Questions for my AH
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 17
Questions for my AH
So planning my exit, but thought I would give him this as well. He'll probably tear it up.....but I can pray he'll read a little of it.
Does drinking alcohol make you happy?
Does waking up with the shakes, body aches, getting drunk, spending your money to buy more alcohol, living your life in an alcohol induced fog, give you so much satisfaction that you want to continue to do it the rest of your life?
Do you think your life is better when you are drunk?
Do you think you are more “Fun” when you drink?
Does the power that alcohol has over you make you happy?
Does drinking alcohol allow you to be all that you can be to yourself, your family, your friends?
Could you really quit drinking alcohol tomorrow if your life depended on it?
Do you plan to wait till your life depends on it?
Do you think you are getting healthier by drinking alcohol? Does alcohol have any effects on your liver, your kidneys? Is there a yellow tint to your skin?
Do you want to spend the rest of your life, isolated from your friends and family because you chose to drink to excess? Will this make you happy?
Are you proud of yourself when you are drunk?
Do you think you could have accomplished more in your lifetime if you had been drunker all the time?
Has drinking helped you to make the best decisions you have made in your life?
Do you think hiding bottles of alcohol makes it seem like you have drank less? Does this habit remind you of something that someone else in your life did when you were younger? Did you ever think this person had an alcohol problem?
Does drinking alcohol make you happy?
Does waking up with the shakes, body aches, getting drunk, spending your money to buy more alcohol, living your life in an alcohol induced fog, give you so much satisfaction that you want to continue to do it the rest of your life?
Do you think your life is better when you are drunk?
Do you think you are more “Fun” when you drink?
Does the power that alcohol has over you make you happy?
Does drinking alcohol allow you to be all that you can be to yourself, your family, your friends?
Could you really quit drinking alcohol tomorrow if your life depended on it?
Do you plan to wait till your life depends on it?
Do you think you are getting healthier by drinking alcohol? Does alcohol have any effects on your liver, your kidneys? Is there a yellow tint to your skin?
Do you want to spend the rest of your life, isolated from your friends and family because you chose to drink to excess? Will this make you happy?
Are you proud of yourself when you are drunk?
Do you think you could have accomplished more in your lifetime if you had been drunker all the time?
Has drinking helped you to make the best decisions you have made in your life?
Do you think hiding bottles of alcohol makes it seem like you have drank less? Does this habit remind you of something that someone else in your life did when you were younger? Did you ever think this person had an alcohol problem?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Columbia MO
Posts: 1,127
29 years, so glad you are getting out, you deserve to have a happy life!
I believe if this makes you feel better then you should go ahead and do it, but, keep a copy, he will probably tear up at least the first copy and maybe more. Denial is so strong in the alcoholic mind, you are right, and they know you are right, but after 29 years they may just refuse to admit it.
My mom has been drinking between 3 and 6 bottles of wine a day for 40 years, she will admit nothing, I have come to believe you could waterboard her and she still would not break and admit she has a drinking problem.
Please hang in there.
I believe if this makes you feel better then you should go ahead and do it, but, keep a copy, he will probably tear up at least the first copy and maybe more. Denial is so strong in the alcoholic mind, you are right, and they know you are right, but after 29 years they may just refuse to admit it.
My mom has been drinking between 3 and 6 bottles of wine a day for 40 years, she will admit nothing, I have come to believe you could waterboard her and she still would not break and admit she has a drinking problem.
Please hang in there.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 17
Thanks Willyblue dog, and stay strong yourself! The questions are probably more for me than AH....just wish a light bulb would come on somewhere as to how bad his disease has progressed.
He's done treatment in the past, he knows he's an alcoholic. I know some of the demons that live in his past that he doesn't want to face. He watched his mom die from kidney disease, still drinking vodka and popping pain killers until the end came when she was 52. He grew up without her, his parents divorced when he was 10. His father was a workaholic and my AH was left to fend for himself. His dad is not the emotional type, bury your feelings. So sad...my heart aches for the lost little boy in him.
But now he is a 50 year old man who's life is out of control because of his drinking. He has to come to terms with his demons on his own. I can only pray for him, remove myself as an enabler, and hope that someday he will want to get better.
