amy55

I am an alcoholic, but I was also married to an alcoholic. I tried to quit many times, and I did for long periods of times.

What I'm confused about is where to post. I need both. Sometimes when I come here, I get reminded of my marriage, and I can't respond, even though I want to, then I go to friends and family, and I can't respond there because I am an alcoholic, and I don't want to look at things from my experience with drinking.

I was in a very abusive marriage. Have scars on me that will never go away, never mind the emotional pain I went through. I want to be encouraging, sometimes, I just can't. So I don't post, and I feel bad about this because I want to post, because I need help.

I think sometimes, this helps me. Once I write things out, I can see it better. I guess what I need is help in establishing my boundaries. I think that in my case, and probably many on here, drinking is a symptom to a problem. I guess maybe I need to work on my problem now.

ReadyAndAble

I'm sorry, amy. You must be a really strong person to have overcome all that on your path toward sobriety. Are you sure you can't just respond in both forums? If anything, I think you might have some valuable insights, seeing things from both perspectives. I know a few other people who straddle both camps.

In any event, I hope you keep posting here.

amy55

I can respond in both, sometimes though I think that I shouldn't, I think that initially when a person stops drinking they need encouragement. I can do that, but sometimes I feel the need to add in how I felt, and I don't think it's right to do that. First the alcoholic has to want to stop drinking for themself, then they might want to look at the damage they did.

I will keep posting here, because I need this for me, I just feel really bad sometimes offering someone hope when there is none. Or trying to bring someone up, when they destroyed others lives. I guess I need to pick and choose, and try to get my boundaries in order.

littlefish

Amy55: of course you are allowed to post in Family and Friends! As far as I know, there is no rule here that you can't post in certain forums.

I am a recovered alcoholic and it was a shock to hear my sponsor say to me: "You are a recovering alcoholic and also a codependent to your alcoholic family".
Well, I never considered that I could be both.
I certainly am. I have very codependent traits which I developed very early in life, being the daughter of two active chronic alcoholics.

Which means I can totally relate to the people in the Family and Friends forum. I know what it is like to try to do too much, try to fix people, try to control. All those things that codies do. And, all the while, I was descending into my own private hell of alcohol addiction.

Being both codie and an alcoholic has been baffling at times, but let's look at the positive side: understanding my dual nature has been a huge step in my own recovery and in the reparation and rehabilitation of the relationships in my life.

sugarbear1

Welcome. You aren't alone.

Dee74

Go for it Amy
Many people post in both forums - in some circles, we're known as 'double winners'

only with men not posting in the Womens room and vice versa

D

Hevyn

Hi amy - I've had the same feelings. Was married long ago to an alcoholic, & now I'm the alcoholic. I want to post in Friends & Family, but so far it's felt awkward. Maybe I'll give it a try. Glad you brought this up.

soberlicious

There is always hope
I am both too.
I read and post in most of the forums here.