ljames103

How does this happen? I don't understand! I am suffering from a vicious hangover today, splitting headache, vomiting, shaking, the whole nine yards. And of course, I'm feeling stupid, disappointed with myself, guilty, everything that goes along with it. But despite all that, and regardless of how many times I vow to never drink again (and right now that's exactly how I feel), just give me a day or two, and I'll be right back at it.

Why don't I learn? Shouldn't this teach me a lesson? I just feel so stupid...

sugarbear1

When you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, seek medical help for detoxing and get to different aa meetings.

Prayers and best wishes!

Dee74

I did that for 15 years ljames.

I think in my case I wanted to be a normal drinker - and despite all the mounting evidence to the contrary, I persisted with that delusion.

Once I accepted that my relationship with alcohol had always been self destructive and it would never change, I accepted that drinking was no longer a viable option and I started to move forward...

I know you can too - never give up - think about what you can add to what you've been doing - you can do this

D

Anna

It's what we do, and it goes round and round and spirals downward.

Do what you need to do to stop and to begin recovery.

artsoul

I asked that question so many times I doubt I could count them. I still don't understand it, except to say that addiction has nothing to do with reason.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's scary to think about quitting, I know, but I hate to see things get worse for you (and they will if you keep drinking). Just posting about it, though, takes some courage and I admire you for that!:day6

least

I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink. When I got to that point I was finally able to stay sober.

Stang

Nothing quite like waking up feeling like 200 lb of smashed assh0les is it!

Zebra1275

How does this happen? I don't understand! I am suffering from a vicious hangover today, splitting headache, vomiting, shaking, the whole nine yards. And of course, I'm feeling stupid, disappointed with myself, guilty, everything that goes along with it. But despite all that, and regardless of how many times I vow to never drink again (and right now that's exactly how I feel), just give me a day or two, and I'll be right back at it.

Why don't I learn? Shouldn't this teach me a lesson? I just feel so stupid...

It's pretty insane isn't it?

I used to have a bit of a problem with step 2 of AA, "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity" . . . thinking to myself, hey wait a minute, I'm not insane!

And I'm not. But just add alcohol and I can start acting like it.

The Big Book aptly describes it as cunning, baffling and powerful.

backbeat

I'm in the same boat. Only each time I try to stop, at least I am able to put more and more days together each time. I once was sober for 12 years and went back out for 5. Now I'm struggling to stay on the wagon for any length of time. For me I think that after a day or so I'm ready to go back at it because that's how long it takes for the effects of the alcohol (the sugars) to really leave your body. Not sure about that but I think it's the case. Good luck. Hang in there. You're definitely not alone. I've been drunk, I've been sober, and I've been excrutiatingly hungover and sober is by far the best of all the options.

DisplacedGRITS

Take a breath, hold it and release. Get detoxed. Coming off alcohol can kill you. You can do it. I can do it. Sobriety is a bitch but we must accept it and embrace Sobriety. Personally, it's the second most important thing to me. First is a child. Gotta have one to have the other.

Terminally Unique

I had many start/stop cycles myself, usually lasting 3-4 days, but some for a few months. I came to realize that my mistake was in trying to lessen the desire for drinking, rather than accepting it. I would try to get happier, or distract myself with other things, hoping that old voice telling me to go to the liquor store would go away, and it would for a while, but it wouldn't last. Once I accepted that I both wanted to quit and wanted to keep on drinking (at the same time!), and that there was nothing wrong with that, I was able to look at things more clearly.