Farfalla

for everything. Telling me I threw him to the curb. Saying I don't love him. I am very sad today. Very sad for my family. I pray he gets help. I told him we can't work on us until he works on himself. Strange though, my son has taken on only what I can describe as a peaceful demeanor. I am trying to stay strong. I pray to GOD I stand my ground and remain firm on my terms to be in our home. I pray loneliness doesn't consume me and blind my decision making.

whyme123

You are strong! You have already set boundaries on what you will and will not allow in your home.

Just for today ... you will be strong! Try it again tomorrow and then the day after. When you focus on one day and not the entire future, it makes it easier.

Hanna

As much as it hurts, this might be a great step forward. You will be in my prayers

Farfalla

Thank you. When he took the last of his belongings and then asked for a hug goodbye I just broke down. My heart aches.

Kindeyes

I'm so sorry that your heart is hurting. When we begin to change, it's not unusual for the addict to pull out all stops. Their manipulative, blaming behaviors escalate. If they can get us to accept blame for all that has gone wrong, they have no need to take the blame for that which THEY are responsible for.

Addicts very effectively use our emotions (fear, guilt, pity, shame and anger) as weapons to manipulate us......if we let them. Not allowing them to engage our emotional response is what "loving detachment" means to me.

You can stay strong......one day at a time. And we are here to walk with you so that you don't feel so alone.

gentle hugs
ke

ninja

Stay strong! You did the right thing! Living with addiction is unhealthy for both you and your son. Your life will get better day by day. Your son is peaceful because he can sense a release from the drama. You'll feel it soon too. Hang in there - calm and happiness will seep back into your life slowly. Good for you!

Hanna

I know it's incredibly tough. Focus on your son and taking care of yourself. Read the stories of others here on the forums and you will know you are not alone. It never ceases to amaze me that so many have figured out how to thrive despite living with the chaos of loving an addict.

nerdygirl

Like an addict, this is a one day at a time program. You'll have good days and bad days. Some days you will feel strong and angry. Other days you will want to break and contact him or see him. Post, read, attend meetings, go to therapy. Whatever works for you - do it. You've already taken the first and most difficult step!

December2011

FamilyDestroyed,

It broke my heart when you said that you pray that lonliness doesn't consume you.

It makes me want to reach out and hug you and tell you that you are not alone- but right now, you feel alone, and so betrayed by the man that was supposed to be your partner in life-- your strong hold, your rock. The father of your kids, the man you have loved for years and years.

Even though this is the internet, and I am probably miles away, I truly feel the love that you have for your family. I hope for a miricle for you and your loved ones.


Hugs, D

December2011

Family destroyed,

I wanted to tell you also, that it is typical for addicts to say we don't love ... That is the farthest thing from the truth, and deep down he knows that, and you know that

hello-kitty

At least he's gone.

Sorry, I know it sounds cold. But saying those things to you is just another form of manipulation. He's quacking. That's what addicts do - blame others for their problems to avoid taking responsibility for their own bad choices.

Nothing has changed. He's still behaving like a manipulator and he's still an active drug addict.

So I'm sorry for your pain. I've been there. But I encourage you to stay smart and focused on the facts during this difficult time. Don't allow yourself to be manipulated.

outtolunch

I sometimes think that the gods put addicts into some peoples lives to teach them that being alone does not mean being lonely.