Intro and me
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 2
Intro and me
So I guess this is mostly an introduction and a massive question.
My name is Andrew, I'm only 21 (22 in October), and I'm a 4th year engineering student. I love to play guitar, read about evolution, physics, chemistry, and anything that will expand me intellectually. I love playing video games (as opposed to television), for the interactive entertainment experience.
However, since I started drinking, I have now noticed what seems to be an addiction that is slightly hard to beat. This summer was the worst for me as I was in the town I go to college in, away from parents, and of age. I worked a job that didn't require me to be at work until 4 or 5 pm each day. And I found myself indulging in alcoholic beverages just about every other night. Now I know this isn't as bad as some of the stories I've read on here (yes I lurked for a bit), but it doesn't mean that I'd like to catch it earlier rather than later.
The biggest question I have is, at this point, how to detect whether or not I'm truly and absolutely an alcoholic. I don't get angry, relationships have not been disparaged, and I don't miss work or class or any important events due to alcohol. I just don't like how often I choose to drink, and I emphasize choose. Each and every time I decide to drink, I think to myself, do I need this? And every time answer is no, and sometimes I just decide not to drink and move on. Other times still the answer is I 100% do not need this, but choose to do it anyhow.
The problem for me is I do not like the frequency with which I drink, and I wish that I was better at making it an extended amount of time without alcohol. I'm curious of other's opinions, and if there is anything I can do to nip this before it becomes a serious problem, and can still enjoy a drink here and there before it's too late.
My name is Andrew, I'm only 21 (22 in October), and I'm a 4th year engineering student. I love to play guitar, read about evolution, physics, chemistry, and anything that will expand me intellectually. I love playing video games (as opposed to television), for the interactive entertainment experience.
However, since I started drinking, I have now noticed what seems to be an addiction that is slightly hard to beat. This summer was the worst for me as I was in the town I go to college in, away from parents, and of age. I worked a job that didn't require me to be at work until 4 or 5 pm each day. And I found myself indulging in alcoholic beverages just about every other night. Now I know this isn't as bad as some of the stories I've read on here (yes I lurked for a bit), but it doesn't mean that I'd like to catch it earlier rather than later.
The biggest question I have is, at this point, how to detect whether or not I'm truly and absolutely an alcoholic. I don't get angry, relationships have not been disparaged, and I don't miss work or class or any important events due to alcohol. I just don't like how often I choose to drink, and I emphasize choose. Each and every time I decide to drink, I think to myself, do I need this? And every time answer is no, and sometimes I just decide not to drink and move on. Other times still the answer is I 100% do not need this, but choose to do it anyhow.
The problem for me is I do not like the frequency with which I drink, and I wish that I was better at making it an extended amount of time without alcohol. I'm curious of other's opinions, and if there is anything I can do to nip this before it becomes a serious problem, and can still enjoy a drink here and there before it's too late.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Hi Andrew
Welcome to SR
I think a lot of us get caught up in the A word sometimes.
I actually think it's more beneficial to simply ask yourself in what ways is your drinking a problem, and what can I do about it - now?
I think actions more important than defining ourselves, at least in the beginning
You can decide for yourself what exactly you are down the track
D
Welcome to SR
I think a lot of us get caught up in the A word sometimes.
I actually think it's more beneficial to simply ask yourself in what ways is your drinking a problem, and what can I do about it - now?
I think actions more important than defining ourselves, at least in the beginning
You can decide for yourself what exactly you are down the track
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome to the forum, Andrew!
A couple of things in your post did ring a bell, for example:
If you find it hard to cut down, or suspect you may have a problem, it's really smart to look at it now just like you're doing. I applaud you for that......
It's not necessary to wait until we're sure thing are really bad to take some action. You find lots of ideas and support here if you want to make a change.....
A couple of things in your post did ring a bell, for example:
Other times still the answer is I 100% do not need this, but choose to do it anyhow.
It's not necessary to wait until we're sure thing are really bad to take some action. You find lots of ideas and support here if you want to make a change.....
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Andrew - Welcome to SR! It's great you are sorting this out now. I would love to go back to being in my 20's & ask these questions. It never dawned on me that one day I'd need alcohol to function - but it happened.
Please keep reading & posting - we're here to help.
