Im alcoholic, my partner left...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Ireland
Posts: 10
Im alcoholic, my partner left...
Hi again,
Just a wee bit about me. I was with my partner for 1 and a half yrs and from day 1 he had been threatening to leave. He did about 5 weeks ago. Before I met him , I had been in a VERY abusive relationship for which I had sought counselling and support. My self esteem has been at rock bottom for years at least 20+ yrs, and this led me to binge drinking by the time I was 17. Im now 34 and I have 1 child.Over the years I tried on many occasions to ease off on the drinking and because I only drank at odd weekends and special occasions , I thought foolishly that I didnt have a problem. Dont get me wrong, I knew deep down this was not normal and I was so scared to ask for help or talk about it. family members commented on my drinking years ago and I have lost some 'friends' over it...but were they friends Im not sure????
So to the present date, Im in recovery now 1 month and Im attending regular AA meetings and a support group. I feel Im doing ok but its one day at a time I know that... My ex partner gave me a terrible hard time over my inability to socialise or go out , even though he never went anywhere himself, was very tight with money and did not drink. I was always on edge around him and I think I stayed with him to 'fill a void'. I was so sad all the time but he was so aggresive , controlling and verbally abusive to me. He made me tell my family about things that I did not feel ready to tell and he made me out to be mad to them. My dad seen him for what he was 5 weeks ago and thank God as I DID think I was going mad...my drinking was by that stage beginning to frighten me
He is gone now and my heart is lighter and I feel that I maybe now can overcome all the past that still haunts me....
Thankyou all for reading this as I know its long but I just wanted an opinion or two on my situation.
Just a wee bit about me. I was with my partner for 1 and a half yrs and from day 1 he had been threatening to leave. He did about 5 weeks ago. Before I met him , I had been in a VERY abusive relationship for which I had sought counselling and support. My self esteem has been at rock bottom for years at least 20+ yrs, and this led me to binge drinking by the time I was 17. Im now 34 and I have 1 child.Over the years I tried on many occasions to ease off on the drinking and because I only drank at odd weekends and special occasions , I thought foolishly that I didnt have a problem. Dont get me wrong, I knew deep down this was not normal and I was so scared to ask for help or talk about it. family members commented on my drinking years ago and I have lost some 'friends' over it...but were they friends Im not sure????
So to the present date, Im in recovery now 1 month and Im attending regular AA meetings and a support group. I feel Im doing ok but its one day at a time I know that... My ex partner gave me a terrible hard time over my inability to socialise or go out , even though he never went anywhere himself, was very tight with money and did not drink. I was always on edge around him and I think I stayed with him to 'fill a void'. I was so sad all the time but he was so aggresive , controlling and verbally abusive to me. He made me tell my family about things that I did not feel ready to tell and he made me out to be mad to them. My dad seen him for what he was 5 weeks ago and thank God as I DID think I was going mad...my drinking was by that stage beginning to frighten me
He is gone now and my heart is lighter and I feel that I maybe now can overcome all the past that still haunts me....Thankyou all for reading this as I know its long but I just wanted an opinion or two on my situation.
You'll find a lot of support here.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Hello aoibhe - so nice to meet you. I'm glad you told some of your story. I think once we do that it helps us heal. Holding things inside makes us sick.
I understand wanting to drink to ease the pain of what you've been through. The problem is, we remain on square one emotionally when we do that. We don't grow or move past the bad things that happened. So it's great that you've seen the light and no longer want to get numb to deal with your pain. Would counseling be a possibility?
I hope you'll continue to talk to us. Congratulations on your recovery - be proud of what you've accomplished.
I understand wanting to drink to ease the pain of what you've been through. The problem is, we remain on square one emotionally when we do that. We don't grow or move past the bad things that happened. So it's great that you've seen the light and no longer want to get numb to deal with your pain. Would counseling be a possibility?
I hope you'll continue to talk to us. Congratulations on your recovery - be proud of what you've accomplished.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Aoihbe,
It sounds like you have gone from one abusive relationship to another, god for you for getting out of it.
You are only 34 and have a lot of good sober years ahead of you to find the sober you.
It will take time, so be patient. Keep going to meetings and made sobriety number one in your life.
Good on you
CaiHong
It sounds like you have gone from one abusive relationship to another, god for you for getting out of it.
You are only 34 and have a lot of good sober years ahead of you to find the sober you.
It will take time, so be patient. Keep going to meetings and made sobriety number one in your life.
Good on you
CaiHong
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