I pray some day your mom will get better too. I still believe in miracles. It sounds like you have been able to come to terms with her disease and you are living your life for yourself in spite of her. Good for you!!
I do have a copy on my computer. Maybe someday he'll read it. He was up at 4am this morning in the shop. I went to check on him and he was drunk as a skunk. He was trying to make what I need for a work project I have for this Sunday. (A small part of many that I am creating) It was the only thing I told him I needed....although I do have a backup plan if he fails to do this 1 thing. Now he is sleeping, so maybe when he gets up, he'll be somewhat sober and will read it. He will be disappointed in himself as he has tried to make this 1 part all week and has not been able to succeed yet. Praying his bottom will reveal itself to him......but still going through with my plans for exiting.
He's done treatment in the past, he knows he's an alcoholic. I know some of the demons that live in his past that he doesn't want to face. He watched his mom die from kidney disease, still drinking vodka and popping pain killers until the end came when she was 52. He grew up without her, his parents divorced when he was 10. His father was a workaholic and my AH was left to fend for himself. His dad is not the emotional type, bury your feelings. So sad...my heart aches for the lost little boy in him.
But now he is a 50 year old man who's life is out of control because of his drinking. He has to come to terms with his demons on his own. I can only pray for him, remove myself as an enabler, and hope that someday he will want to get better.
I pray some day your mom will get better too. I still believe in miracles. It sounds like you have been able to come to terms with her disease and you are living your life for yourself in spite of her. Good for you!!
I do have a copy on my computer. Maybe someday he'll read it. He was up at 4am this morning in the shop. I went to check on him and he was drunk as a skunk. He was trying to make what I need for a work project I have for this Sunday. (A small part of many that I am creating) It was the only thing I told him I needed....although I do have a backup plan if he fails to do this 1 thing. Now he is sleeping, so maybe when he gets up, he'll be somewhat sober and will read it. He will be disappointed in himself as he has tried to make this 1 part all week and has not been able to succeed yet. Praying his bottom will reveal itself to him......but still going through with my plans for exiting.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
To be honest 29, if your AH is anything like my AW, you might as well go into the back yard and read your questions to a tree. Actually it might be better because you'll be outside and the tree won't get angry or defensive.
I moved out on my AW 5 months ago and it is the best thing I have ever done.
Good luck with your new future.
BTW, we were married for 36 years.
Your friend,
I moved out on my AW 5 months ago and it is the best thing I have ever done.
Good luck with your new future.
BTW, we were married for 36 years.
Your friend,
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
Almost anyone on the planet is going to get angry and defensive if you had them a confrontational list of their faults and/or a list that challenges every corner of their life. I think writing lists like that are therapeutic. Actually giving them to the person generally doesn't do much to better the situation. It gives the merry-go-round one giant spin is all.
What if you took that list and wrote corresponding 'I' statements. Not to be given to him either but just a way to work through it. I found I could not make such a list. I could make the 'you' statements but not the 'I' ones. I was that detached from my own self. When I was focused on getting my husband to 'see' I could avoid looking at myself. Not because I wanted to avoid my faults but I was afraid by the fact that I was so detached from who I was. It took a lot of mental effort to begin finding out.
I'm not sure I'm making much sense. It was such a relief to stop focusing on getting him to validate my experience and/or see what he was doing to his life. Letting that go allowed frustration and resentment to start draining away. I guess I just want to share that and I realize there are things to work through and your list is a good way to do that. I don't disagree with it - just want to give you a little peek at what comes after if you keep moving (and you are).
What if you took that list and wrote corresponding 'I' statements. Not to be given to him either but just a way to work through it. I found I could not make such a list. I could make the 'you' statements but not the 'I' ones. I was that detached from my own self. When I was focused on getting my husband to 'see' I could avoid looking at myself. Not because I wanted to avoid my faults but I was afraid by the fact that I was so detached from who I was. It took a lot of mental effort to begin finding out.
I'm not sure I'm making much sense. It was such a relief to stop focusing on getting him to validate my experience and/or see what he was doing to his life. Letting that go allowed frustration and resentment to start draining away. I guess I just want to share that and I realize there are things to work through and your list is a good way to do that. I don't disagree with it - just want to give you a little peek at what comes after if you keep moving (and you are).
