Crap... back again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 54
Crap... back again.
Well, I went about five weeks without drinking and started up again. The farther out I go, the more I convince myself it's not a big deal.
It really depends on the situation, though. At a work function people were buying me beers because I didn't have one. I drank them sheepishly and didn't want any more... just wanted to leave.
The next day, I was with friends and a similar thing happened. After I had one or two, I wanted to get smashed, and I did. I think I'm more addicted to the fun and silliness that comes with barhopping and whatnot. But yea, if my friends are up to it... there's no stopping me.
The hardest part is that I don't have any up-front reason not to drink. I'm careful about my behavior, don't really overspend, can reason out a good way home, only do it heavily every month or two. Light/moderate hangover, maybe. I'd like to not, though. I don't like what it does to your health and my dad is a bad, mean alchie and I don't want to end up there.
How do I convince myself to stop the 'fun' train before it goes to 'bad' land... just turned 23 btw.
It really depends on the situation, though. At a work function people were buying me beers because I didn't have one. I drank them sheepishly and didn't want any more... just wanted to leave.
The next day, I was with friends and a similar thing happened. After I had one or two, I wanted to get smashed, and I did. I think I'm more addicted to the fun and silliness that comes with barhopping and whatnot. But yea, if my friends are up to it... there's no stopping me.
The hardest part is that I don't have any up-front reason not to drink. I'm careful about my behavior, don't really overspend, can reason out a good way home, only do it heavily every month or two. Light/moderate hangover, maybe. I'd like to not, though. I don't like what it does to your health and my dad is a bad, mean alchie and I don't want to end up there.
How do I convince myself to stop the 'fun' train before it goes to 'bad' land... just turned 23 btw.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
I couldn't pull that one off MM. I tried a lot of "solutions" too but never managed to get any of them to work. And the truth of my situation was one more drunk would probably lead to yet another DUI which, in my case, would mean real prison time.
There might have been a way for me to sober myself up eventually but 1. I didn't have the desire to go through all the ones that wouldn't work and 2. I couldn't afford another "slip."
I thought getting serious about recovery and getting involved in a recovery program would mean the end of most of the fun in my life. Boy, did I ever have that one wrong! I had NO CLUE I was missing the vast majority of the fun IN life by partying, getting drunk and doing dope.
Getting involved in recovery had been THE most rewarding thing I've ever done.
There might have been a way for me to sober myself up eventually but 1. I didn't have the desire to go through all the ones that wouldn't work and 2. I couldn't afford another "slip."
I thought getting serious about recovery and getting involved in a recovery program would mean the end of most of the fun in my life. Boy, did I ever have that one wrong! I had NO CLUE I was missing the vast majority of the fun IN life by partying, getting drunk and doing dope.
Getting involved in recovery had been THE most rewarding thing I've ever done.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
I'm not sure what to tell you MM except what I'd say to myself circa 1990 if I could....
If you're a drinker like me, it will get worse...those little moments when you despair at what you're doing - expect them to get more frequent, and for it to be harder and harder and harder to put down the bottle as the years go by.
You lasted 5 weeks...there's obviously a problem there.
I wish I could have stopped 20 years ago...but back then I thought more of my friends and how it looked to them, rather than of my own well being.
D
If you're a drinker like me, it will get worse...those little moments when you despair at what you're doing - expect them to get more frequent, and for it to be harder and harder and harder to put down the bottle as the years go by.
You lasted 5 weeks...there's obviously a problem there.
I wish I could have stopped 20 years ago...but back then I thought more of my friends and how it looked to them, rather than of my own well being.
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi mathmajor -
I have to commend you for 5 weeks sober and for coming here and posting about it.
Well I'm sure we could give you plenty(!)...... I do think it can be hard sometimes when we haven't had any really bad consequences, but the catch 22 is that you don't want to get to that point.
I read some of your other posts and saw that your father is an active alcoholic. You also mentioned having liver disease at age 20....(?)........ Those are pretty good reasons I would think...... Just remember that justifying and rationalizing is part of addiction and none of us ever dreamt we'd allow things to get out of hand.
Thanks for the post - we're all behind you!
I have to commend you for 5 weeks sober and for coming here and posting about it.
The hardest part is that I don't have any up-front reason not to drink.
I read some of your other posts and saw that your father is an active alcoholic. You also mentioned having liver disease at age 20....(?)........ Those are pretty good reasons I would think...... Just remember that justifying and rationalizing is part of addiction and none of us ever dreamt we'd allow things to get out of hand.
Thanks for the post - we're all behind you!
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