LifeIsCake

Good evening all. I am 320 days sober and at first I didn't notice that I had superstitions about my sobriety. My sponsor asked me a question that made me start thinking about it. I guess the two biggest ones for me is that I only count my sobriety in days and I don't collect chips during AA meetings. I have a hard time saying "Forever" to anything, not just my sobriety hence the reason I count only in days. The chip thing I'm not sure I've figured out yet.

Anyway, I'm just curious if any others have any kind of superstitions as well.

Any help would really be appreciated.
J

sugarbear1

Sounds like you have reservations, not superstitions. I collect chips not for me, but to show others they can do it, too. When I had reservations, I did what you are doing. I reserved my right to go back out & drink. It took me 25 years of in & out of aa to get to today, 34 days. I've had dry times in the past, today I have no reservations to go back out.

Dee74

hmmm - I can't say I do, LifeIsCake.
Interesting to see the responses though

D

ReadyAndAble

I've had bad luck with drinking, that's for sure.

sugarbear1

Something to consider; have you gotten through the steps yet? Is your sponsor knowledgeable with Back to Basics?


Meanwhile, tonight I thought about getting "a good buzz on" and I thought it through. I don't need to glorify it anymore, I can't go there in reality, it really is horrible to manage.

Pick up a chip to show the newcomer it works. Share honestly with the group, see what happens. And work the steps!

EmeraldRose

First...congratulations on your 320 days. Which is close to a year and an awesome feat.

It doesn't sound like a superstition as much as it does a form of fear or new habit. Superstition is believing that an action or object determines the result or the outcome of a situation.
It sounds more like you have a fear of total commitment.
If you never say forever and you don't take a chip then you aren't commited in your mind.
BUT you truly are and you need to change your faith in yourself.
I feel fear and doubt -but after so so many months of successful sobriety I think you are underestimating yourself and need to prove to yourself (and others) that you are in this for the longhaul.

SomethingBetter

I count days only because it's just as easy, I use the 12 step companion on my phone and it shows the days, months etc...

It's been 211 days! or exactly 7 Months today! wow thats strange, just noticed that...

That said, I am a little superstitious…

If I find a penny on heads, that's good luck, hey I found money why shouldn’t it be? I found an AA coin while pumping gas one day, and yes that’s good luck!

If a black cat crosses my path that’s bad luck (for the cat).

I somehow have a way to counter all the bad luck or I don’t believe it, like walking under a ladder they say is bad luck (maybe for the guy on the ladder? Makes since), I avoid doing that but if I can’t, I can’t, and I don’t think its bad luck.

Optimistic thinking I guess, I don’t believe in ****** or anything like that but if I can change my outlook for the better then why not, it’s not hurting anything, I believe in fortuity.

When it comes to my sobriety, I’ve never really thought about superstitions, but finding SR was definitely good luck!

topspin

Life is Cake,
I tend to be pretty superstitious, but with no real conviction.

Totally agree with Something Better;

...When it comes to my sobriety, I’ve never really thought about superstitions, but finding SR was definitely good luck!

I counted days, months early on, but after a year, ....it started to make less sense.
Being free, .....totally free of relating myself as a drinker seems wrong (to me now)

I read somewhere that "counting time is for prisoners"
I'm working on being totally free.

Whatever works best for sobriety is the most important thing.
Sounds like you're headed forward in a good way.

Congrats !!

EmeraldRose

If I find a penny I pick it up regardless if its heads or tails...a penny saved is a penny earned. LOL Good Luck is merely chance meeting opportunity. Good Luck is also a disguise for something you've earned. We underestimate ourselves.
But I also believe in the energy and positivity to produce good things to happen -call it luck or not. I call it positive energy.

I also think however you need to form recovery in your head so it works is good. There is no wrong way so if you want to carry a rabbit foot or a 4 leaf clover...as long as you aren't drinking -it's working!

EmeraldRose

Oh and about the ladder...technically its not 'bad luck' but a ladder leaning against a wall forms a triangle like the Holy Trinity. Going through the sacred triangle area is was 'punishable offense'. Crossing through the trinity area may weaken the powers of the gods and unleash the powers of evil spirits.
But if you don't believe in the Holy Trinity I guess it doesn't matter.

amandah09

cant say I do.

Threshold

I don't like picking up chips or counting days. It's not a superstition as much as it is me focusing on what I am leaving behind, rather than what I am gaining.

I think for most people it's the other way round, they are celebrating how much clean time they are wracking up, they see themselves getting closer and closer to something precious.

I am still twisted up inside, when I count days, and see how far I am from the old familiar, if rocky and dangerous, shore. Heck I don't know if there is land out there...if I get in deep water, what will I do? I get panicky when I count days. When I pick up a chip, I feel like the pressure is on, everyone is watching me, what if I let them down. I stop focusing on me and doing my work, and start worrying over being a "success" as far as clean time goes.

When I first got into NA, I wanted to fit in. I wanted to use the slogans, and get the chips, and talk the talk. I wanted it really badly. But I had no idea what the program really was, and what working the steps really meant. I thought if I looked the part, I must be doing something right.

I went to three meetings a day sometimes, but I felt my sobriety slipping away. I talked the talk, but I wanted to use all the time. The day or two before I was due to pick up a chip, I'd start freaking out. I used, and someone said, just pick up another white chip...for what? So everyone could pat me on the back and welcome me back, etc etc. not because in my mind I was really committed.

I stopped picking up chips and counting days. I started working the program and not spending time gossiping after the meeting and trying to hang out with the cool people. I laid down the drama.

I had been trying to manipulate my NA group into being a family that would take care of me. Oh poor me, can't stay clean, cheer me on, rah rah rah. That was MY game.

There is nothing wrong with counting clean time or picking up chips, and showing the newcomer that we DO recover. Like so many things, I found a way to make it stupid.