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Long time lurker, day one, post one!

Old 09-15-2011, 10:33 AM
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Long time lurker, day one, post one!

Hey everyone. I have known for a while that I have a problem with alcohol, but really I've been too scared to try and stop. I woke up this morning, feeling terrible, and on my way to work I just decided, this is it. The plain truth about me is that I NEVER want one beer. I want ALL the beer.

So, today is my day one. I'm F/29 and I've been thinking about quitting for 2 years now. That's a long time. Both of my parents are alcoholics and another family member just was diagnosed with a 40% chance of living five more years, that's IF he quits drinking. He's only 45 talk about a wake up call for me.

I think most of what I'm worried about is that my life is going to have to change. All my friends hang out and drink. We go to bars to watch football, for birthday parties, after playing softball. I don't know how to 'hang-out' without beer.

I'm also going to go to an AA meeting. I'm scared out of my mind about that, but I don't see me actually sticking to anything if I try to on my own.

So, that's me.
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Old 09-15-2011, 10:38 AM
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Dont worry about all the other stuff. There are lots of people your age in AA rooms all over the USA. They are not losers-they lived the same lifestyle and wanted to get a better lifestyle for themselves.
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Old 09-15-2011, 12:17 PM
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Keep strong Tristy. Both of my parents were alcoholics, and are no longer around because of it. You think that would have stopped me. Not until now am I really serious about abstaining. Years after there passing. I am 40, and have been drinking for almost 15 years now. Bottle of whiskey everyday lately. You would never know it to look at me. I hide it very well. Even have a business, wife, kids, workout daily, and eat great. But I am losing control lately, and need to stop now. We have both new to this site, and I hope to see we are both here for a long time to come. I wish you well on your journey and please stay strong.
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Old 09-15-2011, 12:38 PM
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Welcome, Tristy!
You'll probably want to avoid bars for quite a while. That may mean saying no to invitations or suggesting alternatives.
Going to AA will be an excellent way to meet new, sober friends. I know it sounds scary but you'll find your first AA meeting to be welcoming!
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Old 09-15-2011, 02:01 PM
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Welcome! Going to an AA meeting is a good start.
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Old 09-15-2011, 02:15 PM
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Tristy, stopthecycle xxx I wish you bothwell. Im 2 weeks today and yes its daunting stopping drinking, But keeping drinking is even more daunting to me. Hugs to you both
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Old 09-15-2011, 02:24 PM
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Welcome aboard, tristy. Glad you're here.

Yes, your life will change, but it sounds like mostly for the better. I thought I would be missing out on a lot of fun stuff. But looking back, I realize those nights hanging out at the bar were basically all the same. Same people, same conversations, same old, same old. Now instead of heading out for a night on the town with a bunch of people, I wake up and go for morning hike with one friend, then maybe meet another for coffee. The conversations are better, the connections are more intimate and real. And I feel good about myself now—which makes everything more enjoyable.

Anyway, glad you found us.
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Old 09-15-2011, 02:29 PM
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Welcome and congrats Tristy!

There are things tha you can do that don't involve booze, you just have to look for them...I'm going to a lecture at the local museum tomorrow night. This isntto scare you...for me it's a positive step as I was one of those reclusive drinkers...at the end, when I drank I had no social life...it would interfere with the drinking. So going to a lecture is actually pretty exciting for me...lol
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Old 09-15-2011, 04:13 PM
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Welcome Tristy! I have a similar story. Its pretty scary isnt it?

I love your line: I want all the beer. Thats me to a tee. I will drink it until it is gone. also feel like I have to keep up with the boys. Not smart for me.
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Old 09-15-2011, 04:31 PM
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Welcome to SR Tristy

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Old 09-15-2011, 04:57 PM
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Welcome Tristy and congratulations on your decision to stop drinking!

I was scared to think about a life without alcohol, too. There was a period of adjustment, for sure, but I find that I actually enjoy my life a lot more now that I'm sober.

Only about 10% of people drink like we do, so there's plenty of people out there having fun without getting wasted. Infact, I still attend things where alcohol is served (as long as that's not the main entertainment!) - I just don't stick around for the after-party.

