Six Months of Sobriety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 65
Six Months of Sobriety
Good morning all,
Haven't posted in a while but have been lurking and really enjoy this site, every time I come on I read something that helps keep me sober.
My last drink was on March 20, so I marked six months of sobriety yesterday. How do I feel? For the most part, uncomfortable. I'm 25 and all of my close friends, who I grew up with, are heavy drinkers, and now that I don't drink anymore, there is definitely a loss of that feeling of camaraderie we used to have getting drunk together. However, I think I am also doing a lot of romanticizing the past, and overlooking the negative consequences of my heavy drinking: the hangovers, depression, embarrasment at my actions.
Denial is a big problem for me. I just don't want to be an alcoholic. I want to be "normal". Pretty standard stuff. I want to "enjoy my 20's". The truth is that I don't really miss drinking, but I hate standing out, hate answering the inevitable questions about why I don't drink. So I need to look at theses insecurities, why I feel so much need to fit in and do what others around me are doing instead of what is best for me.
Still have a lot of work to do, and this is not easy, but I'm proud of myself for the six months and wanted to share a little.
Haven't posted in a while but have been lurking and really enjoy this site, every time I come on I read something that helps keep me sober.
My last drink was on March 20, so I marked six months of sobriety yesterday. How do I feel? For the most part, uncomfortable. I'm 25 and all of my close friends, who I grew up with, are heavy drinkers, and now that I don't drink anymore, there is definitely a loss of that feeling of camaraderie we used to have getting drunk together. However, I think I am also doing a lot of romanticizing the past, and overlooking the negative consequences of my heavy drinking: the hangovers, depression, embarrasment at my actions.
Denial is a big problem for me. I just don't want to be an alcoholic. I want to be "normal". Pretty standard stuff. I want to "enjoy my 20's". The truth is that I don't really miss drinking, but I hate standing out, hate answering the inevitable questions about why I don't drink. So I need to look at theses insecurities, why I feel so much need to fit in and do what others around me are doing instead of what is best for me.
Still have a lot of work to do, and this is not easy, but I'm proud of myself for the six months and wanted to share a little.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Corinth, TX
Posts: 490
Thank you so much for sharing. I am only six weeks sober, and in my 40's, not my 20's, but other than that you basically posted exactly how I feel, too. All of my friends are heavy drinkers, I feel isolated and alone and I miss the "good old days" even though most of the time they were not so good. I'm making an effort to make new sober friends and to invite my old friends to do things with me that have as little chance of being a drinking occasion as possible. I wish you all the best and think it's so great you recognized your problem early. The next 20 years of drinking just gets to be a living nightmare.
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
When I first quit drinking in my 20s, I followed my rehab instructions and AA steps fairly well. One of the things that I did was change my circle of friends. Amazingly, even though I was a college student at a party school, I was able to tell true friends from party acquaintances pretty quick. My true friends, drinkers or not, are still in my life today, at age 48, and they are not very small in number.
Now, I am only 47 days sober. After a year and a half, while in college still, I started smoking a little pot, and then drinking beer, and so on. I have contemplated for 28 yrs whether I was an alcoholic, and needed to stop drinking. Now, I really don't have to choose. I know that drinking has caused me to behave in such self-destructive ways that it has no room in my life. I have a lifetime - 34 years of drinking - of experiences to draw upon to remind me of that. Does it matter whether I'm an alcoholic or not? Nope. All that matters is that I choose not to drink, because I know what happens in my mind and to my soul when I do. I become a different person, entirely.
Anyway, I wish I had those 26.5 yrs back. I was often lonely then, and forlorn that I was not out with my friends drinking it up and having a good time. But, if I didn't now have that year and a half to draw upon as a growth experience in my life, I doubt I'd be sober today. I'd probably be dead.
Now, I am only 47 days sober. After a year and a half, while in college still, I started smoking a little pot, and then drinking beer, and so on. I have contemplated for 28 yrs whether I was an alcoholic, and needed to stop drinking. Now, I really don't have to choose. I know that drinking has caused me to behave in such self-destructive ways that it has no room in my life. I have a lifetime - 34 years of drinking - of experiences to draw upon to remind me of that. Does it matter whether I'm an alcoholic or not? Nope. All that matters is that I choose not to drink, because I know what happens in my mind and to my soul when I do. I become a different person, entirely.
Anyway, I wish I had those 26.5 yrs back. I was often lonely then, and forlorn that I was not out with my friends drinking it up and having a good time. But, if I didn't now have that year and a half to draw upon as a growth experience in my life, I doubt I'd be sober today. I'd probably be dead.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Congrats on your sober six months.
It will take some changes within yourself to be comfortable in your sober skin. It can be hard being with friends who drink, especially if they're not very understanding of why you quit. I was a home alone drinker, but of my friends who drank with others (socially) and so on, they had to change their lifestyle since it wasn't helping their sobriety.
It will take some changes within yourself to be comfortable in your sober skin. It can be hard being with friends who drink, especially if they're not very understanding of why you quit. I was a home alone drinker, but of my friends who drank with others (socially) and so on, they had to change their lifestyle since it wasn't helping their sobriety.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Congratulations Comanche
I spent a lot of years trying to be normal and trying to fit in...after 20 years of struggle I finally got to a point where I realise now normal is what I choose it to be...after all there's not another me around...
I hope you can get to a place of peace on this too
Like Lofty said all that matters is that we don't drink, because we know what happens in mind and soul when we do.
D
I spent a lot of years trying to be normal and trying to fit in...after 20 years of struggle I finally got to a point where I realise now normal is what I choose it to be...after all there's not another me around...
I hope you can get to a place of peace on this too
Like Lofty said all that matters is that we don't drink, because we know what happens in mind and soul when we do.
D
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
