AD thinks she's moving back...

Old 09-11-2011, 04:25 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Freedom1990's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
AD thinks she's moving back...

I confess it's really been nice having her living out of town for the past 14 years.

When I went down to visit my granddaughter and saw the deplorable living conditions, I knew something was bound to come of that.

Seems the lot manager of the trailer park is trying to get her trailer condemned, and with good reason.

She's a resourceful girl, so I don't doubt she could potentially find a way and a place to move to where I live.

I realize it hasn't happened yet, but I find myself mentally gearing up for the situation.

She's still not welcome in my home. I'm not a taxi service either.

I'd just really rather she was not residing in the same town as me.

Then there is the matter of my granddaughter having to transfer high schools, which would be emotionally difficult for her. The upside is I would see the grandkids more often.

I guess I'll cross the bridge when I get to it and just put it on the shelf for now eh?
Freedom1990 is offline  
Old 09-11-2011, 04:51 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
I'm no angel!
 
dollydo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
You already know what I am going to say:

Don't obsess
Don't attempt to project into the future

Focus on you, your health, your overall well-being and your new job! That's quiet enough to handle, don't yah think?

Hugs, Dolly
dollydo is offline  
Old 09-11-2011, 05:01 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Freedom1990's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by dollydo View Post
You already know what I am going to say:

Don't obsess
Don't attempt to project into the future

Focus on you, your health, your overall well-being and your new job! That's quiet enough to handle, don't yah think?

Hugs, Dolly
I do believe you are right, and it is quite enough to handle!

Thanks for the voice of reason, dear.
Freedom1990 is offline  
Old 09-11-2011, 05:04 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Journey To Me
 
MTSlideAddict's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Kyle, Texas
Posts: 395
It sounds like you know what to do. Dollydo said it all in case you forget.

MTSlideAddict is offline  
Old 09-11-2011, 05:05 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Kindeyes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Good gravey! I thought I was going to open this thread and see that she thought she was moving back IN with you! Glad to know it's just a little bit of obsessing going on and not a full blown move into insanity! lol

gentle hugs
ke
Kindeyes is offline  
Old 09-11-2011, 05:10 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
When you said you would rather that your daughter not live in the same town that you do, that made me shake my head in understanding. I'm moving out of the town that my son lives in (and was born/raised in). About 6 months ago I heard that he started renting a house only 1 mile from me. So I now avoid driving down that street because I do not want to know where he lives or what kind of car he drives Why? Because I know myself, and if i knew where he lived it would be too tempting to drive by there and keep the drama going in my head. No thanks!! I also would be very much drawn into things if i saw his car parked in the driveways where I know people live who are all screwed up due to drug use.

God bless this site. Where else could I go and read about people going through this the same as me.
sojourner is offline  
Old 09-11-2011, 05:19 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Freedom1990's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by Kindeyes View Post
Good gravey! I thought I was going to open this thread and see that she thought she was moving back IN with you! Glad to know it's just a little bit of obsessing going on and not a full blown move into insanity! lol

gentle hugs
ke
Oh goodness no, there will never ever be moving IN with me again!

I left that kind of insanity in the ditch years ago!
Freedom1990 is offline  
Old 09-11-2011, 05:20 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Freedom1990's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by sojourner View Post
When you said you would rather that your daughter not live in the same town that you do, that made me shake my head in understanding. I'm moving out of the town that my son lives in (and was born/raised in). About 6 months ago I heard that he started renting a house only 1 mile from me. So I now avoid driving down that street because I do not want to know where he lives or what kind of car he drives Why? Because I know myself, and if i knew where he lived it would be too tempting to drive by there and keep the drama going in my head. No thanks!! I also would be very much drawn into things if i saw his car parked in the driveways where I know people live who are all screwed up due to drug use.

God bless this site. Where else could I go and read about people going through this the same as me.

You are not alone my dear! I personally don't want to know what she does with her life and who she hangs with.

I've come too far to get wrapped up in her crap again.

Hugs from a momma of one addict to another!
Freedom1990 is offline  
Old 09-11-2011, 08:13 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 590
I hope to get to the point you are someday.

Kari
KariSue is offline  
Old 09-12-2011, 03:31 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Ann
Nature Girl
 
Ann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I remember years ago when my son moved into the park down the street from me, sleeping on benches and using the washrooms there. That was wayyyyy too close for comfort and I asked him to find a new park. He did.

You will know what to do when the time comes, Freedom, I have no doubt of that. But I know the cringe of thinking about this too long, so clear your mind, show up and let life happen.

Hugs
Ann is offline  
Old 09-12-2011, 10:18 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 317
I defiantly understand your worries, and perhaps anxiety over this.

It is hard not to go back and forth in your head about it.

I am kinda laughing(with all due respect) at some of the posts, because it sounds so bad not to want to live in the same town, or to not want to drive by the son's house that lives a mile away. To other people without this issue, it probably sounds horrid, but to us, it makes perfect sense!!!

My son still lives with me, and not for long, and I dread it when he calls, wakes up, comes home. I have often thought about skipping town.

Thank you for your post, and I hope it all works out for you.
December2011 is offline  
Old 09-12-2011, 10:32 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
Seren's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
(((DeVon)))

I hear ya! It would be nice to at least know that my AStepson is alive because we don't know where he is......

But being in contact if he is still using (I highly suspect) would be a nightmare, too.

hugs, HG
Seren is offline  
Old 09-12-2011, 10:40 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Freedom1990's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by December2011 View Post
I am kinda laughing(with all due respect) at some of the posts, because it sounds so bad not to want to live in the same town, or to not want to drive by the son's house that lives a mile away. To other people without this issue, it probably sounds horrid, but to us, it makes perfect sense!!!
Yes it does make sense.

I paid my dues on having AD residing in the same house as me and she turned it upside down.

It was awful, and I knew when I kicked her out that never again would I put myself in that position.

She and my youngest were joy-riding in my car after I'd finally go to sleep at night. They were smoking dope and drinking beer upstairs after I went to sleep. It was a nightmare.

The end result was my youngest ran away a short time later (after I kicked AD out), and my AD was in the car that picked her up in the middle of the night. She had actually convinced my youngest that I was crazy and she could get custody of her.

My youngest ended up in juvenile lockup for 60 days, and then a year in a foster home that specialized in high risk teens. Nothing happened to AD other than a no contact order because my youngest refused to testify against her at the time.

I will never forget the havoc my AD brought, nor the pain of the aftermath.

Active addiction is ugly, and it will no longer reside in my home. End of story.
Freedom1990 is offline  
Old 09-12-2011, 02:46 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
ItsmeAlice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
I have been entirely too distracted by thoughts of running into my X and some toxic folks I walked away from in recent past now that I have settled into my own house in a town I actually like. Just knowing that they could march right up to my house if they dared, puts me on edge some days. It's driving me a little nuts and I'm sick of renting out the mental space to it so I wish I had your resolve to put it on a shelf. Ugh.

Knowing that I'm projecting to the future and just awfulizing seems so far from letting it go.

Alice
ItsmeAlice is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:21 AM.