Feeling Overwhelmed
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Feeling Overwhelmed
Feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything right now. I've got a list of things in my head that aren't going right and are causing me stress. Trying to figure out some solutions to them.
On a side note, my SO had a court hearing yesterday morning. The legal problems stem from his lack of paying child support. He's now sober, going on 2 years, and is looking forward to getting things taken care of legally and finally taking on his financial responsibilities as a father.
So, Tuesday night I completely broke down about what might happen at court. I knew, logically, that what I thought would happen was worse case scenario I just couldn't help myself. I'm not much of a crier but man, I lost it. My emotions are really out of whack because of the pregnancy. I felt like I needed to be the strong one and encourage SO that everything would turn out ok but on the inside I was freaking out. I called my sponsor and she mostly talked me off the ledge. Of course, things at the hearing went nothing like what I had conjured in my head. Things are moving slowly but each step brings him closer to getting things taken care of (hopefully without serving time in jail).
So, what's stressing me out these days?
I'm pregnant at 36.
Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited but scared at the same time.
SO is a full-time student and has very little income.
We're broke as a joke and now have MANY added expenses.
I'm quickly growing out of my clothes. Currently I have 3 pairs of pants that semi-fit. I have no money to get what I need.
As I type this .... I now realize the majority of this stress is financial. I know I'm not the only one who stresses over such things and I have it much better than lots of people. I'm just trying to figure out how to walk through this stress/fear without losing it. I tend to act tough while inside I'm screaming for help. It's something I've been working on changing, especially since getting sober, and I am getting better. It seems I call my sponsor now more than ever.
I'm thinking about getting a PT weekend job to help with the bills.
I also plan to apply for WIC and possibly ask for assistance from local resources.
Damn it's hard to ask for help.
Especially, I think, because my job pays me pretty well and I mostly feel like my inability to cover my expenses is because I've failed to budget properly (which is sometimes the case) or that simply, I'm a failure.
Thanks for letting me vent.
I know things are on the right path and they will get better. Not on my time line for sure.
On a side note, my SO had a court hearing yesterday morning. The legal problems stem from his lack of paying child support. He's now sober, going on 2 years, and is looking forward to getting things taken care of legally and finally taking on his financial responsibilities as a father.
So, Tuesday night I completely broke down about what might happen at court. I knew, logically, that what I thought would happen was worse case scenario I just couldn't help myself. I'm not much of a crier but man, I lost it. My emotions are really out of whack because of the pregnancy. I felt like I needed to be the strong one and encourage SO that everything would turn out ok but on the inside I was freaking out. I called my sponsor and she mostly talked me off the ledge. Of course, things at the hearing went nothing like what I had conjured in my head. Things are moving slowly but each step brings him closer to getting things taken care of (hopefully without serving time in jail).
So, what's stressing me out these days?
I'm pregnant at 36.
Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited but scared at the same time.
SO is a full-time student and has very little income.
We're broke as a joke and now have MANY added expenses.
I'm quickly growing out of my clothes. Currently I have 3 pairs of pants that semi-fit. I have no money to get what I need.
As I type this .... I now realize the majority of this stress is financial. I know I'm not the only one who stresses over such things and I have it much better than lots of people. I'm just trying to figure out how to walk through this stress/fear without losing it. I tend to act tough while inside I'm screaming for help. It's something I've been working on changing, especially since getting sober, and I am getting better. It seems I call my sponsor now more than ever.
I'm thinking about getting a PT weekend job to help with the bills.
I also plan to apply for WIC and possibly ask for assistance from local resources.
Damn it's hard to ask for help.
Especially, I think, because my job pays me pretty well and I mostly feel like my inability to cover my expenses is because I've failed to budget properly (which is sometimes the case) or that simply, I'm a failure.
Thanks for letting me vent.
I know things are on the right path and they will get better. Not on my time line for sure.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
Hi PD,
I'm sorry you're feeling so emotional right now.
