ok....there's more....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 56
ok....there's more....
i have a confession to make...I saw exguitar player boyfriend last night....and beleive it or not we worked strictly on music and nothing else...what does not cease to amaze me is that we COMPLETELY get alone when it comes to making music...we TOTALLY GET ALONG. we gel...The recording session went on until about 2AM which meant I was not going to trekk back to my apartment in bumville just to get home at 4am. So I spent the night....I started out sleeping on the couch and he said to come to his bed and that he would be on his "best behavior"...he's the one that said that not me....and he kept his word! He did not make any sexual advances to me! I was annoyed!! I wanted him to!!! I wanted to! for whatever sick reason I was pissed that he did not...dont know if it's because I wanted to have the pleasure of rejecting him or the pleasure of the pleasure ....meaning sex...i have not had sex in months! Then he gets a phone call at 3AM on his cell phone and goes to another room and is gone for an hour...I was flipping in his bedroom! I was torturing myself saying he was talking to another woman but I did not let him know that!! I was literally torturing my insides!!! it was the worst feelilng in the world....! I am so confused and screwed up in the head right about now...the music works,...my heart is torn in two...I AM OUT OF CONTROL WITH THIS SELF MENTAL TORTURE!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Dreaming Summer
Posts: 821
Time to ask yourself the hard questions....
If there were no other interest,would you still be motivated to maintain the musical alliance? Would he?
What exactly do you want from the relationship? How likely are you to get it? Is it worth the emotional turmoil?
For myself,I much prefer emotional balance and stability.And I find that I would need to be able to bring that stability to a relationship.If it's not there...if I don't have it...I better not get involved.Figure out what you really want and go from there.
phoenix
If there were no other interest,would you still be motivated to maintain the musical alliance? Would he?
What exactly do you want from the relationship? How likely are you to get it? Is it worth the emotional turmoil?
For myself,I much prefer emotional balance and stability.And I find that I would need to be able to bring that stability to a relationship.If it's not there...if I don't have it...I better not get involved.Figure out what you really want and go from there.
phoenix
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Diva
Nothing will change until you change, and until that happens you can just expect more of the same.
Your mental torture is of your own making. Nobody is forcing you to do anything, but you continue to put yourself in a situation where you come out hurting and then you wonder why.
Someone one here recoently referred to this as sticking your hand in the bee hive.
When you are ready to work on loving yourself, Diva, the rest will fall into place. Until then, you're looking for love in all the wrong places.
This may sound harsh, Diva, but dang it, I'm not giving up on you. I believe that you can do it. The thing is, you have to believe it too. Do you believe it Diva?
Hugs and Pushes
Ann
Nothing will change until you change, and until that happens you can just expect more of the same.
Your mental torture is of your own making. Nobody is forcing you to do anything, but you continue to put yourself in a situation where you come out hurting and then you wonder why.
Someone one here recoently referred to this as sticking your hand in the bee hive.
When you are ready to work on loving yourself, Diva, the rest will fall into place. Until then, you're looking for love in all the wrong places.
This may sound harsh, Diva, but dang it, I'm not giving up on you. I believe that you can do it. The thing is, you have to believe it too. Do you believe it Diva?
Hugs and Pushes
Ann
Queen of one liners
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: walking beside you! Not in front of you.
Posts: 658
Diva,
Please re-read the above replies....Both are kind, loving, and truthful...and I say ditto.
With so many others out there wanting a good healthy relationship as much as you do why are you still wanting a relationship with this one....It surely sounds self-defeating to me...
YOU are worth so much more....
Are you willing to settle for less?
Love and prayers,
Daff
Please re-read the above replies....Both are kind, loving, and truthful...and I say ditto.
With so many others out there wanting a good healthy relationship as much as you do why are you still wanting a relationship with this one....It surely sounds self-defeating to me...
YOU are worth so much more....
Are you willing to settle for less?
Love and prayers,
Daff
believer
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: walking in faith
Posts: 1,023
((((((Diva))))))
When I was in college, I dated a guy who was in a long-term, long-distance relationship. I was his girl in town but he never let me forget that his g/f was his true love. He would talk about her to me constantly or would call her when I was in the next room. I have never felt so lonely or worthless in all my life, yet I obviously felt that I didn't deserve any better, b/c I stayed. We dated for almost a year, till finally I became interested in someone else and broke it off for good.
So I know the pain you're going through. But you have to learn like I eventually did - you deserve better. You don't deserve to be second fiddle to anyone. God did not put you on this earth to lay waiting in a man's bed while he talks to some other girl in the next room. You are worth so much more than this. You are settling for less. You are better than this.
I understand you guys have a professional relationship, but it may be best to quit hanging around him until you can get him out of your system. As we love to say around here, nothing changes if nothing changes.
Hugs,
JG
When I was in college, I dated a guy who was in a long-term, long-distance relationship. I was his girl in town but he never let me forget that his g/f was his true love. He would talk about her to me constantly or would call her when I was in the next room. I have never felt so lonely or worthless in all my life, yet I obviously felt that I didn't deserve any better, b/c I stayed. We dated for almost a year, till finally I became interested in someone else and broke it off for good.
So I know the pain you're going through. But you have to learn like I eventually did - you deserve better. You don't deserve to be second fiddle to anyone. God did not put you on this earth to lay waiting in a man's bed while he talks to some other girl in the next room. You are worth so much more than this. You are settling for less. You are better than this.
I understand you guys have a professional relationship, but it may be best to quit hanging around him until you can get him out of your system. As we love to say around here, nothing changes if nothing changes.
Hugs,
JG
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