Please keep reading & posting - we're here to help.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
Like the other say, it's better off not worrying about the A word. Just stop drinking for the time be and focus on school and work for now. Don't worry about your college friends that you don't drink. A lot of them will have problems because of the parting and heavy alcohol drinking goes now.
Questions
1. Do you drink to get drunk?
2. Do you feel guilty about your drinking?
3. Do you drink alone?
4. Do you have any alcoholics/problem drinkers in your family?
5. Do you suffer with depression/anxiety?
6. Do you drink because your shy?
Some question you can ask yourself.
Good luck and welcome here.
Questions
1. Do you drink to get drunk?
2. Do you feel guilty about your drinking?
3. Do you drink alone?
4. Do you have any alcoholics/problem drinkers in your family?
5. Do you suffer with depression/anxiety?
6. Do you drink because your shy?
Some question you can ask yourself.
Good luck and welcome here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by ACT10Npack 
Like the other say, it's better off not worrying about the A word. Just stop drinking for the time be and focus on school and work for now. Don't worry about your college friends that you don't drink. A lot of them will have problems because of the parting and heavy alcohol drinking goes now.
Questions
1. Do you drink to get drunk?
2. Do you feel guilty about your drinking?
3. Do you drink alone?
4. Do you have any alcoholics/problem drinkers in your family?
5. Do you suffer with depression/anxiety?
6. Do you drink because your shy?
Some question you can ask yourself.
Good luck and welcome here.
Questions
1. Do you drink to get drunk?
2. Do you feel guilty about your drinking?
3. Do you drink alone?
4. Do you have any alcoholics/problem drinkers in your family?
5. Do you suffer with depression/anxiety?
6. Do you drink because your shy?
Some question you can ask yourself.
Good luck and welcome here.
2. Not about my drinking when I drink, or after, just the frequency. In other words, I don't regret anything that I do after consumption.
3. Sometimes yes, but I'm extremely introverted and am in some cases happiest when I'm alone. Mostly though, it is with one or two people.
4. Possibly yes, though I'm not sure that they were problem drinkers, neither of my parents are.
5. Nope.
6. Nope.
Idk if this would help in terms of a diagnosis of sorts, just felt compelled to answer.
EDIT:
And to reiterate on question #1. It really honestly depends on your definition of drunk. I'm a lightweight, but can drink quite a lot. In better terms, I feel the effects quickly, but can handle a lot of alcohol. So sometimes after two or three drinks I would classify myself as "drunk", so really, without having a physical or scientifically attainable definition of "drunk", other than BAC (what I mean by this is something that can be ascertained without blood tests or a breathalyzer) the term "drunk" is extremely arbitrary from one person to the next.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Andrew,
You came here for a reason. What you need to ask yourself is why you went in search of information about whether you are in personal trouble with yourself by your drinking.
But there is a more important question you need to answer. How did you relax after a stressful day before you were of age to drink? Or, if as some have been and are, you were a regular drinker earlier than legal age, how did you deal with a stressful day’s end before that?
I am a recovering alcoholic. I started just like you did. And as Symmetry said so well, I never questioned my drinking until I was already unable to stop.
The standard answer is for you to stop drinking for 30 days and see if you can relax another way. Maybe going to a gym, running, doing calisthenics, riding a bike or motorcycle, sail a boat, swim, climb a mountain or rock, go spelunking, take a walk in the woods, go to an actual movie theater and see a movie, etc.
If you can't stop drinking to try alternatives, whether you think it is not something you want to do, or whatever other reason you come up with, the real deal is, if you can't stop, regardless of why you think you are choosing not to try abstaining from alcohol for a month, well, then you answered your own question didn't you?
Someone without an alcohol problem can stop easily for a month. Having a problem with alcohol is actually misstated in my book. It is really having a problem without alcohol. Not being able to deal with any aspect of life without alcohol, be that relaxing, facing boredom, listening to music, meeting up with friends and doing something other than drinking, means you have a problem being without alcohol.
I was the same way. No horror stories, no legal issues, no driving under the influence because I might hurt me or my vehicles, no fighting or aggression when drinking because I was so normal when drinking many people who found out I had to go to a hospital to detox were shocked. No one has ever that they know of seen me drunk. My tolerance was so high at the end I had to drink to be normal and not shake and vomit and ache from head to toe unless I drank as soon as I woke up. Even then no one realized I was spiking my coffee with scotch doubles and triples and then switching to beer after 6 or 7 coffees spiked for the rest of the day.
