co-dependent words of wisdom(from an unlikely source)
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: seattle
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co-dependent words of wisdom(from an unlikely source)
I had posted a few weeks ago about the relapse of my now ex-boyfriend.I tried and tried over and over again for 5 months to controll and fix the situation.With much despiration and exhaustion I joined this group and have found alot of wisdom and kind words. I have been reading "Co-dependent No More" and it has completely changed my way of thinking,of course I have slipped up a few times but my head is much more clear and my goals are more realistic.Some days are harder than others but I am finally focusing on me! I talked to my addict about it and let him know its time for me to care for myself and let him live his life how he intends to live it. At first it was met with desperate pleas and tears from him and "I cant do this without you". Anyway a few days ago he sent me an email,part of which said
"someone told me the other day the when a catipillar turns to a butterfly it goes through tormenting pain.... wings ripping through its little body then all the effort of having to tear out of a hard cacoon. This is both painfull and exhausting. Incedentally if you happen to see a butterfly struggling to get out of his cacoon and help him.... you rob him of the muscle building activity of ripping through the cacoon and he becomes unable to fly because he never had the chance to become fully developed......"
I'm sure that many of you have heard this or a similar analogy but I thought it summed up co-dependency perfectly for those of us that are new to the term. I also get a kick out of it being sent to me from my addict who is also a co-dependent ( now that I know what it is
Since I have left him to his own devices he now has two weeks clean which is the longest he has had since his relapse..well aside from when he was in treatment...anyway I know that we are both much better off since I have detached myself from his addiction.
"someone told me the other day the when a catipillar turns to a butterfly it goes through tormenting pain.... wings ripping through its little body then all the effort of having to tear out of a hard cacoon. This is both painfull and exhausting. Incedentally if you happen to see a butterfly struggling to get out of his cacoon and help him.... you rob him of the muscle building activity of ripping through the cacoon and he becomes unable to fly because he never had the chance to become fully developed......"
I'm sure that many of you have heard this or a similar analogy but I thought it summed up co-dependency perfectly for those of us that are new to the term. I also get a kick out of it being sent to me from my addict who is also a co-dependent ( now that I know what it is
Since I have left him to his own devices he now has two weeks clean which is the longest he has had since his relapse..well aside from when he was in treatment...anyway I know that we are both much better off since I have detached myself from his addiction.
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This is a great way to explain it.
I have experienced in my life that many of the addicts also struggle with co-dependency, and in many ways the addiction is helping them to "manage" that part of their life.
Thanks for sharing.
I have experienced in my life that many of the addicts also struggle with co-dependency, and in many ways the addiction is helping them to "manage" that part of their life.
Thanks for sharing.
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