almost never drink vodka but in a perfect world thered be no booze in the house. Has anyone else tackled this issue?

3) Focus. Any time I have tried to quit in the past once it gets to like day 3 or 4 I have a hell of a time focusing. I am in no position to be taking days off at work. I'm going to try to really drink tons of water and take vitamins but does anyone else have any advice?


I feel like I have been typing forever so let me just thank everyone who makes up this community....I'm gonna try and stick around here as much as possible to stay sane and sober.

suki44883

Welcome to SR! You will find a lot of support here. Congratulations on your decision to live a sober life. You are giving yourself the best gift you possibly could.

We usually recommend seeing your doctor and letting him/her know what you're doing. They can help you get through the worst of the withdrawals. Depending on how much you've been drinking, they could be pretty bad. If you ever feel chest pains, racing heart, etc., please go to the ER. Alcohol withdrawal can be deadly.

Again, welcome to SR. Stick around and read and post often. We're here to support you.

Robert2287

Thanks, for this, I'm going to try and get a Monday appointment. I was a 4 to 12+ drink a day person so we'll see how the withdrawl goes. Thanks for welcoming me.

Dee74

Hi Robert

Sukis advice on seeking medical supervision is great - glad you're looking for an appointment

as for some of the other stuff:

Whether you tell your wife or not is up to you. I know I would but I also know not all relationships are the same...some members here have discussed things with their partner, some haven't.

I think the main thing is to realise it really is down to us - like you said the problem is you and 'you' needs to be your focus.


I haven't. My house is a booze free zone and my non live in partner supports me. Others here deal with alcohol in the house and partners who drink and I know you'll hear from them.

Maybe the fact there is vodka in the house and you're thinking about that is a vote for talking things over with your wife?

I was like that too. Support really changed things for me - knowing I wasn't alone and that people had my back here really helped me push past that 3-4 day barrier. I hope it will help you too

With regards to withdrawal and focusing, your Dr will no doubt have some suggestions on ways to make withdrawal easier.

You may find this thread of benefit too:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Welcome to SR

D

artsoul

Welcome Robert - Glad you found this forum..... I know I needed a ton of support in the first days and this place really helped me keep going.

I think an honest talk with your wife sounds like a great idea, even if she doesn't totally "get it." Getting sober had to be my #1 priority because I knew if I didn't stop drinking, everything else was in jeopardy.

As it turned out, I became a happier and healthier person and was able to give much more to friends/family, so no one lost in the end.

Keep going, one day at a time!

Anna

I agree that it would be a good idea to talk to your wife. If she doesn't 'get it' and many people don't, then at least you have tried. I didn't tell my husband because I had promised too many times and I decided to just be quiet and stop.

I never keep alcohol in the house and haven't for years, and never serve it either.

As for focus, just do the best you can. I know there were a few days when it was a struggle to get the minimum work done, but it will get better as each day goes by.

recoverywfaith

Welcome to SR.

gravity

Does your wife has a problem with you quitting drinking or with AA? If she is not an alcoholic or co-dependant, I would think she would be supportive or at worst indifferent. This is YOUR recovery...do what you gotta do. You'll be a better husband for it guaranteed.

instant

Letting your wife know at some point is a good idea. She might wonder where you are sneaking off to. My wife drinks and there is alcohol in the house. I figured I was going to come into contact with alcohol in a lot of places, so I'd better get used to it. I do recall mentioning to her that I was planning not to drink anymore. She had heard it all before so she has only become interested as time has gone on, but she has been supportive but not in a big deal kind of way.

Threshold

I'm glad you're here, and glad you posted. I dealt with some of your issues in my recovery process. Reading what you are dealing with and the suggestions of others is helping me as well.

My spouse didn't quite understand why I got into NA and was telling him I was an addict. I'd always been a functional addict as far as going to work, taking care of home and children etc. It was clear through my other behavior that something very serious was wrong, but he didn't seem to link the two. He didn't understand and had no interest in learning more or attending Al-anon etc. He was, I believe, embarrassed that I had "come out" and my ungraceful process of getting and staying clean was not cool with him.

If I was self centered in addiction, I was more so in early recovery. I do not regret that. I had to get clean and get my internal life in order or there was no hope for me or any of my relationships.

There was alcohol in the home as both he and a grown son kicked back after work with a couple of beers and on weekends a few mixed drinks. I knew that it was not the responsibility of anyone but myself to keep me clean. Booze is everywhere, so are people who don't understand addiction, so are people who don't or can't accept that someone they love and count on is an addict. This is one reason why I found this site and my NA group so critical. This is where I made contact with people who did understand, and supported my recovery.

In your wife cannot accept you are an alcoholic, I hope she can accept that you feel your drinking is an issue and are seeking support to stop. Unless you can attend lunchtime meetings where she won't notice any change in your schedule etc, it is probably best to tell her where you are going so she won't think the worst. But only you can judge how she might respond, etc.

You've come to the right place here at SR.

sugarbear1

I'm curious, do you believe you are an alcoholic? What problems happen if you drink?