Mind playing tricks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
Mind playing tricks.
There's something really wrong going on here and I'm bringing it out into the open, lest it happens to you and you are as baffled as many of us are who experience this occasionally.
Today, inspite of a couple brain cramps that left me temporarily befuddled, I happened to recognize that I was actually, unbeknownst to me, feeling pretty darn good. What's disturbing about this is that it kinda just sneeks up on you, without any warning whatsoever. You may be thinking about totally unrelated stuff when all of a sudden, wham, you catch yourself feeling good without booze in your life. Then I have to ask myself, how did that happen? I always related my good times to booze, so is this just a delayed hangover, or could it actually be real? It's suspect, that's for sure.
This totally destroys my conviction that my life would be totally boring and dreary without alcohol. Since really getting serious about giving up the booze and stopping the insanity in my life, most of my preconceived ideas have been shattered, knocked around, or proven to be totally false beliefs, so my confidence is shaky at best.
I've had the pink clouds and the rush of pent-up emotions, and this is different. It seems almost real, so I'll keep you posted if and when this strange phenom occurs again.
If it happens to you, please let us know, we could be on to something here.
Newcomers, it does get better, so don't give up.
Today, inspite of a couple brain cramps that left me temporarily befuddled, I happened to recognize that I was actually, unbeknownst to me, feeling pretty darn good. What's disturbing about this is that it kinda just sneeks up on you, without any warning whatsoever. You may be thinking about totally unrelated stuff when all of a sudden, wham, you catch yourself feeling good without booze in your life. Then I have to ask myself, how did that happen? I always related my good times to booze, so is this just a delayed hangover, or could it actually be real? It's suspect, that's for sure.
This totally destroys my conviction that my life would be totally boring and dreary without alcohol. Since really getting serious about giving up the booze and stopping the insanity in my life, most of my preconceived ideas have been shattered, knocked around, or proven to be totally false beliefs, so my confidence is shaky at best.
I've had the pink clouds and the rush of pent-up emotions, and this is different. It seems almost real, so I'll keep you posted if and when this strange phenom occurs again.
If it happens to you, please let us know, we could be on to something here.
Newcomers, it does get better, so don't give up.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
Dee, I think you nailed it, it's called peace, huh?
Peace, happiness, contentment, serenity, they all seem to figure in somehow.
The first time I heard the serenity prayer, and the part, "God, grant me the serenity..." I thought serenity was something God passed out, like granting me a cup of coffee. Now, I think it's some kind of byproduct of living better and making better decisions. I may be wrong, but that's my present outlook.
I often hesitate to post about the positive side of recovery here, for it seems people find the relapse or hardtimes threads much more intriguing. But after you've groveled in hell for so many years, with so many failed attempts to stop drinking, it's like Christmas every day just to not drink and be present for each moment of life each day. The struggles become easier to cope with, support is everpresent if you seek it, (especially here at SR) and friendships rise up from the struggle to survive that are more precious than we could have ever anticipated.
Sure, misery loves company, but so does happiness and contentment. It's great to encounter those to whom sobriety is a new spark of life, for they inspire me to see the bright side daily, instead of focusing on the dark. The foe of alcoholism is everpresent, but so are the forces that help us overcome this affliction, and that to me is worth spouting off about.
Peace, happiness, contentment, serenity, they all seem to figure in somehow.
The first time I heard the serenity prayer, and the part, "God, grant me the serenity..." I thought serenity was something God passed out, like granting me a cup of coffee. Now, I think it's some kind of byproduct of living better and making better decisions. I may be wrong, but that's my present outlook.
I often hesitate to post about the positive side of recovery here, for it seems people find the relapse or hardtimes threads much more intriguing. But after you've groveled in hell for so many years, with so many failed attempts to stop drinking, it's like Christmas every day just to not drink and be present for each moment of life each day. The struggles become easier to cope with, support is everpresent if you seek it, (especially here at SR) and friendships rise up from the struggle to survive that are more precious than we could have ever anticipated.
Sure, misery loves company, but so does happiness and contentment. It's great to encounter those to whom sobriety is a new spark of life, for they inspire me to see the bright side daily, instead of focusing on the dark. The foe of alcoholism is everpresent, but so are the forces that help us overcome this affliction, and that to me is worth spouting off about.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Yes, absolutely, Firestorm, it's peace, and you've found it!
I never experienced the 'pink cloud', but was as surprised and pleased as you are when this wonderful calm, peace crept into my life. It's something that I cherish so much, because I know what it's like to live without it and I don't want to go back there.
I never experienced the 'pink cloud', but was as surprised and pleased as you are when this wonderful calm, peace crept into my life. It's something that I cherish so much, because I know what it's like to live without it and I don't want to go back there.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
LOVE! These are my favorite kinds of posts. People told me when I first quit that I was on a pink cloud. LOL whatev...life has shaken me up a good bit here and there since I quit (foreclosure, break-ups, etc)...but nothing rattles me to my core anymore. Fear, sadness, anger sometimes...all pass through occasionally, but all part of a beautiful life.
The same principle that applies to the negative downward spiral also applies to the positive upward spiral. Great thoughts Firestorm
The same principle that applies to the negative downward spiral also applies to the positive upward spiral. Great thoughts Firestorm
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 133
I'm currently experiencing one of the most stressful times in my life (not alcohol related), every time I feel depressed about it, I reflect on how bad things would be if I was drinking, it gives me a great emotional boost.
MINEr
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Bay Area, Ca
Posts: 505
Yeah, this feeling hits me every once in a while too. I refer to it as being in a state of love. We give love, and we recieve it, but to be in the state of is something else. The peace, serenity, and good will I feel is almost overwhelming after all those years of sorrow, chaos, and pain.
camedown
camedown
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by firestorm090 
You may be thinking about totally unrelated stuff when all of a sudden, wham, you catch yourself feeling good without booze in your life. Then I have to ask myself, how did that happen? I always related my good times to booze, so is this just a delayed hangover, or could it actually be real? It's suspect, that's for sure.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
