Starting Over Wishlist... Things to look forward to!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 139
Starting Over Wishlist... Things to look forward to!
This is my wishlist for when I move out.
#1. DEBT FREE!
I am going to stay with family for at least a year, and I want to pay off ALL of my debts and start completely OVER.
#2. MY OWN PLACE
A place of my own, be it an apartment, duplex, condo, town house, or an actual house. One I can decorate however I want... and have nice things that don't get broken. Where nobody drinks the milk out of the carton or spills booze all over the carpet. Where, God willing, I will actually get my deposit back after I leave!
#3. NEW CLOTHES AND SHOES
A whole new wardrobe of clothes and shoes that make me feel GREAT about myself, and show that I do have fashion sense beyond t-shirts, jeans and flip-flops!
#4. CAT
A furry companion pet for my dog, my son and I.
#5. NEW CAR
A Honda... probably the CR-V or the Insight. Something with good gas mileage and lots of room.
What is/was on your wishlist?
#1. DEBT FREE!
I am going to stay with family for at least a year, and I want to pay off ALL of my debts and start completely OVER.
#2. MY OWN PLACE
A place of my own, be it an apartment, duplex, condo, town house, or an actual house. One I can decorate however I want... and have nice things that don't get broken. Where nobody drinks the milk out of the carton or spills booze all over the carpet. Where, God willing, I will actually get my deposit back after I leave!
#3. NEW CLOTHES AND SHOES
A whole new wardrobe of clothes and shoes that make me feel GREAT about myself, and show that I do have fashion sense beyond t-shirts, jeans and flip-flops!
#4. CAT
A furry companion pet for my dog, my son and I.
#5. NEW CAR
A Honda... probably the CR-V or the Insight. Something with good gas mileage and lots of room.
What is/was on your wishlist?
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
That's great! Sounds so positive!!! I'm glad you have a plan and are working it!
My xH was not an A (although became one after the D?).....but the first two on your list were high priorities on mine. I finally managed to become debt free last year!!!
My xH was not an A (although became one after the D?).....but the first two on your list were high priorities on mine. I finally managed to become debt free last year!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,334
To continue in 12 step recovery and growth and maybe my own house in 1 1/2 years. To continue on my serenity path and service. Continue to enjoy my wonderful friends and pets (including new cat) who was feral and at first didn't even know what a toy was. SPCA gave her shots and getting fixed free- all I had to do was humanely trap her that I did. She is discovering love and toys and is so much fun to watch. She doesn't trust me yet but is snuggling up to my 7 yr. old cats. I just love our recovery tools (including SR). Letting go and letting God......letting go of XAH...and that craziness and chaos and control......a sponser led me to meditation and yoga. Sold my house- saving for a new one if I find one I like- but in the mean time rent from my childhood best friend in her cute garden apt. Best friend/ no drama/ no fear.......AAAAAAHHHHHHH ! can stay as long as I want....even forever- if I decide against buying.......
Today is a New Day
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,766
1. Debt Free
I am still working on this one, but I'm making good progress!
2. A Place That's Mine
I kept the apartment (it was in my name only), but he was the one who insisted on decorating it. I'm keeping the furniture - too expensive to replace, anyway, but I do like it, especially the living room (he hated the living room furniture - ha!) so I'm okay with that. I pulled down most of his things off the wall, only leaving up the few that I liked. I bought more bookshelves, and they're full of books already, which feels great. I've been considering painting a few walls, or buying some actual paintings for the wall, but I am in no rush.
3. Someone At Home Who Loves When I'm There...
I now have two kittens. This was a big decision for me, because XABF hated cats, so adopting them meant that I was truly done and over the relationship. I adopted Peaches around the end of January, and Cream a few months ago. I wouldn't trade them in for anything.
4. A Life of My Own. With Friends. Where I Do Things That I Want to Do!
I've got Al-Anon now, and I have a couple new friends. I do need to call some of my high school/college friends soon, it's been awhile since I've talked to any of them, but I have been reconnecting with them and visiting which is something I couldn't do with XABF.
I've also been staying home more often, because with him we always had to be running off somewhere, but I love my apartment, and it's nice to relax at home sometimes.
5. Take Care of My Health / Start Some Relaxing Hobbies
I let this slip a lot over the past few years. I now actually have a doctor and an eye doctor in the local area, finally, and I've only lived in this general vicinity for what? Five years? Ha!
Next up is the dentist - I need to start flossing first, though...
I'm also taking a Yoga class, with my sponsor, once a week. And trying to take up some healthy hobbies that help me relax. I've been gardening on the balcony - I love my climbing roses <3 - and now I'm finally redoing the fish tank. It's a small 10 gallon, XABF picked it out for the Betta fish we used to have, but I've always loved keeping fish (it was my hobby, not his), so I'm keeping the tank. I used to always keep tropical, but now I'm thinking maybe I'll try something different, and start a shrimp tank. There are some gorgeous breeds of shrimp out there, and I can keep a lot more shrimp than I can fish in a 10 gallon tank.
I also need to start writing again... I guess I'm not ready for that yet, though, but eventually I will be.
6. New Car
The old car was dying, so I needed a new one anyway, but I decided to get something brand new instead. I'm allowed to have nice things.
So I bought a 2010 Toyota Corolla, brand new from the dealership. I intend to drive this car for the next 10-15 years, so I'll certainly get my money's worth.
I am still working on this one, but I'm making good progress!
