bayness0

I can't quite believe what my AW has done.

She phoned the police today to try to get me arrested. I think the main reason she is annoyed is because I have not commited any crime.

now she has moved out of the house taking my kids with her and it is a civil matter so there is nothing I can do until I see a solicitor - my appointment is not till the 6th of Sep (I will phone them tomorrow to try to move it forward).

All because I needed my car this morning.

Today I really really hate all Alcoholics.

GettingBy

I'm sorry that you are dealing with this crazy behavior, Bayness.

I went nuts trying to respond/react/defend myself from all the unreasonable accusations that my AH flung at me. What has helped me is remembering that just because he says something... does not mean it's true. And things he threatens, are just threats.

What I have done in respons to the insanity is contact an attorney and determined what is/isn't legal with regards to joint property and our children - and then I make sure that MY actions stay in line with what's legal. That's it. That's all I have control over. Anything that my AH does that crosses that line, I document and keep working on MY plan for separation.

I also learned that when I tried to figure out my AH's motives or intentions... I drove myself crazy. My AH is an alcoholic... and most times, his crazy-making behavior is the disease trying to protect itself.... that's it. It's not about me. It's about him, and his stuff. Remember that helps me not take it personally, and reminds me that as long as he's actively drinking and not seeking recovery... I can expect more of the same insanity!!

Hopefully some of this makes sense! Hang in there!
Shannon

bayness0

I know everything you say is true. I just wish I have evidence of her behaviour prior to this. Just one of the offers of sexual favours for Wine or the asleep with that stupid grin on their face, or staggering around the house. Just anything. But I spent my time trying to cope with and support her.

I am just really sad with her behaviour at the moment. I am not angry, just really, really sad.

She is blaming me for the drinking again saying it was all my fault and she does not even want a drink at the moment. Who knows how long that will last. From my perspective hopefully not long.

GettingBy

It is sad, isn't it?

What seems so obvious to us just isn't the case for someone in the midst of active addiction. The more I learned to accept the reality (my husband's disease made him NEED to drink), the more I stopped trying to control him and get between him and the alcohol. The more I learned how to detach from him... the more peaceful and calm my life got.

I'm married to my AH and we have kids together - the consequence of those two decisions means that for me, there is no "Finish line." Meaning, there simply is no easy/clear way to "just be done with him!!" Even with divorce - yes, I have him out of the house, but we have kids together. Ugh, so I've had to "play the movie" all the way through and see that to do things right - I need to take things one step at a time, and make good solid decisions - not just react to the alcoholic manipulations.

It's hard. I couldn't survive with out the support of Al-anon.

-Shannon