This may seem stupid, but....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: madison, connecticut
Posts: 21
This may seem stupid, but....
Does anyone else question if someone is truely alcoholic?
I believe my husband (soon to be ex-husband) is an alcoholic. He constantly makes me question this, though. At it's worse he drank very often. I would find bottles of Yukon Jack hidden everywhere (under furniture, in drawers, under seats of the car, etc.) Then about three years ago he was diagnosed with hepatitis C. He was told by his doctor that he had to quit drinking. To my surprise he did. Things were wonderful. I fell back in love with him all over again. I let him know then, that I would never stay with him as a drinker again. Unfortunately after about 9 months he started drinking again. At first it was barely detectable, but within a couple of months, he was drinking to the point of stumbling every day off. I left him after a few months of this. We are now living separately and getting divorced. I know he is drinking, but surprisingly it doesn't seem to be as much as I would have expected. He insists that he can control it. That he has seen the "light". He is so good at making me doubt myself. He vows his love to me and says he wants me back. He knows I won't consider it as long as he is drinking at all. Still, he continues to drink. I don't know. Why is he so good at making me question what I know to be true?? Anyone else experience this?
I believe my husband (soon to be ex-husband) is an alcoholic. He constantly makes me question this, though. At it's worse he drank very often. I would find bottles of Yukon Jack hidden everywhere (under furniture, in drawers, under seats of the car, etc.) Then about three years ago he was diagnosed with hepatitis C. He was told by his doctor that he had to quit drinking. To my surprise he did. Things were wonderful. I fell back in love with him all over again. I let him know then, that I would never stay with him as a drinker again. Unfortunately after about 9 months he started drinking again. At first it was barely detectable, but within a couple of months, he was drinking to the point of stumbling every day off. I left him after a few months of this. We are now living separately and getting divorced. I know he is drinking, but surprisingly it doesn't seem to be as much as I would have expected. He insists that he can control it. That he has seen the "light". He is so good at making me doubt myself. He vows his love to me and says he wants me back. He knows I won't consider it as long as he is drinking at all. Still, he continues to drink. I don't know. Why is he so good at making me question what I know to be true?? Anyone else experience this?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: California
Posts: 329
Hello our2jz,
The game of DENIAL! This is a very hard game to figure out. The alcoholic denys he has a problem with drinking and then we find ourselves questioning if they have a problem too sometimes. They tell us that they can stop and they don't or they hide it so we will not think they are drinking but we know they are. Just because he opens his beer outside or in the garage he thinks no one will hear. And the fact that a doctor told your husband that he should not drink you would think would be enough. But NO, he denies that he has a health problem in the end and returns to the demon of alcohol. It is a game that no one wins!!
You can learn to not play and heal though. He will tell you what he knows you want to hear. It is so hard when you love someone to see them destroy themselves. DON'T let it destroy you! Stay strong!!
Hugs and prayers,
matters
The game of DENIAL! This is a very hard game to figure out. The alcoholic denys he has a problem with drinking and then we find ourselves questioning if they have a problem too sometimes. They tell us that they can stop and they don't or they hide it so we will not think they are drinking but we know they are. Just because he opens his beer outside or in the garage he thinks no one will hear. And the fact that a doctor told your husband that he should not drink you would think would be enough. But NO, he denies that he has a health problem in the end and returns to the demon of alcohol. It is a game that no one wins!!
You can learn to not play and heal though. He will tell you what he knows you want to hear. It is so hard when you love someone to see them destroy themselves. DON'T let it destroy you! Stay strong!!
Hugs and prayers,
matters
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
After reading your post
I don't doubt for a minute that he's an alcoholic. I know it's hard to accept when it's someone you love, but accept it we must... in order to get on with our own lives. He wants to convince you that he can "handle it" because he so desperately wants to believe that himself. Look at what's real and deal with it accordingly.
Peace,
Gabe
Peace,
Gabe
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