Stoolie1326

I made it 94 days sober, I have an anxiety problem, and recently was having trouble sleeping. Tonight I drank 5-7 beers and thought I felt great about the decision. All the things I loved about drinking came back, I hooked up with a beautiful women, all my friends told me how happy they were that I was drinking, and all was good, then I came home. The buzz wore off, and I now realized what seemed so right, was terribly wrong. I am now sad that I was so weak tonight, and I obviously am now unable to sleep. I'm not going to drink again anytime soon, but I guess I am just grasping for words of encouragement. I miss my sobriety more than ever right now, and although I believe that I will feel fine tomorrow, I don't want this moral hangover to wear off. 94 was more than a number to me, it wasnt about the health, fun, or success with or without alcohol, the fact that I was sober gave me the pride of having control. I realize now that the sense of envy I had for my drinking friends was a false sense of jealousy. I believe I needed this night, but its tough to be so weak that I needed to put myself through hell in order to recognize that although not drinking, I was truly happy for the first time in many years. Sorry for rambling on, Im so thankful that you are all here to support me in my time of weakness.

ACT10Npack

Sorry about your anxiety problems. You should see your doctor about that he or she may may think you need to take some anti-depression pills for it. Don't worry too much about the numbers of days you were sober. What matter if your happy being sober. Being happy at the end is all what matters.

Try to get some sleep and just use this as a learning experience but you don't want to kick yourself too hard that you want to go on a bender or anything.

Remember 94 is just a number. Stay sober and get something sleep. Tomorrow is a new day.

OorWullie

I'm just new to this forum and haven't drank since Wednesday. Then, I drank a bottle of wine after six days being sober and I felt terrible for letting myself down. I know i need to stop and reading about everyone's experiences has been a huge learning curve and very reassuring and helpful. Not sure what to say to you other than don't beat yourself up too much about a blip.

CaiHong

Hi Stoolie,
I am just over 90 days myself. I think it is great, in that you went out and tested the waters and preferred to be sober. That's encouraging.
Why did you pick up? Was it because of the anxiety problem and the not sleeping?
CaiHong

Dee74

Many of us had some false steps Stoolie.

I think everyone wants to test the waters again sometime and discover that somehow, magically, we can swim now....it never works that way tho. The 'successes' of boozing are false and hollow.

You can have everything you had in those 90 days again though - and this time you have some extra revelations and extra knowledge to boot

dust yourself off and start all over again

D

instant

The future is in front of you. The past is behind. You are where you are.

Hevyn

Hi Stoolie. Glad you came clean about it. After what happened, you'll be more determined this time - you can do this.

eJoshua

Cheer up bud, it's not the end of the world. Most of us failed a lot before finding any success. I didn't think it would ever stick, personally. I figured the only thing that would happen would be that I would drink myself to death because I couldn't stay sober. Try to learn from it and get up and try again.

Anna

Be sure to learn what you can from this experience and move on.

You might want to journal your thoughts, so that you can remember your words about how you feel today. You can do this!

sugarbear1

Thank you for your honesty. You can stay stopped again! I wish you well. Peace & prayers to you.

My anxiety comes when I want to control things I can't. It also comes when I worry about the past or the future. I try to stay in the moment now. It takes effort.

Are you in any recovery program? In person support helps me.

Be well and be nice to yourself!