I detested being drunk, slurring my words, stumbling or making a fool of myself. It is not as rare as you may think for people in bad trouble with "being without alcohol" not being easy to spot. I was still apparently not much more than a normal person who has had only 2 or three drinks tops, when I had already had 20 units (1 beer, I 6 oz. glass of wine, one ounce hard liquor) by 5 PM before most folks had their first drink. They would think I was one or maybe two drinks ahead of them.
I started out just like you are doing. Not drinking all day 24/7, only drinking after work to relax. I remember when a six pack of bud lasted a month in my fridge and two beers too quickly gave me a mild headache and felt like too much when I was in my early thirties. Of course I had over indulged many times in the previous 10 or 12 years but that maybe once every six months not every weekend. And in between I had no problems with being without alcohol. I didn't look forward to that first drink after work or even think about one during the day or when I got home. Holidays and special events (New Year's Eve) were about it.
I didn't have a problem with alcohol then.
I also didn't have a problem without alcohol then either.
If someone asked me to try not drinking for a month I would have looked at them like they had lost their mind! I probably would respond that the last time I had a drink was a month or two ago what do you mean?
No one has a problem with alcohol here or even non-drinkers away from these forums. Some of us do have a problem without alcohol.
It took about five years for me to go from not having a problem without alcohol to having a problem without alcohol. I depended on it for any relaxation; that was my reason and I believed it. Then I realized I had a problem without alcohol and decided that as long as I wasn't stumbling and slurring, or behaving badly or driving it was OK.
I quit my job because the stress had me drinking a 12 pack some nights and all day weekends. I was lucky enough to have done well enough to retire early. I realized that since most "normal" folks drank at noon on weekends while outdoors since I was on weekends all week I could start with a beer at noon too and continue as long as I wasn't doing any of the above. Then my tolerance increased faster and I woke up so ill I thought I would die without hair of the dog, even though I didn't show it I was still putting at least 30 units a day through my body. My body reacted the same as if my tolerance wasn't so high and started to deteriorate. I tried to quit every morning and thought it was a major victory to have my first coffee without booze in it. Of course that was a victory so I decided to celebrate by what the heck having scotch in my second.
I had a problem without alcohol that was going to kill me.
I still didn't have a problem with alcohol then from my perspective. The alcohol was fine, I had a problem with me, and all I needed to do is back off a little. Alcohol was good; I was just a little overdoing it that was all.
But I did have a problem without alcohol.
On the 21st of this month I will have one year of sobriety. I no longer have a problem without alcohol. As long as I don't drink, I also don't have a problem with alcohol.
It is obvious I am older than you are. I didn't realize how genetically favored I was in that up until that last year of drinking I had no health issues. I still have no cholesterol or other issues, but just went for my echocardiogram. You see all that drinking over the years hardened my arteries and weakened my heart so I now may get congestive heart failure. If I only didn't have the problem without alcohol for just a couple of years earlier I would not have an issue now. But that is fine. I am alive and unlike many who silently or loudly drank themselves to death, I can have a few years of living and not have a problem without alcohol.
This isn't about good or bad. It has nothing to do with morals. A criminal, pervert, murderer, adulterer, is much better off health wise than one that has a problem without alcohol.
Just like a moral person is, who does not have a problem without alcohol.
So don't ask if you have a problem with alcohol. No one does. Ask instead if you have a problem without alcohol. I have no problem going a month without alcohol now, and I am an alcoholic. How about you?
You came here for a reason. What you need to ask yourself is why you went in search of information about whether you are in personal trouble with yourself by your drinking.
But there is a more important question you need to answer. How did you relax after a stressful day before you were of age to drink? Or, if as some have been and are, you were a regular drinker earlier than legal age, how did you deal with a stressful day’s end before that?
I am a recovering alcoholic. I started just like you did. And as Symmetry said so well, I never questioned my drinking until I was already unable to stop.
The standard answer is for you to stop drinking for 30 days and see if you can relax another way. Maybe going to a gym, running, doing calisthenics, riding a bike or motorcycle, sail a boat, swim, climb a mountain or rock, go spelunking, take a walk in the woods, go to an actual movie theater and see a movie, etc.
If you can't stop drinking to try alternatives, whether you think it is not something you want to do, or whatever other reason you come up with, the real deal is, if you can't stop, regardless of why you think you are choosing not to try abstaining from alcohol for a month, well, then you answered your own question didn't you?