It's not too late to work on a new budget, especially with a baby coming. If there are places in your budget where you can cut back, in order to spend some money on maternity clothes and baby necessities, then try to find it. Also, most cities have stores that sell baby clothes, furniture and maternity clothes too. Maybe that would help.
I'm sorry you're feeling so emotional right now.
It's not too late to work on a new budget, especially with a baby coming. If there are places in your budget where you can cut back, in order to spend some money on maternity clothes and baby necessities, then try to find it. Also, most cities have stores that sell baby clothes, furniture and maternity clothes too. Maybe that would help.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Please remember also that you are EXTREMELY HORMONAL and with those of us in recovery and when pregnant we start 'over analyzing' as to what I am NOT doing and I 'should' be doing this or I 'should' be doing that and in reality it is just the HORMONES.
Ease up on yourself. You are NOT Super Woman and do NOT need to be. Yes things are stressful, and stress will aggravate those hormones also, so now is the time to be 'nicer' to you. If that means just a nice 'bubble bath' and a cup of lovely tea.
Now is really the time for "Easy Does It".
Know that we are walking with you in spirit.
Love and hugs,
Ease up on yourself. You are NOT Super Woman and do NOT need to be. Yes things are stressful, and stress will aggravate those hormones also, so now is the time to be 'nicer' to you. If that means just a nice 'bubble bath' and a cup of lovely tea.
Now is really the time for "Easy Does It".
Know that we are walking with you in spirit.
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: in this vessel
Posts: 304
Look up some consignment shops in your area. Id go to the rich neighborhood consinment shops and find super trendy comfy maternity clothes for cheap. Accomplishing just one thing on your list will feel like you conquered the world.
Pregnant and nursing moms qualify for WIC. The income guidelines are pretty relaxed. I believe you're able to get fresh fruits and veggies as well. It used to only be milk cheese eggs and juice.
Pregnant and nursing moms qualify for WIC. The income guidelines are pretty relaxed. I believe you're able to get fresh fruits and veggies as well. It used to only be milk cheese eggs and juice.
Guest
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Sunny FL
Posts: 647
I'm sorry you have all these worries. It is tough having a child in this economy. One you could do to save some money is check out the thrift stores. When I lost all my weight I had to go buy an entire wardrobe. There were some really clean stores with good stuff. I just had to look around. You can find some great deals. Look around at garage sales too. You can find some good used stuff for the baby there. I know its hard but try not to stress too much. You have a lot on your plate right now but baby and mom need to be healthy. You are sober, you have a loving mate that is getting his life together, and baby is going to bless your life beyond words. Good luck love. Things will work out. If you have faith in God, he will provide some how.
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Good lord. I almost cried reading your replies! *rolls eyes*
I've got a lot of good things going for me and I know it. It's just so easy to become overwhelmed by the things that aren't going right that I forget.
My SO is amazing. He has been (and always does really) pampering me.
Fixes me food at all hours of the day. Draws me baths. Rubs my back. He's amazing.
I have a great support system of family and friends that I tend to use more often than I used to. I have a job and health care.
And.
Of course.
I'm sober.
Something else that may be helping with my crazy emotions is that I've weaned off of Cymbalta. It's something I've wanted to do for sometime and was forced to do because of the pregnancy. The withdraws are something else. Ugh. It'll get better in time and I know that.
I'm stressing because of the weight I've been gaining. I know, I know. I'm supposed to gain weight but I'm gaining rapidly and I wasn't a real small girl to begin with. It'll be ok and I know that.
We did recently do a budget. We're about $200 in the hole each month if we get the amount of groceries we'd like to. The only thing we can really cut is cable TV which is happening tomorrow. It still keeps us in the red but we'll make do some how.
Thank you all for your support!!
I've got a lot of good things going for me and I know it. It's just so easy to become overwhelmed by the things that aren't going right that I forget.
My SO is amazing. He has been (and always does really) pampering me.
Fixes me food at all hours of the day. Draws me baths. Rubs my back. He's amazing.
I have a great support system of family and friends that I tend to use more often than I used to. I have a job and health care.