2. A Place That's Mine
I kept the apartment (it was in my name only), but he was the one who insisted on decorating it. I'm keeping the furniture - too expensive to replace, anyway, but I do like it, especially the living room (he hated the living room furniture - ha!) so I'm okay with that. I pulled down most of his things off the wall, only leaving up the few that I liked. I bought more bookshelves, and they're full of books already, which feels great. I've been considering painting a few walls, or buying some actual paintings for the wall, but I am in no rush.
3. Someone At Home Who Loves When I'm There...
I now have two kittens. This was a big decision for me, because XABF hated cats, so adopting them meant that I was truly done and over the relationship. I adopted Peaches around the end of January, and Cream a few months ago. I wouldn't trade them in for anything.
4. A Life of My Own. With Friends. Where I Do Things That I Want to Do!
I've got Al-Anon now, and I have a couple new friends. I do need to call some of my high school/college friends soon, it's been awhile since I've talked to any of them, but I have been reconnecting with them and visiting which is something I couldn't do with XABF.
I've also been staying home more often, because with him we always had to be running off somewhere, but I love my apartment, and it's nice to relax at home sometimes.
5. Take Care of My Health / Start Some Relaxing Hobbies
I let this slip a lot over the past few years. I now actually have a doctor and an eye doctor in the local area, finally, and I've only lived in this general vicinity for what? Five years? Ha!
Next up is the dentist - I need to start flossing first, though...
I'm also taking a Yoga class, with my sponsor, once a week. And trying to take up some healthy hobbies that help me relax. I've been gardening on the balcony - I love my climbing roses <3 - and now I'm finally redoing the fish tank. It's a small 10 gallon, XABF picked it out for the Betta fish we used to have, but I've always loved keeping fish (it was my hobby, not his), so I'm keeping the tank. I used to always keep tropical, but now I'm thinking maybe I'll try something different, and start a shrimp tank. There are some gorgeous breeds of shrimp out there, and I can keep a lot more shrimp than I can fish in a 10 gallon tank.
I also need to start writing again... I guess I'm not ready for that yet, though, but eventually I will be.
6. New Car
The old car was dying, so I needed a new one anyway, but I decided to get something brand new instead. I'm allowed to have nice things.
So I bought a 2010 Toyota Corolla, brand new from the dealership. I intend to drive this car for the next 10-15 years, so I'll certainly get my money's worth.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Ahhh the kitties are so cute, StarCat!
1. I want to finish my master's program. Only two more classes and a thesis to go....
2. I want to find a way to put kid#1 through college as cheaply as possible. Getting divorce will help qualifying for grants and scholarships.
3. I want to chip away at my own debt.
4. I plan to reno all three baths in this little house I just bought. Doing it on a shoestring budget means getting really creative! I just unearthed a partially burned 1800's dry sink that I am going to refinish (covering the burned top with tile) and put a vessel sink on it for the powder room. And I will keep haunting Salvation Army, Goodwill, and Craigslist for cabinets/dressers I can convert.
5. I am going to hold my head up high and feel good about the last four years - and do the things I know to do to better myself and now worry about what anyone else does from here on out.
Great thread - thanks for posting! So positive!
~T
1. I want to finish my master's program. Only two more classes and a thesis to go....
2. I want to find a way to put kid#1 through college as cheaply as possible. Getting divorce will help qualifying for grants and scholarships.
3. I want to chip away at my own debt.
4. I plan to reno all three baths in this little house I just bought. Doing it on a shoestring budget means getting really creative! I just unearthed a partially burned 1800's dry sink that I am going to refinish (covering the burned top with tile) and put a vessel sink on it for the powder room. And I will keep haunting Salvation Army, Goodwill, and Craigslist for cabinets/dressers I can convert.
5. I am going to hold my head up high and feel good about the last four years - and do the things I know to do to better myself and now worry about what anyone else does from here on out.
Great thread - thanks for posting! So positive!
~T
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Cagedbird...love your list, so positive! I recently bought a Honda CRV as my second vehicle, love it, it is the 5th one that I have owned.
Star Cat...your babies are sooo cute, thanks for sharing! Your list sounds like a work in progress, have fun completing it.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I started over a few years ago, however, the first thinkg on my list was to relearn how to love myself. I had lost me along the way, now I am found, I am once again whole!
Great post, thank you!
Star Cat...your babies are sooo cute, thanks for sharing! Your list sounds like a work in progress, have fun completing it.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I started over a few years ago, however, the first thinkg on my list was to relearn how to love myself. I had lost me along the way, now I am found, I am once again whole!
Great post, thank you!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: RI
Posts: 177
All wonderful goals! for me its to learn how to feel confident again. i've gained so much weight from all of this (i eat when stressed) so i lost my sexy! but i'm going to get it back. once i hit that gym!!
then i'm also going to try and pay down my own personal debt. which is somewhere around $4000. not too bad. my car will be paid off in December!!! thank god!
a big one for me is to change my lifestyle. no more going to bars. no more staying out late during the week. i drink socially...maybe once a week. but i've been in this group of people (who i love) that have a lifestyle that i dont' want for myself any longer. so working on keeping them in my life, at a distance. that is harder than it sounds.
then i'm also going to try and pay down my own personal debt. which is somewhere around $4000. not too bad. my car will be paid off in December!!! thank god!
a big one for me is to change my lifestyle. no more going to bars. no more staying out late during the week. i drink socially...maybe once a week. but i've been in this group of people (who i love) that have a lifestyle that i dont' want for myself any longer. so working on keeping them in my life, at a distance. that is harder than it sounds.
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