eddie73

I think that my motivation is fear. It is not healthy. It is relevant to a point, we want to remember the pain of the last relapse at some level as a disincentive to drink again, but over time we forget the pain.

The desire to be sober is a more healthy way of staying sober. But is it possible to do that without the reminder of the horror of drinking?

just a thought for today

freshstart57

There are many ways to motivate yourself to stay sober; you can think about the bad things that will certainly happen again should you drink, or you can think about the great things that will come with staying sober.

Here is a partial look at the list I use:

1. I will start having more money
2. Brain and liver will start to heal
3. No need to hide drinking from family
4. I will start to regain the respect of wife and kids
5. No more hangovers
6. Sound, sober sleep every night, feeling refreshed in the morning
7. No more wasted hours and days pulling on that bottle
8. Renewed joy in each day
9. No more depression, anxiety and anger
10. True optimism for the future
11. A feeling of happiness not experienced since childhood

We each can make our own list. I found it helpful to make mine because it lets me choose positive things, instead of only not choosing negative things. A thought provoking post. Thanks, Eddie.

Anna

I surely started my sobriety based on fear. I was about to lose my family and possibly my life. I think that, within weeks, a shift occurred as I became more spiritually connected and I began to really want to recover.

keithj

Hi Eddie,

I've been reading your posts over the past few weeks with some concern. I don't want to be a bother, but I feel it would be wrong to not try to see where I could be of help to you.

You're an AA guy, right? Can I ask, what would happen if you took the Steps again, from the beginning, and had a new experience? That discomfort and fear you describe is, in my experience, the result of untreated alcoholism. Maybe there are other factors involved, but when it starts driving my life, instead of being driven by the benevolent will of some higher power, it's time for me to look real hard at my reliance and trust in that power.

If I really believe in the experience of the other recovered alcoholics in AA, and in my own experience, I know that pain of the last relapse will never serve to keep me away from the next one. 'I can not recall with sufficient force the humiliation and suffering of a even a week or month ago. I am without defense against the first drink.'

quote AA BB, 1st Ed., pg 24

Terminally Unique

That fear-based stuff never worked out too well for me long term. Eventually I would "forget" why I quit in the first place, that euphoric recall would kick in, and I would be back to square one.

Dee74

Fear got me started too - and worked for quite a while - but I'm glad I naturally began to be motivated by positive things like how could I make my sober self and my life better, what good could I do, etc...

Stick with it Eddie
D

RobbyRobot

I think being overwhelmed by our fears is a wakeup call for change. I depend on my basic honesty keeping me in balance as to what I can handle emotionally and mentally in any given day. I know from past experiences that ignoring my limits always brings me into greater hardships.

In early sobriety, it was difficult for me to grasp just how mismanaged my limits actually were. No wonder I had great difficulty staying sober, I had almost no positive understanding of my limits with what I could handle in my life.

I have come to understand and accept that fears are a natural experience in my day to day life now. I don't ignore my own honesty easily now, and I pay more attention to my responses to my fears, and use those levels to find a balance of what action to take to manage my choices.

Driven by fears or attracted by desires both work well for me to understand and come to action to ensure having a more livable sober day. Simplicity in all things is a blessing and a freedom of self that I earnestly allow in how defining my own limits day to day shapes my experiences.

cuyootoo

I don't really fear alcohol in the traditional sense of the word, I loathe alcohol. I hate what alcohol does to me. Alcohol is not my friend.

omegasupreme

"Misery occurs when fear and desire meet at the same point."--Floyd Henderson

least

My sober life started out of fear but is continuing out of gratitude.

eJoshua

I think I started with the fear that if I kept drinking I would kill myself. Today I maintain my sobriety by living in the hope that I am spiritually alive.

tanja

I agree with Dee's post. Fear can be a powerful motivator in the beginning. That is what is keeping me sober today. But, I certainly do not want to live my life in fear. I figure with time, it will pass. That's not to say that I am not counting my blessings every day. I thint he following from Recovery Corner speaks well of the fears we faced and drowned in alcohol: I drank to be witty - and became a boor. I drank to relax and couldn't stop my hands from shaking. I drank to feel good and I suffered through sickening hangovers. I drank to be happy and it made me depressed. I drnak to be a good dancer and it made me stagger. I drank to be a good conversationalist and I couldn't pronounce the words. I drank to be socialable and I became angry and resentful. I drank to help my appetite and cheated by body of nutrition by not eating right. I drank to be popular and lost my friends. I drank to enjoy life and contemplated suicide. I drank for camaraderie and drove everyone away from me. I drank to escape and built a prison for myself. I drank to find peace and I found hell.

SSIL75

Fear never kept me sober. I do regularly contrast my drunk and sober lives though... and I guess i fear losing what I now love ('real life').

Like this morning I went to the post office to mail letters connected with an organization I volunteer with (sense of accomplishment). I woke up with my baby squeezing my nose. I'm taking the kids to the park to ride their bikes this afternoon.

It's actually why I keep asking you what you have to be happy about. Because I know that's what's keeping me sober. My alcoholic life that was just stripped of alcohol wasn't worth staying sober for. But backfilling the void with enjoyable things has put me back in balance.

Thinking about you, Enda. I know you can do it.