wpainterw

When I think of alcoholism it seems to have a certain parasitic quality, like some pernicious growth, gradually replacing a person’s personality with something quite different, strangling the soul, if you will- that is if you believe you have a soul. They say that in Cambodia, at Angkor Wat, the sculptures in the temples have often been smothered by the twisting tendrils of the Banyan tree or “strangler fig”. Starting out as vines, they gradually become trees and eventually obscure the temples on which they grow.
So it might be with alcohol. To grow properly the soil must be fertile. They say that genetic factors and family history may have a lot to do with it. And then some persons have certain personality characteristics which may make them more vulnerable, such as being obsessive-compulsive, rebellious, risk taking, pleasure seeking,* perfectionist, inclined towards grandiosity, “thin skinned” or easily offended, easily depressed, having a low frustration tolerance level, inclined to bear a grudge, and, above all, a tendency to become dependent upon others or, self medicating, on substances.
This particular plant feeds on alcohol. There may be at first a sort of Faustian bargain whereby a person, self medicating for some real or imagined condition, finds that alcohol or some other substance may bring temporary relief, indeed even a “buzz”. But, as the plant grows larger, it needs more alcohol to achieve a given effect. It throws out its roots seeking more and more alcohol. If there is an alcohol “drought” the plant tends to wither and become sickly. Too much alcohol, however, may cause it to become yellow and convulse.
We know the rest. We’ve seen the plant grow larger each month, each year, and we’ve seen how, eventually, it starts to shut out all the daylight. How can we cut it down? Bring back the sun? Do we need the help of others? And if we get that, can we prevent the vine from growing back once more?
Is this comparison at all helpful? Any thoughts?

W.

newwings

A brilliant analogy. That's exactly what my 'vine' did to me.

Now I feel that not only have I stopped it growing, I've ripped the ******* thing out by the roots and applied liberal splashings of weed killer.

It ain't EVER growing back.

Thanks for a really well written piece. I'll think about this for the rest of the day.

Rusty Zipper

i now have a lifetime of WEED-B-GONE

a Big Book, the steps,

and a bunch of drunks

UofI2008

Wow nice work. This is a great piece of writing and makes me think hard about my own struggles with drinking.

svenissober

Yes, totally rings a bell.

BTW, Paul Hedderman, one of my favourite A.A. speakers (who now is more than a spiritual teacher than "just" A.A.) compared alcoholism to a parasite.

You´ll find his talks on youtube.