Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you recognize that you have a problem with drugs and want help.

In my opinion, you need to separate from your friends, at least temporarily, until you get some sober time together. It sounds like a very unhealthy group of people and it sounds like you know what you need to do. Put the focus on yourself and staying clean and hopefully your friends will see your example.

alaena04

I'm writing here because I have no one to talk to, because everyone I know abuses something and thinks its OK. All of my immediate support heavily drink. They won't have any social function if not drinking...lots...and most use drugs often. More than one friend has confided in me that they started to abuse prescription pills and can't stop. My boyfriend is addicted to methadone and it makes him mean and scary. They all think I'm sober, on top of my game..with it. My friends look up to me because I'm the only college graduate, I'm the one who helps them get a job, impress a girl or make important decisions or so on. I've been hiding a pill addiction for years and years. It doesn't seem to affect my life, ability to hold a job, do well in school etc. I want to stop because I am smarter than this and I know I'm going to OD someday. I can't imagine going through it alone, and I can't imagine letting everyone I know down.

There is something making me think about this right now. My best friend just went into a 30 day residential detox program for alcohol. he is in the military and they basically forced him to go. He drank so much that he almost died...would have died if some one didn't come into his bunk to hang out with him and call 911. I'm the only person he told and he asked me to keep it a secret. I won't be able to talk to him for 30 days. What do I do when he gets out? I want him to get better. I care about him more than I've ever told him. I'm a hypocrite and a liar for pretending to be a drug free person.

My social group is very very close. We are all co-dependent and most of us have no other family other than each other. Ever since one of our best committed suicide last year (again, drug-related) we have been spiraling down, unable to deal. We can't separate but are killing each other with our bad coping. I moved away for a whole year across country, I got a lot better. Now I'm back...everyone here got a lot worse and I'm getting worse again too.

Please, some one encourage me. I'm about to give up.

UofI2008

Congrats on admitting your problem!

Did you ever think that maybe you are letting them down my countinuing to drink and drug? I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but, try looking at it from a different perspective. Maybe you can lift yourself and the group up by committing to sobriety.

Dee74

Hi alaena04

Welcome

Anna's right - they may be your friends and you obviously love them - but it sounds a dreadfully destructive and unhealthy relationship.

I was in a similar group.

Ultimately I had to face a choice - I could do what I knew was right for me and change my life, or I could go along with everyone elses sickness and accept the inevitable.

I've never regretted making the choice for me.

D

ulverston

you have to do this for your self..
this is a very selfish disease /meaning you have to be number one in your own life ..
if you dont save you ...who will..
same goes for your friends.
only they can help them selves when they are ready.
god bless

ChaoticSunshine

Wow, this is tough.

You have to get sober for yourself, and your friends have to do the same. Maybe you can admit to them that you have a problem that you've been hiding because you feel like you must be the "mom" of everyone and hence have it together. Perhaps then you can explain that you need to make an exit and make yourself better. You'll be leading by example and maybe encourage a few of your friends to make a change.

There are several therapists that can help, and if insurance is a problem, there are crisis centers that can be called when needed. But everyone has to get sober....a sober person can't lean on an addict, and when an addict leans on a newly sober former addict, they drag them back into the hole. It's going to be a terrible cycle and none of you will get out until you separate yourselves from each other and get sober.

PhaseOne

Personally, I have a similar situation. My best friend is a avid pot smoker, I mean is always altered 24/7. I know people may say weed isn't a drug, but me being around him and not being able to smoke because of my job, I resort to drinks instead. Basically what I had to do was just start hanging out with people who weren't going to drive me to be "altered". I know my situation may be a little different, but if they are your true friends, and you tell them the truth, they will listen.

Today was the day I told everyone that I was an alcoholic. I got people who said they knew, people who's jaws dropped. I was so good at hiding it for the past 6 years that only the CLOSEST of my friends saw it. I do drink everyday, I just drink when no one is around, so no one sees it. I hid it for so long and it's not till I got confronted by my parents and my sister over the weekend, that I admitted it. I always knew it in my heart and it was always in the back of my mind, and I always wanted to stop, but I was alone... kind of like you are. It was a secret. My advice.... stop keeping it a secret!!!! I feel SO MUCH better emotionally knowing that everyone I have told has been behind me 110% and wants to help me. You just have to be honest... that's my two cents.

Best of luck, we are here for you!