And.
Of course.
I'm sober.
Something else that may be helping with my crazy emotions is that I've weaned off of Cymbalta. It's something I've wanted to do for sometime and was forced to do because of the pregnancy. The withdraws are something else. Ugh. It'll get better in time and I know that.
I'm stressing because of the weight I've been gaining. I know, I know. I'm supposed to gain weight but I'm gaining rapidly and I wasn't a real small girl to begin with. It'll be ok and I know that.
We did recently do a budget. We're about $200 in the hole each month if we get the amount of groceries we'd like to. The only thing we can really cut is cable TV which is happening tomorrow. It still keeps us in the red but we'll make do some how.
Thank you all for your support!!
Guest
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Sunny FL
Posts: 647
Originally Posted by PaperDolls 
Good lord. I almost cried reading your replies! *rolls eyes*
I've got a lot of good things going for me and I know it. It's just so easy to become overwhelmed by the things that aren't going right that I forget.
My SO is amazing. He has been (and always does really) pampering me.
Fixes me food at all hours of the day. Draws me baths. Rubs my back. He's amazing.
I have a great support system of family and friends that I tend to use more often than I used to. I have a job and health care.
And.
Of course.
I'm sober.
Something else that may be helping with my crazy emotions is that I've weaned off of Cymbalta. It's something I've wanted to do for sometime and was forced to do because of the pregnancy. The withdraws are something else. Ugh. It'll get better in time and I know that.
I'm stressing because of the weight I've been gaining. I know, I know. I'm supposed to gain weight but I'm gaining rapidly and I wasn't a real small girl to begin with. It'll be ok and I know that.
We did recently do a budget. We're about $200 in the hole each month if we get the amount of groceries we'd like to. The only thing we can really cut is cable TV which is happening tomorrow. It still keeps us in the red but we'll make do some how.
Thank you all for your support!!
I've got a lot of good things going for me and I know it. It's just so easy to become overwhelmed by the things that aren't going right that I forget.
My SO is amazing. He has been (and always does really) pampering me.
Fixes me food at all hours of the day. Draws me baths. Rubs my back. He's amazing.
I have a great support system of family and friends that I tend to use more often than I used to. I have a job and health care.
And.
Of course.
I'm sober.
Something else that may be helping with my crazy emotions is that I've weaned off of Cymbalta. It's something I've wanted to do for sometime and was forced to do because of the pregnancy. The withdraws are something else. Ugh. It'll get better in time and I know that.
I'm stressing because of the weight I've been gaining. I know, I know. I'm supposed to gain weight but I'm gaining rapidly and I wasn't a real small girl to begin with. It'll be ok and I know that.
We did recently do a budget. We're about $200 in the hole each month if we get the amount of groceries we'd like to. The only thing we can really cut is cable TV which is happening tomorrow. It still keeps us in the red but we'll make do some how.
Thank you all for your support!!
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
I applied for WIC.
I don't qualify.
I make too much money.
Whatever.
If I quit my job I would qualify for medicaid and wic and all the other stuff.
Instead, I'll work my a$$ off so I can barley afford what I need.
Somehow I'll get by on three pairs of pants for work.
I'll live on mac and cheese and the occasional burger.
Feeling a bit defeated.
Dammit.
I don't qualify.
I make too much money.
Whatever.
If I quit my job I would qualify for medicaid and wic and all the other stuff.
Instead, I'll work my a$$ off so I can barley afford what I need.
Somehow I'll get by on three pairs of pants for work.
I'll live on mac and cheese and the occasional burger.
Feeling a bit defeated.
Dammit.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: in this vessel
Posts: 304
I am truly beyond shocked!!!!!! And disgusted! It's unfortunate when you're in a position to choose welfare over a job! ugh...
Good job on taking care of business despite the impending discouragement. I'm a serious procrastinator even when it comes to important deadlines. I'm not even sure what a deadline is...?
Good job on taking care of business despite the impending discouragement. I'm a serious procrastinator even when it comes to important deadlines. I'm not even sure what a deadline is...?