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
Speaking as a recovering alcoholic/addict, who's sat on both sides of the fence (as an addict, as a loved one of addicts/alcoholics).. the first thing I think when I read this is, "You really don't know much about alcoholism, do you?". It's not your job to know and understand, and honestly it's impossible. I don't mean that in a rude or offensive way.. I just know from my own experience, none of these questions can be honestly considered by someone in active addiction. I knew it was killing me.. I didn't care. I knew it was killing my relationships.. I was more fearful of quitting than I was of anything else. Once I came to a place where the discomfort of continuing my addiction(s) was greater than my fear of addressing them, I could begin recovering.. I hope he finds his way in life that will result in that decision, but not all of us do.
I'm glad that you're on your way out.. I'm sure your serenity will be regained once you take the focus off of him, and place it where it's most important, on yourself.
I'm glad that you're on your way out.. I'm sure your serenity will be regained once you take the focus off of him, and place it where it's most important, on yourself.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
One of the "methods" I used to try and get my AH to do what I wanted him to do was shaming him. I'm not proud of this, but it was something I learned growing up in a dysfunctional family. Part of the reason I sought therapy was that I didn't like the person I was becoming. Alcoholics, whether they admit it or not, already loathe themselves plenty. Why I figured adding to that would help the situation was mine to figure out.
L
L
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 110
Wow. I have 3-4 letters here that I wrote my abf, desperately trying to get through, and hoping if he READS them, it will sink in. And.. knowing all the time..he could read the words, and have no clue as to what they mean (or he would blow it off, even if he understood).
I am just getting to the understanding of how deep the denial is, especially as to how the drinking has sabatoged any real communication.
Better off to speak here. At least people hear and understand.
I am just getting to the understanding of how deep the denial is, especially as to how the drinking has sabatoged any real communication.
Better off to speak here. At least people hear and understand.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: California
Posts: 693
29years, I've asked myself so many of these questions about my AH, and some of them directly to my AH. I've found that asking the alcoholic is as future as asking these questions of a beer bottle. If it helps you detach to deliver them to him, then so be it. But don't expect this to change anything. The more you push, the harder he'll cling to his addiction. Deep down inside, he does know he has a problem, but there is absolutely NOTHING you can do about it. Nothing. I know you know this.
I separated from my AH of 16 years five months ago, truly expecting this would shake him to his senses. It hasn't. He has chosen alcohol over his wife and four children. Recently I asked him directly "Are you really willing to give up your family in order to keep drinking?" and his response was "I like my vodka tonics in the evening." That was my answer, sad as it was. There is nothing I can do but take control of my own life. He is walking his own path, and now my work is to accept that and let go of him and of my dreams and fantasies of the life we might have had.
I separated from my AH of 16 years five months ago, truly expecting this would shake him to his senses. It hasn't. He has chosen alcohol over his wife and four children. Recently I asked him directly "Are you really willing to give up your family in order to keep drinking?" and his response was "I like my vodka tonics in the evening." That was my answer, sad as it was. There is nothing I can do but take control of my own life. He is walking his own path, and now my work is to accept that and let go of him and of my dreams and fantasies of the life we might have had.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 17
I understand what you are saying, and I've been making a list of my own faults to deal with. Yesterday AH was going on and on about how healthy he was, how much better his life will be when "you people" are out of here. How "you people" don't know nothing, etc, etc. (I'm now considered a "you people" ?)I didn't say anything in confrontation, just told him I wouldn't talk to him while he was yelling at me and if he wanted to have a conversation to talk to me when he was sober......which is never. And I left the room....(he followed a few times, but I just kept moving to another room)
So most of those questions were a questions to remarks he had made....how he's so healthy, he could quit tomorrow, I'll quit when you stop smoking, I built this house while I was drinking....etc, etc....No, maybe I don't know a lot about alcoholism, I've only been on the receiving BS side of it for 29 years. But I do know it has made my life hell and I don't want to be a part of it anymore.
So most of those questions were a questions to remarks he had made....how he's so healthy, he could quit tomorrow, I'll quit when you stop smoking, I built this house while I was drinking....etc, etc....No, maybe I don't know a lot about alcoholism, I've only been on the receiving BS side of it for 29 years. But I do know it has made my life hell and I don't want to be a part of it anymore.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 17
So AH has been in the bedroom all day. I never gave him the questions. But he did get the letter stating my intent on leaving and what I was going to do. I went in to get some of my things out of our bathroom and he didn't seem as drunk as much as lately...like he may not have drank any brandy today, only beer.