Getting support is so important...... Starting out here is great first step!
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Old 09-15-2011, 06:02 PM
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Welcome Tristy! Good for you on going to an AA meeting (I still have yet to do that). This is a great place to supplement that I think. I used to think I could do it alone if I really put my mind to it, but kept falling over and over. I'm just newly sober too, but being around people with the same struggles has been immensely helpful.
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Old 09-15-2011, 06:27 PM
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Welcome Tristy and Stopthecycle,

This is a good place for support. I am able to do a lot more things now that I don't drink. There is a whole new life out there.

All the best
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Old 09-15-2011, 06:28 PM
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Welcome Tristy!

This is wonderful place to come to on good days and bad. There are ao many great people here that have been where you and I and many others have been, maybe even moreso. They have insightful experiences that will make you sit back and think. What I have noticed is how so many of us have the same patterns. That blew me away more than anything. I was a whisky drinker. Same as Stopthecycle (and welcome to you as well!). Drank it every day and hid it very well. No one knew how bad it was, even my hubby (who joined me on my sobriety journey by not drinking beer, gave it up completely). When I told him I was an alcoholic, his first words were "No, you're not". I had to convince him with all the stories of hidden bottles in the cabinets, picking a bottle up on the way home and taking pulls of the bottle before I got in the driveway. Any way, point is, whatever you method of drinking, drink of choice, know that it's time to make it stop is a great first step!

I do agree that sobriety is a trade off for some things that you used to do drinking. But, I will say the trade off is well worth it. There are difficult days in this journey, but that's when you come here for support. Or in your case, when you have your AA sponsor, call that person. Good for you for using this forum along with AA. I have not gone to AA as of yet, but know that if I struggle too much at some point, that would be my next option.

Reading about alcoholism is pretty interesting, too. What it does to our bodies is horrific. Not to mention what it can do to relationships, and your outlook on life in general. It is not prejudice and will victimize any of us.

I'm glad you are here on this journey with all of us. Looks like you have some wonderful people that have joined in about the same time as you. Good luck to all the September newbies!!!! Welcome, welcome, welcome!
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Old 09-15-2011, 08:31 PM
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Welcome!

We have similar stories and we're similar in age, so I understand how you're feeling. It's tough to be 20-something and abstain from alcohol. Sadly, we've been taught to use alcohol for celebrations and entertainment, especially in younger ages. But, I can say this: if you are always drinking with your friends, you may find that when you're sober you may not actually like them as much (or the drunk version of them), which will make breaking some friendships off easier. ...Because you may need to cut some people out of your life for your sobriety.

I wish you well!
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Old 09-15-2011, 11:03 PM
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Hi Tristy, you're doing the right thing. I was binge drinking for 30 years and only recently decided to stop. I am nine days sober thanks to this forum and I feel the best I have done for years both physically and mentally. Read as much as you can on this site as the info and advice is invaluable. It's a real lifeline.
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Old 09-16-2011, 12:41 AM
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Welcome...
Glad you decided to use the posting part of our recovery community

Yes...I did make many positive moves to stay sober...the best was connecting to my local AA.
We do all sorts of fun and interesting things ouside of meetings..watch football...eat out ..dance...etc.

We take recovery seriously but to quote a bit of our text book..."we are not a glum lot"...
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Old 09-16-2011, 01:25 AM
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When I stopped drinking I was hyper focused on what excuses I would make for not drinking. The funny thing is that no one ever asked me why I wasn't drinking or just accepted my 'I'm a bit run down and on a health kick' explanation (which was also true) and left it at that. I noticed that many, many people just had one, or none, and no one questioned them on it either. It was a revelation.

It was daunting for the first few months to give up my best friend and the best/worst relationship I'd ever had - alcohol. EVERYTHING is better when I don't drink.
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Old 09-16-2011, 08:05 AM
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I like the reply to the question of not drinking that I saw on a different thread. "No thanks, I've already had my share".
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Old 09-16-2011, 10:20 AM
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My first step toward recovery was admitting to someone else, my ex-girlfriend at the time, that I had a problem. I next attended an AA meeting.

So yes, you should attend. But what has worked for me is being honest with myself and with others and reconnecting with them. I didn't go back after that first AA meeting.

However, what I DID do, was stay sober, and I've been sober for four months.
Find that group, AA, or a church group or a group of supportive human beings who can relate to you. This is what I've been doing, and it is working.

Keep at it. It's worth it.

Sober 4 months, by the grace of God
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