RaleighGirl

Hey gang! I have made it since july 18th of this year and proud. My teen is proud of me, and that means a lot to me. I want a drink. Just wine but I want a glass so bad I am really depressed. I had time since sober to see the mess I made of my house, life, social life...I can handle all that, but now I am very bored and lonely. I have actually been crying for two days now in private. I just want one glass of wine. I know you have all been there. I have no friends since I am in a new city and I guess my rose (or booze) colored glasses are off. Looking for some motivation here Love you all...

Anna

Hi RaleighGirl,

Congratulations on your sober time!

Why don't you take a look around your new community and see what you can do to help. As a volunteer you will help others and get a chance to meet new, sober people.

RaleighGirl

I think that is a great idea, I need to get out in a positive way are my feelings normal? I mean it has been over a month! I am hanging in there

Boleo

Welcome to the world of "normal". Normal people feel bored and lonely sometimes to. It is only us alki's who try to sweep this fact of life under the rug.

I had to learn some new coping skills after getting sober. Like gaining some sober friends. Getting some new hobbies like reading. Learning to meditate.

Try studying some Easter Religion or Yoga.

Pumpkin Soup

Hi and congrats on your sober time.

Have you seen your Dr about how you feel?

Im just 3 months sober and after the initial pink cloud wore off (around 2/3 weeks) Ive been feeling tired all the time, no energy or enthusiasm for anything. Turned out to be depression I just couldnt see it myself. Its a common problem for people with drinking problems.

May be worth having a chat with your Dr - no point in suffering needlessly while you are also undertaking the huge battle against the booze.

I wish you the best of luck.

suki44883

There is something called the HALT rule. Make sure you aren't:

Hungry
Angry
Lonely, or
Tired

Those four things make it easier to listen to that little voice that tells you that you can have just one glass of wine.

sugarbear1

Try to be with other sober people. Find a program of recovery. My disease wants me dead. It tells me lies and I want to listen.

Stay stopped!

TheOjibway84

Congratulations on staying sober. Like everybody else said. Get out there and find some new stuff to do. Anything that doesn't involve drinking or drinkers around. I'm only 2 and a half weeks sober and I had to look into alot of things in myself in order to try to stay sober for good this time around. I did the same thing where I got bored and I was isolated in my little room I rented with no one to talk to at night because I worked the night shift and that led me to want to drink and I've been battling alcoholism for 6 years now. I know alot of people go through drinking for 30 years or more because stopping. I drank myself like crazy to equal the amount of consumption by a 30 year drinker. I drank hard and long and sometimes for days without eating. The feelings of regret always lingered even though sometimes I felt satisfied that I drank. But the huge blow was when I'd stay sober for a good long time and everyone around me being so proud of me would crumble after I drank again and then everyone had resentments. Earlier on when I tried to stay sober, the parents forgived me the 1st and second time I drank again. I'd done it so many times now they just started getting more and more angry. Trust me, if you haven't already, don't drink again. it's not worth it! You'll start at the bottom again and the more times you keep drinking the less everyone will believe you want to quit. I hope I helped saomewhat This place has helped me raise my spirits and AA has helped me alot too. Keep working hard and you'll pull through as I will do the same good luck

CaiHong

What else are you doing besides just not drinking? Good for you for posting how you are feeling. SIt is time to do something else to keep sober.

RaleighGirl

Oh my goodness, I am HALTing. I really am, my Dr. is wonderful and knows about my quitting since he helped me tremendously with that. She even hugged me after 30 days I am on Lexapro and it is working for my anxiety very well. However I do recognize this is purely from stopping the booze and the body changes I am going through..Like I didnt notice the 30 lbs in 4 years ! I am going to try some meditation for sure, but just seeing what you have done, as a heavy drinker, it is like someone else lived her. You guys are really helping me tonight ( and so is my puppy who keeps insisting on laying on my back )

RaleighGirl

wow that is so me right now! You are making it through, congrats!

Terminally Unique

You can't just sit around and wait for the other shoe to drop. The lack of a plan not to drink is often a plan to drink. What is your plan, RaleighGirl?

Surely, you can find something to counter that horrible boredom. Reading, exercising, even the idiot box would be better than drinking. If you need to chat just to kill time, there is the chat room here.

RaleighGirl

I go to work, and come home, repeat, and rinse. Drinking filled in the gap parts. I see I really need to get out there. I was a cant wait to get home alki. home from work, minor outing, the store, so I could drink in private from dark till 2am.
I look normal. People say I am so much fun. you are are like me, and I am glad I found you all. Now I need to fill all those voids my ex husband the Kapt'n Morgan made for me

RaleighGirl

I think the novelty of "wow you quit drinking" has wore off now. Now the real work begins for me now. I am going to read more threads and keep going with all your great advice!

ButterflyMan

I can relate, I've separated from my girlfriend and my crutch in the last fw weeks. I barely have a life at the moment. I feel like the loneliest guy in the world but I'm taking it one day at a time. Have to believe it will get better if we stick at it.

Snakes37

Hey Raleighgirl,

Of course you want to go back drinking, that's all us alcoholics knew how to do. Apart from the alcohol problem, I also have a living problem and before I started to accept both these facts I wanted to hide in the bottle and form living life on lifes terms, on the other hand the issue for me was that I feared to go back to the bottle because it would only give me temporary relief from the real feelings that are so abnormal to me. Hang in there you are doing great!
p.s Rome wasn't built in a day

CarolD

I've never been bored or lonely in my AA recovery...

It was like finding a room frull of friends not yet met...

Biza

I deal with the same thing! I'd be willing to bet what you are feeling is pretty normal in early recovery. I hope, for both our sakes, it is not in later recovery.

I love what AVRT said: "The lack of a plan not to drink is often a plan to drink." That really makes a lot of sense.

Do you have any hobbies? Do you like movies? Are there any classes out there you want to take? Are you interested in volunteering?

My doc said I have to fill the time I spent drinking with something else. I am stll struggling to find that something else and I really understand how you feel.

OceanSize

HALT! I loooove H A L T.

have found it to be extremely helpful, so far. I implemented it prior to AA but it is an even greater tool now that i am in the program and free from alcohol, even when i'm hungry angry lonely or tired.

CarolD

I too found HALT useful....and because depression was part of my drinking history I added in a S for Sad.

Ergo.....
Hungry...Angry...Lonely...Tired ...Sad.