So he says.."I'm planning to quit drinking at the end of the month, as long as you stop smoking"
I do need to quit smoking, actually bought the book "The easy way to Stop Smoking" last week when I bought "Codependent No More". AH quit about a year and a half ago. Been on my case ever since. I've only read a couple of chapters, thought the other book was more important.
I know this is like making a deal with the devil. He's making me responsible for his recovery. Not sure what to do....
So he says.."I'm planning to quit drinking at the end of the month, as long as you stop smoking"
I do need to quit smoking, actually bought the book "The easy way to Stop Smoking" last week when I bought "Codependent No More". AH quit about a year and a half ago. Been on my case ever since. I've only read a couple of chapters, thought the other book was more important.
I know this is like making a deal with the devil. He's making me responsible for his recovery. Not sure what to do....
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Moving east
Posts: 217
It's all so very hard trying to figure out what to do. I quit smoking in 1991 and started again in 1995 when I met my AH. I quit again in July of 2008 and I've gained 30 lbs. I have told my AH of my intent to move next door to our garage apartment. I can't go anywhere else because I have animals and refuse to leave them. I also have written my AH a letter but haven't given it to him. I pray we both make the right decisions. There is a happy life out there for us, it's just a battle trying to get there.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
What to do to appease him...nothing. His recovery is up to him to resolve, this is totally out of your control to resolve.
He is trying to manipulate you, ignore him.
Keep reading Codependent No More, it will help you to learn how to detach and not enable.
He is trying to manipulate you, ignore him.
Keep reading Codependent No More, it will help you to learn how to detach and not enable.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 17
yeah, he's been manipulating me our entire marriage. No more playing a victim.
I have finished reading Co No More and have started back at the beginning again. I started underlining passages that I felt really applied to me...but I'll have to stop, I'm underlining everything..lol
Also back to reading The Stop smoking book....I do want to quit this nasty habit and it is an addiction as well......I need to remove addictions from my life......but I'll do it for me, not him.
I have finished reading Co No More and have started back at the beginning again. I started underlining passages that I felt really applied to me...but I'll have to stop, I'm underlining everything..lol
Also back to reading The Stop smoking book....I do want to quit this nasty habit and it is an addiction as well......I need to remove addictions from my life......but I'll do it for me, not him.
Today is a New Day
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,766
Originally Posted by 29yearsago 
Also back to reading The Stop smoking book....I do want to quit this nasty habit and it is an addiction as well......I need to remove addictions from my life......but I'll do it for me, not him.
Do it for yourself, not for him.
You're not responsible for his recovery. Ever.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 17
Is there some kind of booklet that I can send AH's father about alcoholism. I just got off the phone with him. He blames me that AH is still drinking and not working or helping with the business. Says he saw it a long time ago that AH and I weren't working together, and if we had, we wouldn't be in the position we are now. (AH's father doesn't drink)
If I had "nipped it in the bud" when AH started drinking after getting out of recovery 19 years ago then this wouldn't be happening now. I should have made sure it didn't get to this. I should call AA and get him in a treatment plan. I should do this, I should do that...his father said
I told AH's father, I don't buy it, I don't make him drink it. He's a grown man and he chooses to drink. But he don't get it, I'm married to AH, so it's my responsibility to make AH stop drinking. (he agrees with AH's plan of AH will quit drinking if I quit smoking)
AH's father wants to do an invention, my brothers, who love AH, also have been bugging me to do an invention. But I've read this could be more damaging if not done correctly. They don't have any experience with doing something like this and I seriously doubt they would take the time to plan it properly. When things go wrong, I'm usually the one to blame....
I'm on a merry go round and can't get off.
