NotTheMama

This turned out longer than I expected...
AH went to detox in March 2010. He dropped out after detox and didn't stay for 30 day rehab. He made a couple of trips to AA, then decided he didn't need that. He stayed sober a grand total of 6 days. Then in December, he sobered up on his own for about 8 days, during which he took an entire bottle of MY Ativan. I found the empty bottle!

Fast forward 8 months and many liters of Vodka later... He came back from a trip and he was beyond "yellow", extremely tired, his belly and ankles were swollen beyond belief. I picked up the camera and snapped a couple of pictures. When I showed them to him, he freaked out. Left the house and called 3 friends (not drinking buddies) and his daughter. He told them something was wrong and what should he do?! They blew my phone UP...wanting to know why I hadn't done something about it!!!

So, I did what I don't normally do...I MADE him go to the hospital. The ER doc told him straight up that if he kept drinking he would die; that his liver was failing. They admitted him and for 6 days, 2 more doctors told him if he didn't stop he would die. Specifically, he would not live 2 years!

So, we get home and he stayed sober for exactly 12 days! I found an empty bottle in the garage today. Tonight he comes in "sick", and he's throwing up blood! I tried to get him to go to the hospital, and all he's worried about is the fact that while he was throwing up, his crown came off his tooth, and evil b*tch that I am, I flushed the toilet!!! It's just absolutely unbelievable!!!

I have been reading SR since he went to rehab, and I knew what to expect, but I'm still shaking my head! I don't guess I really need advice, but I sure needed to vent!! Thanks!
Hope the rest of you are having a better day!

June

EnoughisEnough7

So sorry for what you are going through. It certainly does not sound good and must be very draining and stressful for you.

Sadly this is another testimonial as to just how powerful and resistant to change this addiction is.

grateful101010

I am so sorry. /hugs

danielleinto

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I almost started crying reading your post. My heart goes out to you. hugs

Freedom1990

Have you ever considered attending Alanon for yourself?

He's going to do what he's going to do, which is obviously drinking.

Personally I take no front row seat to anyone's alcoholism/addictions, my 33-year-old AD included.

Sending you hugs of support.

NotTheMama

Thank you all for your support. I have attended Al-Anon, and I'd truly be lost without my group! They are AWESOME!

Shortly after I posted this thread, I ended up taking AH to the ER. They whisked him away to start 2 IV's and prep him for a blood transfusion. He spent 3 nights in ICU, during which they gave him 5 units of blood and did scoped his stomach. They had to remove several clots and cauterize several places in his stomach. I was told that if I hadn't brought him in when I did, he would not have lived. End result after this episode, they gave him about a year to live if he doesn't stop.

So, AH gets out of the hospital, and immediately starts making a list of things "I" need to do for his boss, so that AH does not lose his job...WTH?!

I have set down a new set of ground rules...and the first one is that I will not take AH back to the hospital when he starts drinking again. He is responsible for himself, and HE can dial 911. And further, I will not sit by his side and hold his hand for days on end. I will not be the one to wash his @ss, just to get cursed at for not doing it right. Oh, and he's still toothless, but he thinks it looks pretty cool!! Huh?!

I was laid off in January, and there are no jobs in my career field. So, I am in school now, and will be able to leave by next Summer. Our kids were all grown and out of the house when we married, so their exposure is limited. But his daughter is struggling with it. I have suggested Al-Anon for her, but she hasn't tried it yet.

I am in a good place emotionally, but it is still hard to watch him destroy himself this way!

Thanks for reading. Hope everyone is having a safe Non-Alcoholic weekend!

akrasia

Is there any way you can live separately? You get a removal order, or you go get yourself a little apartment?

Because he's basically killing himself, except instead of taking a gun to his head he's finding the most drawn-out obnoxious way of doing it. And you're being held hostage to it.

I remember those terrible times when AH would drink himself insensate, forget to take his heart medication, fall down the stairs. I took him to the ER several times too. I remember just one time saying to him, "Okay, so you're done with life? Because I'm not." There was one terrible time in the hospital where I wished it would be bad enough that they'd say, "Oh, we're going to need to keep him here for a long, long time." Just so that I could go home and clean up the mess and relax a bit.

MeredithD1

NTM: It is hard to watch another self-destruct. I understand.
that's just beautiful!! if you have to live in the same home, find other places to be when you know he is drinking.
I assume you're also not going to be the "go-between" for him with his boss? I love your new ground rules...now that is walking away from the Front Row.

NotTheMama

No! I am absolutely NOT going to be the go-between...His boss and I have been friends for more than 20 years. I have already told him there would be no hard feelings if he had to let AH go. He has a business to run, and if AH can't do the work he doesn't need to be there. However, his boss has been very understanding and made every effort to help.

Moving out is not an option right now, but I'm okay with that. I have a great network of friends and family and SR, to boost me back up when I get "down".
Thank you all so much for your support.