BeProactive

Hi - For those who went through a temporary custody/parenting schedule OSC court in CA, could you please answer the following questions?

My temporary custody court date is on 09/01. How should I prepare for it? What documents should I take? How long does it take and could you please describe the whole process? Will I be expected to talk or will only my lawyer do the talking?

(I am going to be asking my lawyer these same questions, but thought I would post here as well)

Thanks.

BeProactive

Thanks Anvilhead!

I am feeling very nervous and overwhelmed about this..Am I doing the right thing? Why do I have to do this, why did it have to come to this, mixed in with pity and sadness for stbxah - lots of thoughts and emotions going through the head..

SR - please keep me in your thoughts and prayers..

thank you.

GettingBy

Sending thoughts and prayers your way!!!

Stay strong and know you are doing what is best for your children. Good job Mom, I'm proud of you!!

BeProactive

Thanks GettingBy!

We came to a resolution amongst us (him, me, his lawyer, my lawyer), though stbxah was not happy at all about it.

This is the schedule we got:

2hrs , two days during weekday and 4 hrs during weekend - I drop the kids off at his place. He should not drink 4 hrs before and during the visits. He should not drive with them.

I think stbxah was pretty upset and angry. I am feeling sad, upset, emotional, etc..

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers..

GettingBy

I give you a lot of credit... I'm on the verge of negotiating custody/visitation... and it scares me to bits. I have discussed all my options (which aren't many unfortunately) with my attorney. I don't have any grounds to deny 50/50 custody... and I know he will fight me tooth and nail during mediation if it's anything less than equal.

If you don't mind me asking, how are you going to enforce the no drinking clause?

I've talked to my attorney about concerns of AH drinking while he has custody and she said that in NY there isn't much we can do... until/unless he gets arrested, DWI, have an incident, etc. (which hasn't happened... yet). I highly doubt he'd openly agree to a clause like that during mediation.

Just curious!

BeProactive

Gettingby - I asked my attorney the same question. She said, If I see that he is dunk when I am dropping the kids off, I don't (drop them off) and can take them back with me. If he calls the cops or something, then I need to be prepared and the cops would side with me/ or not depending on how drunk he is.. I also plan to give the kids cell phone and tell them to call me. If he violates any drinking clauses, then I could ask for termination of current visitation rights.

I can also ask for random alcohol testing..

hope this helps..

LaTeeDa

GB,

My understanding is that in CA temporary orders are put in place to cover the time between filing and actual settlement. (Which by law, is at least six months here.) This particular hearing is only required if you are asking for interim child support. Thankfully, I didn't have to have one because I wasn't.

I don't know that there is a way to "enforce" the no drinking, but any evidence that he isn't following the temporary orders could be used in determining the final orders.

L

BeProactive

Thanks LaTeeDa. The reason I filed OSC is because at that time stbxah moved back home against my wishes and I wanted temporary possesion of home and temporary custody..I ended up moving out myself becuase I couldn't wait for this court date..

LaTeeDa

Ah, thanks for the clarification. Yes, the OSC is to set out the "ground rules" for the period of time while the divorce is pending. Luckily, my AH was (mostly) cooperative, so I didn't have to have one.

Best wishes to you and your children. You are in the thick of it right now, but it will all settle down eventually. Divorce is stressful, even when it goes smoothly. But, it's not as stressful as perpetual marriage to an alcoholic.

L