Taking a Stand
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16
Taking a Stand
Hello all. You have a very insightful and caring community here. Many of your stories resonate with my situation. I have been a binge drinker off and on for 20 years. I have tried with all my might to be a normal drinker, but it is simply not in the cards for me. I have remained highly functional during the daylight hours. I have a fantastic career, and my alcoholism has not affected it...yet. My career and family mean everything to me. That somehow does not correlate with me drinking a bottle of vodka, passing out on the couch, and stumbling to bed incoherently at 3am. This can't (and won't) be who I am.
I am on day 2 of detox, and hanging in there. My abstinence must be permanent and I am committed to it. Is it normal for me to feel anger at alcohol for doing this to me? When I know in fact that I have done this to myself. I look forward to a shared journey toward recovery with all of you.
Msober
I am on day 2 of detox, and hanging in there. My abstinence must be permanent and I am committed to it. Is it normal for me to feel anger at alcohol for doing this to me? When I know in fact that I have done this to myself. I look forward to a shared journey toward recovery with all of you.
Msober
to SR.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Hi and Welcome!
One of the books that made me understand that I was not alone with my feelings is "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp. It's a memoir by a young, high-functioning alcoholic and her love affair with alcohol and the despair and loss she felt when breaking it off.
One of the books that made me understand that I was not alone with my feelings is "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp. It's a memoir by a young, high-functioning alcoholic and her love affair with alcohol and the despair and loss she felt when breaking it off.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16
Thank you Anna. I will have to check that one out. The title is telling. It is like a dysfunctional love affair, except that my date was always a bottle of vodka, and we never left the house. I really have isolated myself socially.
I have the strength to do this, and sharing my story with others is already helping.
I have the strength to do this, and sharing my story with others is already helping.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome Msober! I was in a similar situation when I found SR, except I had already graduated to drinking almost all day, every day. I'll never know when I slipped over into maintenance drinking - always needing to keep something in my system or I'd shake & get sick. Glad you are dealing with this now.
You say your drinking hasn't affected your life - yet. Very wise observation. I'm sure you've heard the phrase, 'alcoholism is a progressive disease'. Bad things would surely happen if you continued on the way you were. I'm so glad you found SR. It helps so much to know we aren't alone. Everyone here understands just what you're going through.
You say your drinking hasn't affected your life - yet. Very wise observation. I'm sure you've heard the phrase, 'alcoholism is a progressive disease'. Bad things would surely happen if you continued on the way you were. I'm so glad you found SR. It helps so much to know we aren't alone. Everyone here understands just what you're going through.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Originally Posted by Msober
This can't (and won't) be who I am.
Originally Posted by Anna
One of the books that made me understand that I was not alone with my feelings is "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 624
Hi Msober, welcome to SR.
Yes, I felt angry, not only with myself, but with the actual alcohol itself and the things it 'made' me do.
I don't feel angry any more. In fact, I hardly ever feel angry about anything these days, but if I do it's because it's justified and normal anger. I just feel sadness more than anything about the days, weeks, months and years I spent drinking.
Yes, I felt angry, not only with myself, but with the actual alcohol itself and the things it 'made' me do.
I don't feel angry any more. In fact, I hardly ever feel angry about anything these days, but if I do it's because it's justified and normal anger. I just feel sadness more than anything about the days, weeks, months and years I spent drinking.
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