Coleman

New guy here i'm almost 40 been drinking since i was 19 after I joined the Navy, mostly beer, go figure-quit for a couple of years in my mid-twenties when I was in college. Picked it up again after getting married and its gotten progressivley worse. I have a beautiful wife 3 beautiful kids, a great job only problem is my drinking. I dont drink everyday but almost, i start out with beer or wine then i hit the hard stuff mostly vodka which i hide from my wife. She notices my change in behavior and its severley affected our marriage, to the point of feeling like i'm going to loose her.

I am sick of this, sick of the guilt, the hangovers, the shakes, i think its going to destroy me. I havent been to AA because im skeptical.

Any suggestions?

MycoolFitz

Yea, get sober. I had what you had, wife, family, home, job. Also got to the point I hid my vodka from my wife too. She knew I wasn't me. I didn't quit and lost it all. I can't go back but I can go on in sobriety and recovery. My best to you in your choice. I know you'll get a lot of support on SR.

ReadyAndAble

Hi, Coleman.

You've come to the right place. You'll find a lot of support here.

Not sure what part of AA you're skeptical about, but whatever it is, would it be preferable to the guilt, shakes, hangovers, marriage problems, and fear of your own own destruction you mentioned?

There are other programs too. Here's a list: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

Glad to have you aboard.

UofI2008

Just start trying for sobriety today. Whats the worst thing that happens? You keep your wife and kids?

Also, there are a million ways to sobriety and no one way is the "right way". Just do what works for you.

GettingStronger2

I thought my only problem was drinking, too. I didn't lose any of the things you have, either. What i lost was my self respect, and that was enough for me. I went to AA because i didn't know where else to turn. Not only did i get and stay sober, i got my self respect back through some work. I found out drinking was not my only problem, and i found a solution that works.

i wish for you the best in recovery.

Hevyn

Welcome Coleman! It's great you found us. There are so many people here who've been through exactly what you describe. You aren't alone anymore.

How I wish my husband (now deceased) had faced his alcoholism the way you are. He lost me and our son - his home - his great job - and finally, his life. It all started with beer, too - but in the end, he had straight vodka by his side at all times. He never saw what he was doing to himself, and I enabled him by making excuses. I didn't know that I'd end up with my own battle with alcohol, & sure didn't know how to help him back then.

That's the great thing about SR - you can talk about all your concerns and get wonderful advice from people who know where you're coming from. I hope you'll keep reading & posting. It helps with the anxiety, and you'll feel comforted by all the help.

saphira

Welcome Coleman! It's good that you're here... there are many of us who are just like you, and you will find all kinds of support here. It sounds like you realize how much of a problem your drinking has become-- that's a huge step in itself. I know it can be scary to start on sobriety-- I was terrified. I didn't know who I would be without the alcohol or how I would "cope" with things in my life. I just knew that I had to start. I had to take the alcohol out of my life and deal with what was left. It's been hard at times, but mostly I just revel in being sober. Life is so much easier when you're able to think clearly.
I wish you all the best!

nandm

to SR

Ghostlight

I got to the point where I was hiding my drinking (so I thought) and I live alone.

It was no way to live. Things got progressevily worse.

Why not try AA. You won't be in a room full of skeptics, but a group of men and woman trying to solve a mutual problem.

Your post worries me. Things can get worse fast, believe me.
I hope you take some course of action before it's too late.

Best to you.

SSIL75

welcome! I am also an AA skeptic (for my own recovery) and got sober through Rational Recovery. Life can be wonderful!

SeekSobriety

Hi Coleman!

Thanks so much for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to come out here and share your feeling about drinking and how it is affecting you and your family.

I was super skeptical of AA, I resisted going for a long time. But I met a friend who invited me to check a meeting out. I was totally surprised. First off there are so many different meetings, each one has there own unique aspects. My friend told me just go to a couple different meetings and just listen to the speakers, you don't have to do anything more. I did not think I would like it at all but I was very surprised. I met tons of other people who I related to, I heard people speaking about the same struggles I had. It really was powerful to know that we are not alone in this.

Give it a try, the worst that can happen is that you just go home and try something else.

Check out Alcoholics Anonymous : How to Find A.A. Meetings to find a meeting near you.

Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Please let us know how it goes for you.

P.S
Thank you very much for your service! My family and I really do appreciate it.

Dee74

Welcome to SR Coleman

You'll find a lot of support and advice here - SR, and the folks in it, really helped me work out what I needed to do. They helped me turn my life around.

You could do worse than to read around and post here as a starting point

D

artsoul

Good to have you with us!

Congratulations for facing your problem. A lot of us have been there and gotten sober, even when we thought it seemed impossible.

It helps to just focus on staying sober one day at a time (or one hour at a time). You can do it.

Keep reading/posting!