If I had "nipped it in the bud" when AH started drinking after getting out of recovery 19 years ago then this wouldn't be happening now. I should have made sure it didn't get to this. I should call AA and get him in a treatment plan. I should do this, I should do that...his father said
I told AH's father, I don't buy it, I don't make him drink it. He's a grown man and he chooses to drink. But he don't get it, I'm married to AH, so it's my responsibility to make AH stop drinking. (he agrees with AH's plan of AH will quit drinking if I quit smoking)
AH's father wants to do an invention, my brothers, who love AH, also have been bugging me to do an invention. But I've read this could be more damaging if not done correctly. They don't have any experience with doing something like this and I seriously doubt they would take the time to plan it properly. When things go wrong, I'm usually the one to blame....
I'm on a merry go round and can't get off.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by 29yearsago
Is there some kind of booklet that I can send AH's father about alcoholism. I just got off the phone with him. He blames me that AH is still drinking and not working or helping with the business. Says he saw it a long time ago that AH and I weren't working together, and if we had, we wouldn't be in the position we are now. (AH's father doesn't drink)
If I had "nipped it in the bud" when AH started drinking after getting out of recovery 19 years ago then this wouldn't be happening now. I should have made sure it didn't get to this. I should call AA and get him in a treatment plan. I should do this, I should do that...his father said
I told AH's father, I don't buy it, I don't make him drink it. He's a grown man and he chooses to drink. But he don't get it, I'm married to AH, so it's my responsibility to make AH stop drinking. (he agrees with AH's plan of AH will quit drinking if I quit smoking)
AH's father wants to do an invention, my brothers, who love AH, also have been bugging me to do an invention. But I've read this could be more damaging if not done correctly. They don't have any experience with doing something like this and I seriously doubt they would take the time to plan it properly. When things go wrong, I'm usually the one to blame....
I'm on a merry go round and can't get off.
If I had "nipped it in the bud" when AH started drinking after getting out of recovery 19 years ago then this wouldn't be happening now. I should have made sure it didn't get to this. I should call AA and get him in a treatment plan. I should do this, I should do that...his father said
I told AH's father, I don't buy it, I don't make him drink it. He's a grown man and he chooses to drink. But he don't get it, I'm married to AH, so it's my responsibility to make AH stop drinking. (he agrees with AH's plan of AH will quit drinking if I quit smoking)
AH's father wants to do an invention, my brothers, who love AH, also have been bugging me to do an invention. But I've read this could be more damaging if not done correctly. They don't have any experience with doing something like this and I seriously doubt they would take the time to plan it properly. When things go wrong, I'm usually the one to blame....
I'm on a merry go round and can't get off.
They had all these years to find their own recovery (not unlike my own parents) and chose not to.
Just as you are not responsible for AH's behaviors/attitudes, nor are you responsible for his father's.
Believe me, I've lived with untreated parents for decades now, and there are times I have to go completely no contact as they can be toxic.
Your AH has already been through treatment. He has the tools. He chooses not to use them.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 17
I spent the night listening to pod casts on the 12 steps. This morning I laid down to rest and thought about all I have learned. I asked God to help me. I am powerless and my life has become unmanageable.
The picture that came into my mind, was a burning home. I was outside watching the flames and felt the all consuming need to run into the house and save whoever was in there. But I wasn't prepared, I didn't have a helmet, or coat, or boots and as a result I badly hurt myself, even while saving others. I was to blame.
As the oldest of 6 children with a divorced mom and dad, I always felt it was my responsibility to keep our family together. It wasn't mine, and I shouldn't have owned it. I felt the only way to keep us together was to solve everyone's problems for them. As a result, I was constantly putting my family's needs ahead of my own and my husbands. I was always rescuing someone in my family so I could be the hero and I could punch up my low self esteem. I was proud, selfish. Made me feel good about myself. But by constantly rescuing my family, I also put unwanted burden on my husband.
I will work more on learning to not rescue those around me. It is not my responsibility to work out the problems of those I love. I have a nature of allowing myself to become consumed and this is very unhealthy. I will be responsible for only what I do. I will live my life one day at a time, one minute at a time if needed. Being mindful to what is mine, and what belongs to others to work out.
I had a conversation with AH this morning. I asked his forgiveness for making him a part of my need to rescue those around me. I also laid boundaries in that I will not be there to rescue in the future. His problems with alcohol, are his problems, and he has to work through them himself. I also spoke to my mom and told her that she had placed a lot of responsibilities on me,(and therefore my husband) that I rescued her out of and I will no longer be doing that. Of course, I also told her it wasn't her fault. She didn't twist my arm. I took it on, so I have to own to that and the problems that I have as a result of it.
