Conflicts in sobriety
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 95
Conflicts in sobriety
After years of drinking with my friends, I just cant be with them sober. Cant stand it, too many conflicts. I said some things to them a few minutes ago, that it's sole purpose was to hurt them as much as I can with words. I know Im not being a good person doing that, but Im just consumed with anger.
Anyone relate?
Anyone relate?
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 95
Originally Posted by Anna 
Well, I had to make a lot of changes, including people in my life, when I began recovery.
What are you angry about?
What are you angry about?
Well I guess I have to change the people in my life too
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Hi Andre. Early in recovery I was resentful & angry alot of the time. People irritated me for no real reason. Maybe I was jealous they could still drink - not sure. I found I didn't have much in common with most of them, the way I thought I did.
The anxious and irritable feelings did get alot better, and now I'm much calmer & happier. I hope you'll find that to be the case too.
The anxious and irritable feelings did get alot better, and now I'm much calmer & happier. I hope you'll find that to be the case too.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 507
Did you mean you can't be around them when you're sober and they're not? Or that now that you're sober, you can't be around them at all?
If it's when they aren't sober, make plans to do things that don't involve them drinking.
If they trigger anger all the time, perhaps you need to take a break from them for now.
If it's when they aren't sober, make plans to do things that don't involve them drinking.
If they trigger anger all the time, perhaps you need to take a break from them for now.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 95
Originally Posted by silly
Did you mean you can't be around them when you're sober and they're not? Or that now that you're sober, you can't be around them at all?
If it's when they aren't sober, make plans to do things that don't involve them drinking.
If they trigger anger all the time, perhaps you need to take a break from them for now.
If it's when they aren't sober, make plans to do things that don't involve them drinking.
If they trigger anger all the time, perhaps you need to take a break from them for now.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 507
How long have you been sober? I know that in the initial days and weeks of sobriety, the entire world irritated me. I even remember catching myself being rude to my boss! Give yourself a break. Maybe you can avoid them for some period of time and see if your feelings improve.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Scotland
Posts: 143
I find it difficult to be with some of my friends unless I drink. We met through drink and we have drunk together for years in bars, at clubs, concerts and festivals etc. I'm really not that sure we have much in common other than alcohol and a history of booze-related events. They are all heavy drinkers too so I havent even spoken to them about my fears that I have a serious problem as they would probably just tell me to stop being ridiculous.
now i feel like there's a massive void in my life.
now i feel like there's a massive void in my life.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
I still see some of my old drinking buddies. However, when they start drinking, usually about 8 PM, I find an excuse to leave. Not because I can't stay sober around them, but simply because I don't enjoy their company when they drink.
As far as seeing my old drinking buddies that drank all day long? That sort of worked itself out. They all died or ended up in prison.
As far as seeing my old drinking buddies that drank all day long? That sort of worked itself out. They all died or ended up in prison.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 95
Originally Posted by OorWullie
I find it difficult to be with some of my friends unless I drink. We met through drink and we have drunk together for years in bars, at clubs, concerts and festivals etc. I'm really not that sure we have much in common other than alcohol and a history of booze-related events. They are all heavy drinkers too so I havent even spoken to them about my fears that I have a serious problem as they would probably just tell me to stop being ridiculous.
now i feel like there's a massive void in my life.
now i feel like there's a massive void in my life.
Guest
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Sunny FL
Posts: 647
Originally Posted by Boleo
I still see some of my old drinking buddies. However, when they start drinking, usually about 8 PM, I find an excuse to leave. Not because I can't stay sober around them, but simply because I don't enjoy their company when they drink.
As far as seeing my old drinking buddies that drank all day long? That sort of worked itself out. They all died or ended up in prison.
As far as seeing my old drinking buddies that drank all day long? That sort of worked itself out. They all died or ended up in prison.
Ouch
Guest
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Sunny FL
Posts: 647
I lost all my friends due to alcohol. Really looking forward to meeting new sober friends. At 2 months, people still annoy me. I stay by myself mostly. Strange because I always hated to be alone. Now I would rather.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
By the end of my drinking career, all my friends drank like I did.
When I stopped drinking - either they got angry and nasty with me for not drinking, or I got nasty and resentful at them for drinking...
then there were the guys trying to get me back 'in'...
I needed to break away and make some real changes, Andre.
D
When I stopped drinking - either they got angry and nasty with me for not drinking, or I got nasty and resentful at them for drinking...
then there were the guys trying to get me back 'in'...
I needed to break away and make some real changes, Andre.
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 95
Im just thinking that, maybe, just maybe Im wrong.
Im deeply dissatisfied with my whole life, everything that happened over the years and such. Im also deeply jealous of some people. Im trying to make up for lost time working and studying and bossing people arround too much.
Im either drinking all the time and being extremely lazy or Im working/studying like a maniac. Cant seem to ever find any balance
But I cant blame other people also. And Im also thinking maybe life shouldnt be just this game of who gets more succesfull.
Im deeply dissatisfied with my whole life, everything that happened over the years and such. Im also deeply jealous of some people. Im trying to make up for lost time working and studying and bossing people arround too much.
Im either drinking all the time and being extremely lazy or Im working/studying like a maniac. Cant seem to ever find any balance
But I cant blame other people also. And Im also thinking maybe life shouldnt be just this game of who gets more succesfull.
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Part of my sobriety has been learning how to be still and be ok with being still. I'm not sure the right term for this... but I know what you mean because I kept going between being a raging alcoholic to being a raging sober drunk, working 12 hour days and volunteering on the side.
Now I try to slow myself down and tell myself that it's ok, that life isn't a race, and that being sober isn't about having some kind of new found super power that enables me to conquer the world, being sober is about not drinking.
Best of luck.
Now I try to slow myself down and tell myself that it's ok, that life isn't a race, and that being sober isn't about having some kind of new found super power that enables me to conquer the world, being sober is about not drinking.
Best of luck.
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