Someone without an alcohol problem can stop easily for a month. Having a problem with alcohol is actually misstated in my book. It is really having a problem without alcohol. Not being able to deal with any aspect of life without alcohol, be that relaxing, facing boredom, listening to music, meeting up with friends and doing something other than drinking, means you have a problem being without alcohol.
I was the same way. No horror stories, no legal issues, no driving under the influence because I might hurt me or my vehicles, no fighting or aggression when drinking because I was so normal when drinking many people who found out I had to go to a hospital to detox were shocked. No one has ever that they know of seen me drunk. My tolerance was so high at the end I had to drink to be normal and not shake and vomit and ache from head to toe unless I drank as soon as I woke up. Even then no one realized I was spiking my coffee with scotch doubles and triples and then switching to beer after 6 or 7 coffees spiked for the rest of the day.
I detested being drunk, slurring my words, stumbling or making a fool of myself. It is not as rare as you may think for people in bad trouble with "being without alcohol" not being easy to spot. I was still apparently not much more than a normal person who has had only 2 or three drinks tops, when I had already had 20 units (1 beer, I 6 oz. glass of wine, one ounce hard liquor) by 5 PM before most folks had their first drink. They would think I was one or maybe two drinks ahead of them.
I started out just like you are doing. Not drinking all day 24/7, only drinking after work to relax. I remember when a six pack of bud lasted a month in my fridge and two beers too quickly gave me a mild headache and felt like too much when I was in my early thirties. Of course I had over indulged many times in the previous 10 or 12 years but that maybe once every six months not every weekend. And in between I had no problems with being without alcohol. I didn't look forward to that first drink after work or even think about one during the day or when I got home. Holidays and special events (New Year's Eve) were about it.
I didn't have a problem with alcohol then.
I also didn't have a problem without alcohol then either.
If someone asked me to try not drinking for a month I would have looked at them like they had lost their mind! I probably would respond that the last time I had a drink was a month or two ago what do you mean?
No one has a problem with alcohol here or even non-drinkers away from these forums. Some of us do have a problem without alcohol.
It took about five years for me to go from not having a problem without alcohol to having a problem without alcohol. I depended on it for any relaxation; that was my reason and I believed it. Then I realized I had a problem without alcohol and decided that as long as I wasn't stumbling and slurring, or behaving badly or driving it was OK.
I quit my job because the stress had me drinking a 12 pack some nights and all day weekends. I was lucky enough to have done well enough to retire early. I realized that since most "normal" folks drank at noon on weekends while outdoors since I was on weekends all week I could start with a beer at noon too and continue as long as I wasn't doing any of the above. Then my tolerance increased faster and I woke up so ill I thought I would die without hair of the dog, even though I didn't show it I was still putting at least 30 units a day through my body. My body reacted the same as if my tolerance wasn't so high and started to deteriorate. I tried to quit every morning and thought it was a major victory to have my first coffee without booze in it. Of course that was a victory so I decided to celebrate by what the heck having scotch in my second.
I had a problem without alcohol that was going to kill me.
I still didn't have a problem with alcohol then from my perspective. The alcohol was fine, I had a problem with me, and all I needed to do is back off a little. Alcohol was good; I was just a little overdoing it that was all.
But I did have a problem without alcohol.
On the 21st of this month I will have one year of sobriety. I no longer have a problem without alcohol. As long as I don't drink, I also don't have a problem with alcohol.
It is obvious I am older than you are. I didn't realize how genetically favored I was in that up until that last year of drinking I had no health issues. I still have no cholesterol or other issues, but just went for my echocardiogram. You see all that drinking over the years hardened my arteries and weakened my heart so I now may get congestive heart failure. If I only didn't have the problem without alcohol for just a couple of years earlier I would not have an issue now. But that is fine. I am alive and unlike many who silently or loudly drank themselves to death, I can have a few years of living and not have a problem without alcohol.
This isn't about good or bad. It has nothing to do with morals. A criminal, pervert, murderer, adulterer, is much better off health wise than one that has a problem without alcohol.
Just like a moral person is, who does not have a problem without alcohol.
So don't ask if you have a problem with alcohol. No one does. Ask instead if you have a problem without alcohol. I have no problem going a month without alcohol now, and I am an alcoholic. How about you?
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
