samwitch

hey all-
I've been lurking for a while. Seems as if I can't control my alcohol intake even though I keep telling myself I can. I had 3 days under my belt but caved today and realized I can't do this alone though I really, really don't want to admit I have a problem. I just don't know what to do--I've been reading a lot on this forum but I keep thinking I can drink under control but every time I try I don't.

Where do I start? All of my friends drink and seem to have aboslutely no problem. I do, but just keep that to myself. I guess I realize I need to reach out and have someone tell me that I need to stop completely even though I don't want to hear that.
thanks to everyone in advance.

Terminally Unique

Very well...


Here, I'll help you get started...

samwitch

Thanks! I do need to hear that.

So, I need a plan. So far my plans, which have been half hearted, haven't worked.

LaFemme

Hi Samwitch and welcome!

Read around this site and you will see there are many ways to get and stay sober. Try what feels right to you. Most people find they need a support group...SR has been mine....most people seem to think personal work and growth is important...I am in that camp and have found working with a Life Coach very helpful.

Opivotal

Welcome samwitch! I could never control my drinking either. I had to give it up completely. I was slowly killing myself. I had to change. No one can do this for you samwitch. I learned that the hard way. When you want to be sober more than you want to drink...your ready. Maybe look into AA, Smart or some counseling. You need a plan and you need support.



Best Wishes To You!



Best Wishes To You!

TigerLili

Most people can stop drinking or drink in moderation because they are not alcoholics. You can't stop because the alcoholic is genetically differrent to the non-alcoholic. It's no different to being genetically pre-disposed to heart disease or diabetes. The only solution is abstinence. That's why you can't stop of your own accord and yes, support from others who are going through the same thing is invaluable.

When I first grasped the idea that I'd have to quit for good, it was like breaking up the best/worst relationship I'd ever had, dumping my best friend and kicking the cat all at the same time. I didn't think I'd ever, ever be happy or have a good time without alcohol.

I got to that point about six months into sobriety and honestly didn't give alcohol a second thought. Unfortunately, since I am an alcoholic and drifted away from my plan to not drink again and my support systems, I relapsed and am back at the start.

Trust me, relapsing after 2.5 years of sobriety makes abstinence look fantastic LOL!

artsoul

Welcome samwitch -

It's not easy to come to grips with the fact that we can't control our drinking. It doesn't seem to matter how smart or successful we are, rich or poor, young or old, when it comes to addiction.

This is a great place to big your journey - glad you're here!

CarolD

Welcome to the posting and shareing part of our recovery community...
I did not get into trouble each time I drank...but each time I did have SERIOUS problems I had been drinking. .

Yes many of us are finding a new life without alcohol is really in the best interest of ourselves and others who love us.

Yes you too can win over alcohol...which is a chemically toxic liquid that causes much harm

hope you will find your way and keep in touch with us....

OorWullie

Hi Samwitch, I'm 44 and have been binge drinking since I was 14. Despite all the problems booze had caused me over the years - particularly when I was younger - I always regarded myself as a hard drinker who was in control. That was my mindset until a couple of years ago when I suspected my problem was much more serious after I started drinking heavily alone after splitting up with my partner. I went to an AA meeting but never went back as I convinced myself I was not an alcoholic and could drink in moderation. I can occasionally drink sensibly and the fact that I have not yet had a train crash has caused me a lot of confusion. Most of my friends are heavy drinkers too so getting hammered has been the norm for much of my life, and I just couldn't see that I had an issue with alcohol despite all the red flags. I used to think to myself: 'If I have a problem then so do most of the people I know and that just can't be right. Stop being silly."
The simple fact I have come to accept recently, though, is that most of the time I drink for oblivion. When I start, I want to get wasted and most of the time I have no control over my drinking whatsoever. Over the past few months, I've cancelled nights out with friends because I didn't want to get drunk but then I would end up getting wasted on my own out of boredom.
The friends issue is a problem for me too but I've decided my physical and mental health must come first so staying sober is my priority and everything else comes second.
This is day nine sober for me, thanks to the advice on this forum. There is plenty of support here so you've come to the right place.

Zebra1275

Seems as if I can't control my alcohol intake even though I keep telling myself I can.

I really, really don't want to admit I have a problem.

I keep thinking I can drink under control but every time I try I don't.

Sounds like you are powerless over alcohol and that your life has become unmanageable. I suggest you read step 1 of AA and see if you think you qualify for membership. If you think you do, go to a few meetings. Don't worry about going on to step 2 yet.

samwitch

Thank you all--your words are all so very helpful and it's very comforting to know I'm not alone in this.

TigerLili--your comparisions to losing your best friend, kicking the cat,etc. is exactly how I'm thinking!

I'm committed to making this work--I'm going to set today as my day 1 and work on my plan to succeed. I'm going to lean on you guys for help so be warned!

seethefuture

Samwich,

I am on day 2 here. I am in a place, too, where all my friends drink and every social situation revolves around alcohol. I oftentimes can have a few and stop, but more recently, that is not the case. I have also done the halfhearted effort but this time I am reaching out here, like you, and am letting my friends know I am not drinking. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone!

freshstart57

It is a scary prospect to have your logical brain answer the question that AVRT asked: Are you ever going to drink again? Yes or no? After reading how you use alcohol (exactly the same as every one else around here, don't kid yourself), the thinking part of you knows what the answer is, no question about it.

The only part that is left is to decide what to do about the other part of your brain, the part that gets bored, scared, depressed, anxious, angry, and looks for that next buzz to oblivion. Try looking for some information on Rational Recovery, that really helped me.

Good luck, and keep asking questions here on SR, and more importantly, of yourself. Lots of help here.

julez

You need to reach out and have someone tell you that you need to stop??

HEY SAMWITCH!!!
you need to stop

withdrawing

This is what I battled with for many, many years. For some people, like me, it took hitting my own personal rock bottom where I was really forced into finally giving alcohol up. I drank for so many years that I started experiencing full blown panic attacks when I wasn't drinking.

I wish that I hadn't waited until that happened to quit but I learn everything the hard way. I wish that I would have read about neurobiology earlier and studied about what alcohol does to the brain long before it took its toll on me in the form of high anxiety and panic attacks.

I'm on day 44 now without alcohol and I have honestly had NO desire to further damage my GABA receptors in my brain with more alcohol. I had no idea I was doing that all along. I would strongly suggest people here to read some books such as the Science of Addiction by Carlton Erickson or The Addiction Solution by David Kipper to see just what alcohol is doing to your brain. Now that I have the knowledge of what I was doing to the neurotransmitters in my brain with alcohol and seeing how it had such control over me has helped me immensely with looking at alcohol in a completely different way.

The reason why you can't control your alcohol intake is because you might have a genetic predisposition, like me because of my father's side, for a neurobiological imbalance in the brain that causes you to drink. You drink to make yourself feel better because of that. Alcohol binds to the GABA receptors in the brain and it messes with serotonin levels as well. When you are not drinking your brain demands that you come back with more alcohol. It's a vicious cycle that only you can choose to break.

Terminally Unique

Remember, a decision not to decide one way or the other is still a decision, and the absence of a plan not to drink is often simply a plan to drink.

Anna

Welcome!

If you are commited to stop drinking and living a sober life, then you will be able to do it. It takes a lot of hard work, but it is so worth it. I believe there are many difficult changes to make in early recovery, and for me, I had to remove some people from my life. I couldn't be around alcohol at all for a very long time.

I hope that you keep reading and posting.