It's just Stuff but Dang...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: FL
Posts: 63
It's just Stuff but Dang...
It's been two months since RAH moved out and we have had no contact in several weeks. Things have been not perfect but i'm rolling with what life gives me.. a bit tricky since i don't have family in FL to lean on.. I do miss the "safety" net of a male figure in the home but like others have said how much was he actually "involved" in when he was here.
BUT.. it seems like every so often i still get reminders of how he felt about me..
For example: my car is not running right.. so i decided to take a look at it. I found my haynes manual and guess what? he took EVERY single tool in the house. He has tubs and tubs full of tools but he took MY toolbox, socket set and voltage meter..
...went to check the internal temp of my pork tenderloin.. BOTH meat thermometers were gone..
so much for dessert.. my ice cream scoop is gone...
I get it now he didn't like me very much even in recovery but what about treating me like a good ole plain "HUMAN"..
i get stuck on the "principle" of it all.. and the thought of i couldn't treat a stranger or enemy like he has treated me.. but he is he and I am Me..
BUT.. it seems like every so often i still get reminders of how he felt about me..
For example: my car is not running right.. so i decided to take a look at it. I found my haynes manual and guess what? he took EVERY single tool in the house. He has tubs and tubs full of tools but he took MY toolbox, socket set and voltage meter..
...went to check the internal temp of my pork tenderloin.. BOTH meat thermometers were gone..
so much for dessert.. my ice cream scoop is gone...
I get it now he didn't like me very much even in recovery but what about treating me like a good ole plain "HUMAN"..
i get stuck on the "principle" of it all.. and the thought of i couldn't treat a stranger or enemy like he has treated me.. but he is he and I am Me..
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
Sending you big hugs - as I truly understand. I understand wanting to be treated with dignity and respect. It seems like such a simple and easy thing to do, right? Not for an alcoholic - unfortunately.
Fortunately, your RAH is gone. You are no longer living in the chaos... and the stuff that's gone is - well, just stuff. It can be replaced! *****! And how cool for you that you can take care of your own car!?!? Girl, YOU ROCK.
Fortunately, your RAH is gone. You are no longer living in the chaos... and the stuff that's gone is - well, just stuff. It can be replaced! *****! And how cool for you that you can take care of your own car!?!? Girl, YOU ROCK.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Western US
Posts: 143
It really is just stuff. My ex took all the power tools that had belonged to my late husband. At first I was furious! Then I thought if a few tools was what it cost to get him out of my life it was a price worth paying.
I look at it this way:
Power drill $39.95
Peace in my home: PRICELESS
I look at it this way:
Power drill $39.95
Peace in my home: PRICELESS
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 428
Him being a jerk has nothing to do with you. Good, honest, kind and loving people just don't treat other people like that, no matter how they feel about them. This is a hard one for me to get. Some how I think if the "A's" in my life only loved me more they would treat me differently, but I have to constantly remind myself it really has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with who they are.
((((hug)))
((((hug)))
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
Posts: 3,424
I was furious about something similar too. I am learning home repair though and in a way that I can remember and do for years to come.
Then he told me, he was really angry because I took all the cheese graters. I had no idea....that helped me to put it in perspective.
I decided that cheese was more important than tools and I have found a store in town that is so kind to me when I walk in (cause I am a hopeless mess).
Then he told me, he was really angry because I took all the cheese graters. I had no idea....that helped me to put it in perspective.
I decided that cheese was more important than tools and I have found a store in town that is so kind to me when I walk in (cause I am a hopeless mess).
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
This thread reminded me of a funny email my sister sent me a while back.
Sorry, I just couldn't resist. 
L
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
‘What in bag?’ asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, ‘It’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.’
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:
‘Good trade….’
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
‘What in bag?’ asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, ‘It’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.’
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:
‘Good trade….’
L
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
