Room1

Why, why, why, I try so hard, I'm 40 years old now, but sometimes it's just like it was when I was 14, so fed up, no matter what I do or say, people just drag the past up, so much for honesty, whats the point in being honest when people just throw it in your face, I give up, I'm back where I was, i might as well do the world a favour and do what I felt like doing back then

Dee74

Hi Sax

the thing is - if we return to what we know and drink the results will always be the same.
It's doing the different thing that gets us somewhere new

It's not easy, it's tough and it can take a little time, but you can rehabilitate your reputation - I did.

You can get back some self esteem too - I still have people who don;t really belive in me, but nowadays? it doesn't matter ...I know I'm doing everything I can to the best of my ability.

You have a lot to offer, a lot to live for and a lot to stay sober for Sax - don't let the ideas of a few make you forget that

D

Anna

That's the thing, Saxony - when you become comfortable with yourself, then others will change their opinion of you, and if they don't, then it doesn't matter. And, Dee is right about making the changes that are hard. Don't give up, Saxony!

Room1

Yeah, but when the one person that you have told everything to, and I mean everything, uses it against you, what do you do? I was over my past, but to have it thrown in my face, being told it's all my fault, i know it wasnt, but when the person that's supposed to love you uses the past to hurt you, ugh it's not fair, I spent 20 years learning it wasn't my fault, and in 20 mins he's destroyed all I worked on, maybe it was my fault, who knows, I just can't face dealing with it again

SSIL75

Maybe he was being mean. Maybe he was trying to hurt you? Maybe it's not your past at all but your present that needs to be examined.

Hang in there and keep your eye on the sober prize!

Dee74

I'm sorry this person let you down - but why is it your fault he used all that personal info against you?

Why would you let that destroy 20 years work?

I'd guess you have some thinking to do about the relationship Sax...

D

Room1

Well that's the thing, I know I did nought wrong,it's why I'm so confused/upset, I just never believed he could be so hurtfull, I love him, well I don't know now, I'm in shock I guess, just cant believe what he said, I can't see how I can ever forget it, which means what? In the morning we split up? I was suposed to be with him forever, we have a baby, but if he really thinks what he said ughh I just crying again now, sorry i know I'm not making sense, thanks though, I'll come back soon

Dee74

by 'some thinking to do' I didn't mean you had to make any snap decisions or life changing decisions right away - there's obviously a lot to consider and none of us are privy to it all

I hope things will look better in the morning Sax

D

SSIL75

I hope you get some sleep pet and things look a little clearer in the morning

eta: was he drunk?

Hevyn

Sax, Please do come back - there is true caring here. We all want to help. (You know I love you, my friend.)

sugarbear1

Today, I am responsible for my part(s) I played/did/said in my past, others are responsible for theirs, and if they can't see that, I will not remind them, nor is it my concern, I will treat them with the same compassion I treat an ill person with...I will also forgive them. This takes hard work on my part. I will also revisit my part and make myself a stronger and more understanding person. If I don't do these things, I will get sucked back into an alcoholic abyss...

I feel your pain and turmoil. Prayers to you

firestorm090

Motivation for dissing you can stem from a multitude of reasons.

A wound is a wound, regardless of who inflicts it upon us.

Our reaction is the only thing we can control.

There will always be those whom choose to try to harm us, through gossip and lies, but we must consider their motivation. Are they speaking out of jealousy, hatred, abuse, or any of the countless measures we use to motivate our behavior? Some people are just plain mean, and that goes against what most of us were taught as we grew up and when we encounter it, it knocks us on our backsides.

The best way to deal with dirt thrown at us is to get away from the source and hold our heads high as we walk away. To fight a bully is futile, for even if we win, we have lowered ourselves to the level of the bully. It doesn't matter what you did, love requires forgiveness, and if he can't forgive and forget, then he hasn't forgiven you at all.

That doesn't sound like love to me, not for today, next week, and definitely not forever.

Room1

I have no idea what to do this morning, he's asleep on the sofa, my mind is still reeling, I'm still in a state of shock I guess, I still can't believe the things he said to me, I can't see how we can come back from this, but what does that mean, we split? Yesterday morning I was pretty happy with my life, this morning I just want to cry, I'm not ready to talk about exactly what he said, but he can't love me or he wouldn't have thought it let alone say it I never in a million years saw this coming, I don't think I'll be able to forgive him, I don't know what to do and I realise none of you can help, I just don't know what to do

firestorm090

One thing's for sure, a drink won't help you clear your mind.

It's always true that it seems the ones we love can hurt us the most, and vice versa.

If you're unable to come back from this, then rest assured you can move on, and still stay sober and true to yourself.

To stab you with words is just as deadly as with a knife, for the pain is still as real.

I hope you're able to relax and let it go for a few hours so you can get some sleep. A good nights rest may help you see more tomorrow, so try to get some shuteye and hang in there.

Rusty Zipper

sax, good seeing you

and we dont have to let other have power over us hon

and forgiveness is huge

today is a new day,

and walk though it with your head up high