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
I'm sorry that you are so stressed out during a time that should be filled with only joy!
I agree with the consignment shop idea, and also, check out the Salvation Army is the richer neighborhoods as well. Maternity clothes usually don't get worn out, and you may end up finding some really great stuff!
I'm an extreme couponer. I know everyone always says that there are never coupons for things they use. But are you really that picky about what brand toothpaste you use? Find out whats on sale, and then use a coupon. I've gotten free toothpaste, packages of tortillas for 65 cents, cereal for $1 a box, etc. Look into it, it does take some time, but is so worth it.
I also find that going to the fruit market is usually cheaper than going to the grocery store for fruits and veggies. And usually at those markets that sell meat also, you can get good deals on meat if you buy in bulk. For example, last week, I bought 10lbs of boneless skinless chicken breasts. I only paid 1.49 a pound, because I bought so much. I seperate it and freeze it.
I hope this helps.
I agree with the consignment shop idea, and also, check out the Salvation Army is the richer neighborhoods as well. Maternity clothes usually don't get worn out, and you may end up finding some really great stuff!
I'm an extreme couponer. I know everyone always says that there are never coupons for things they use. But are you really that picky about what brand toothpaste you use? Find out whats on sale, and then use a coupon. I've gotten free toothpaste, packages of tortillas for 65 cents, cereal for $1 a box, etc. Look into it, it does take some time, but is so worth it.
I also find that going to the fruit market is usually cheaper than going to the grocery store for fruits and veggies. And usually at those markets that sell meat also, you can get good deals on meat if you buy in bulk. For example, last week, I bought 10lbs of boneless skinless chicken breasts. I only paid 1.49 a pound, because I bought so much. I seperate it and freeze it.
I hope this helps.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Do you have any food banks nearby? Maybe a salvation army? Try the thrift shops for clothing ....you can find some wonderful things there. Hang in there Paperdolls, you never know what tomorrow brings. We're all pulling for you!
Best Wishes To You!
Best Wishes To You!
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
Perhaps the most important thing I learned in the rooms is that "ODAAT" refers to emotional sobriety -- not living in the past, not projecting into the future, but confining my emotions to the present. Do you have enough to eat today? Do you have a roof over your head? Have you done everything you can today to prepare for tomorrow? If so, give your remaining worries to your HP and pray for the eyes to see opportunities and solutions as they're presented to you.
Both of my biological children were born under less than idea circumstances. They weren't planned, and I faced a whole lot of financial uncertainty. With my son, I had to leave a good paying job (it was a very tenuous pregnancy). When my daughter was born, I was raising two additional boys and their father was only working part-time. Putting aside pride and asking for help was much easier (in my experience) when it was for my child.
For the record, my daughter turns eighteen in less than two months. She's applying to colleges and has everything she needs. Your child already has an advantage that my kids didn't have -- a clean and sober mom from the get-go. Take care of that, and everything else will be okay.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Both of my biological children were born under less than idea circumstances. They weren't planned, and I faced a whole lot of financial uncertainty. With my son, I had to leave a good paying job (it was a very tenuous pregnancy). When my daughter was born, I was raising two additional boys and their father was only working part-time. Putting aside pride and asking for help was much easier (in my experience) when it was for my child.
For the record, my daughter turns eighteen in less than two months. She's applying to colleges and has everything she needs. Your child already has an advantage that my kids didn't have -- a clean and sober mom from the get-go. Take care of that, and everything else will be okay.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Things are feeling less stressful today even though nothing has really changed.
I'm just feeling more calm about it for some reason.
I'm not sleeping well though, I'm experiencing restless leg syndrome. Man, what a strange and annoying sensation!
Also, just got a txt message from my fiance that he "nabbed us a crib"! That's good news.
I'm just feeling more calm about it for some reason.
I'm not sleeping well though, I'm experiencing restless leg syndrome. Man, what a strange and annoying sensation!
Also, just got a txt message from my fiance that he "nabbed us a crib"! That's good news.
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