samneedshelp

i need help and don't know how to start. i started drinking wine about five years ago to help me sleep. i buy wine when i am out on errands , leave it in my car until i can get it in to the house unnoticed, hide the wine in my room, and sip on it all day. i don't get drunk or ever drive when i drink. at night i fill my glass several times. i feel this is out of hand now and i want to stop. i don't know if i should just quit cold turkey or try cutting down on my daily intake. i drink a 5 liter box of wine every four to six days. no one in my family has a clue to my problem and i will not tell them. by the way, i am female and my name is sam.

Anna

Hi Sam,

Welcome and I'm glad you recognize that you have a drinking problem.

It's always a good idea to talk to your dr before stopping drinking because it can be dangerous. As far as cutting down, that's really, really hard for an alcoholic to do, and I think most of us have tried it, at some point.

samneedshelp

i can't talk to my doctor. i just can't. and i won't. so what now...

ReadyAndAble

Well, are you willing to quit drinking? I don't mean for a week or a month—I mean are you willing to become a non-drinker? Because I spent years trying to cut down, but it never worked...

Glad you found SR, sam. Hanging out here, reading a lot about others' experiences, and posting about my own has been a huge help to me.

JellyBabyBoo

Hi Sam, Ready asks a great question. I too was a huge wine drinker. Starting with a glass to get through the long afternoon, then while making dinner, then with dinner, and after dinner until I would finally pass out. I tried "cutting back" by not drinking on M,T and Th and only allowing myself 2-3 glasses on the other days. I was "successful" at maintaining my plan, problem was, I found myself OBSESSING about alcohol all day every day. Finally I just decided to give myself a break from all things alcohol and just stopped drinking and obsessing about booze. I didn't put a time limit on it, nor did I put any pressure on myself to "succeed" at anything. It was just a break. I have now been on "break" for 31 days! If I can do it you can too. I drank just like you, and I had the same feelings you are experiencing now. I had so many doubts. Just give yourself a "break" and see how it goes.

Freedom1990

Thanks for the inspirational post JBB, and congrats on your sober time!

samwitch

I know I'm hijacking this thread, but the above is so me. Except I wasn't as successful as maintaining as you were. I love this idea of the giving yourself a break--I'm going to incorporate this into my plan as well--I'm only on day 2 so to hear you're on day 31 with this is very inspiring.

And to the OP--you can do it, you absolutely can.

samneedshelp

i find myself obsessing on when i will be able to get to the store and buy more wine. i'm sure everyone knows the tricks, i alternate where i buy the wine so it doesn't look like i have a problem. do i just get up one morning and say this is it, i quit? i'm obsessing now about getting to the store and buy more and i just started a new box of wine yesterday...i can't ask anyone i know for help, thats why i came here. what do i do .

suki44883

What you do is you stop drinking. See your doctor, or a doctor and tell them what's going on. They can help you with meds to get you through the worst of the withdrawals. Nothing is going to change until you take that first step, and that is to stop drinking.

SomethingBetter

Just stop and see how your body reacts, some of us including myself stopped without medical issues, but if you start to feel that you need help get help, if not sleeping is the issue try other things instead of drinking.

I wish you the best

prayforstrength

Hi Sam! You can do this. I am new to sobriety too. The obsessions/voices/cravings/urges were very difficult in the beginning - now at day 42 they are completely gone.

Everyone is different I know but the point is it does get better and easier with time. Sober feels so very good I can't even put it into words.

If you are determined you will succeed. If it something you truly want it is certainly worth working for. All the best to you!!

samneedshelp

ok, i have appreciated all the posts i have gotten today. i have decided to stop drinking wine after the box i have is done with. that may sound stupid to some of you, but at least i've decided not to go out today and buy more. i know i can do this.

suki44883

It doesn't sound stupid, but it does sound like an excuse I've used and probably most others here have used in the past, too. It's easy to say I'll stop tomorrow, but when tomorrow gets here, we don't stop. Either you are ready to stop drinking or you aren't. If you are ready today, then stop today. Pour out the wine you have now. Waiting until you finish this box is only continuing on the same path.

samneedshelp

i guess i'm not ready to stop today. i'm going to drink what i have left and not buy any more. i'm embarassed going into a liquor store to buy wine and feeling the clerk knows i have a problem. i'm tired of getting the wine into the house, waiting till the middle of the night to go out to my car and bring it in, hoping no one sees me. so i figure about tuesday i won't have any more. i will pour out the bottle of vodka i have, and i'll do that today. don't like it anyway. i only bought it because i could get it into the house in my big purse...thanks all for your comments...they all help

nandm

Hi Sam, welcome to SR.

Have you considered a program of recovery? It took one for me to quit drinking. I made many failed attempts to quit on my own before I found one. I encourage you to take a look at this link and consider trying one of the recovery programs listed there. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

CarolD

The secret wine drinking may not be much of a secret to those who
live with you. Sam....you smell like alcohol...it's pungent and especially
noticeable to anyone who is not a drinker.

They may not know exactly what the odor is...or why you suddenly smell better ... but.......I'm glad you are going to quit.

I hope your de tox will be smooth...don't hesitate to go to an ER
if you get scared. De toxing is a medical issue.

Welcome...

soberlicious

Sam, I did the same things. Exactly. I wasn't just a wine drinker. I hid alcohol in my car. I rotated stores. I hid alcohol around the house and hid empty bottles and cans as well. I kept a twelve pack in the fridge, but continually replenished it with hidden beer so it would appear to be the same twelve pack. Insane huh? All this hiding even when my partner drank as much as I did (?!) I wish you the best as you begin this journey. I no longer drink and haven't for some time now. I have never been happier. Peace to you, Sam

soberlicious

Sorry to double post, but I didn't see this before I posted. I couldn't agree more, CarolD. Sam, be open to the possibility that it may not be as secret as you think. I told a counselor in tratment that my kids had no idea how much I drank. She looked me dead in the eye and said "they know". After I quit and began talking with them about my journey, they did indeed know...

samneedshelp

you're right, they probably do know... my husband has chronic allergies and doesn't smell well, but i've wondered if he ever found the wine in the closet in the other bedroom. we have separate bedrooms because he snoors and likes to keep the tv on. i can't sleep with the snooring and like the tv off. that is something we are used to, separate bedrooms, and we are okay with that. when my daughter comes over, i pop a mint so she doesn't smell anything. but she has said in the past that i smell like alcohol. i've also wondered if my neighbor has seen me go to my car at night and said something to my husband.....all this really doesn't matter because i'm not buying any more wine. i've hated being so sneaky and know my health is suffering. so glad i came here!!!

sugarbear1

Dump what's left. Now is a good time to begin. Best wishes!