AH seems sober again this morning. He says he is set on quitting drinking on the 1st. Whether he does or not, I will continue to learn all I can to work the 12 steps myself. Go to Al-anon, work my own problems and not those of others. I asked mom if she wanted to go with me but immediately took it back....(can't rescue her) if she decides to go, it has to be her decision for reasons of her own.
I feel like the weight on my shoulders is not as heavy as it has been all week. Some of the fog and depression is lifting. I have to give everything to God. My life is unmanageable and only he can help me through this.
Thank you to everyone that has written on my posts. I have only just opened the door, I have a long way to go. Thank you for being there for me. I will let you know how things progress.
The picture that came into my mind, was a burning home. I was outside watching the flames and felt the all consuming need to run into the house and save whoever was in there. But I wasn't prepared, I didn't have a helmet, or coat, or boots and as a result I badly hurt myself, even while saving others. I was to blame.
As the oldest of 6 children with a divorced mom and dad, I always felt it was my responsibility to keep our family together. It wasn't mine, and I shouldn't have owned it. I felt the only way to keep us together was to solve everyone's problems for them. As a result, I was constantly putting my family's needs ahead of my own and my husbands. I was always rescuing someone in my family so I could be the hero and I could punch up my low self esteem. I was proud, selfish. Made me feel good about myself. But by constantly rescuing my family, I also put unwanted burden on my husband.
I will work more on learning to not rescue those around me. It is not my responsibility to work out the problems of those I love. I have a nature of allowing myself to become consumed and this is very unhealthy. I will be responsible for only what I do. I will live my life one day at a time, one minute at a time if needed. Being mindful to what is mine, and what belongs to others to work out.
I had a conversation with AH this morning. I asked his forgiveness for making him a part of my need to rescue those around me. I also laid boundaries in that I will not be there to rescue in the future. His problems with alcohol, are his problems, and he has to work through them himself. I also spoke to my mom and told her that she had placed a lot of responsibilities on me,(and therefore my husband) that I rescued her out of and I will no longer be doing that. Of course, I also told her it wasn't her fault. She didn't twist my arm. I took it on, so I have to own to that and the problems that I have as a result of it.
AH seems sober again this morning. He says he is set on quitting drinking on the 1st. Whether he does or not, I will continue to learn all I can to work the 12 steps myself. Go to Al-anon, work my own problems and not those of others. I asked mom if she wanted to go with me but immediately took it back....(can't rescue her) if she decides to go, it has to be her decision for reasons of her own.
I feel like the weight on my shoulders is not as heavy as it has been all week. Some of the fog and depression is lifting. I have to give everything to God. My life is unmanageable and only he can help me through this.
Thank you to everyone that has written on my posts. I have only just opened the door, I have a long way to go. Thank you for being there for me. I will let you know how things progress.
Journey To Me
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Kyle, Texas
Posts: 395
Originally Posted by 29yearsago
The picture that came into my mind, was a burning home. I was outside watching the flames and felt the all consuming need to run into the house and save whoever was in there. But I wasn't prepared, I didn't have a helmet, or coat, or boots and as a result I badly hurt myself, even while saving others. I was to blame.
I will work more on learning to not rescue those around me. It is not my responsibility to work out the problems of those I love. I have a nature of allowing myself to become consumed and this is very unhealthy. I will be responsible for only what I do. I will live my life one day at a time, one minute at a time if needed. Being mindful to what is mine, and what belongs to others to work out.
I feel like the weight on my shoulders is not as heavy as it has been all week. Some of the fog and depression is lifting. I have to give everything to God. My life is unmanageable and only he can help me through this.
I will work more on learning to not rescue those around me. It is not my responsibility to work out the problems of those I love. I have a nature of allowing myself to become consumed and this is very unhealthy. I will be responsible for only what I do. I will live my life one day at a time, one minute at a time if needed. Being mindful to what is mine, and what belongs to others to work out.
I feel like the weight on my shoulders is not as heavy as it has been all week. Some of the fog and depression is lifting. I have to give everything to God. My life is unmanageable and only he can help me through this.
Keep up the good work.
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