Carla77

Well, I have made it to day 7 which is HUGE! I have had definite cravings, but I have been shocked at how "ok" I have been once I got out of the cycle. But today is Friday! Last Friday night was when I broke my first ever 4 day sober streak. I occasionally skip a night of drinking but NEVER Friday. EVER. I can stay up as late as I want, the kids sleep in on Saturday so even if I feel like sh** I manage to function, there is no work or school on Saturday and so on......
I literally feel like gnawing my arm off. I want to get some wine BAD! I have been in a really crappy/angry mood all day and all I want is to feel that slide when I down my first drink.
The biggest things keeping me in check are the memory of how horrible I felt last Saturday and the fact that I would have to give up an entire week of sobriety after working really hard! Of course the enabling voice in my head is screaming that I can drink tonight and be sober tomorrow.....like no big deal. RRRRRRRRRRRR! Help is appreciated!!

Carla

Anna

Hi Carla,

Hang in there!

I really believe it's all about changing your mindset, changing habits. You can actively make Friday night something different than wine-drinking night. How about taking your kids to a movie, or getting a movie to watch, going out for a walk? I hope you can get through the evening.

Dee74

Hi Carla
I always drank on Friday nights too...for 20 years or more...

now I don't

I much prefer it this way - hang in there!

D

Lenina

Carla,

Congrats on your seven days! can you make some really fun plans for tomorrow? Maybe take in an early show with friends? Go shopping for a special treat with the money you saved from not buying wine?

It helps me to remember that a day is just a day. Make it a sober one!

Love,

Lenina

Newtosoberlivin

Hi Carla,

I am on day ten today myself and the cravings have been especially bad tonight, as whenever my daughter stays with her dad (every Friday, ironically enough) THAT was usually my worst night for indulging.

I was pacing and anxious after she left with him a bit after 5 tonight, so instead of doing my usual "I'm bored, just a few won't hurt" thing, instead I went for a nice drive (I adore my car and it's so nice to take long drives now with no fear!), stopped by a local gas station to fill up, ran into a neighbor there and had a nice chat, stopped by the car wash and got a wash and vaccuamed it out, then hit Dunkin Donuts for a dinner of a breakfast wrap and an iced coffee.

It's nice to change up the usual "schedule" which before for me consisted of "tying one on" as quickly and as mind-numbingly as possible. I won't lie and say it hasn't been on my mind all day, it HAS, but I keep coming and posting here, plan to get a nice hot bath in tonight with music and candles and get a sound, restful sleep. Then tomorrow morning, hitting the gym for a good workout, a meeting after that, THEN going to pick up my girl.

After that, I plan to make a fun afternoon for us, will ilkely hit a local arcade at the beach to play games, and grab some pizza and maybe a walk on the beach.

It's the little things, and different things, that make all the difference I am finding.

And keeping in mind that it's 24 hour "windows" of NOT drinking, one day at a time, is really helping me even with the madness of the cravings lately.

Hang in there!!! Also there is a chat meeting on here tonight at 9 pm EST, I attended last weeks' and plan to attend this one as well.

Newtosoberlivin

how rude of me, CONGRATS on your 7 days!!!!!! Keep up the great work!!!

Carla77

Thanks guys! I am sipping a huge iced tea, reading here and trying to get through a minute at a time. I think I am going to try to get to bed really early as I am exhausted.......I think tomorrow night I will try to make plans that keep me out until bedtime. I may try the chat too. I am considering asking the ex to take the kids in the morning. The one meeting I attended was a Saturday women's noon one last year, and I may try to go tomorrow. I really struggle with meetings though bc I am a very well known mom/teacher in a very small town area. One of my coworkers has to hit 3 meetings a week for a DUI and the mother of one of my students is like 15 years sober and is at meetings like every day. I do not want to run into one of them. I know it is stupid. I know there is confidentiality etc, but I am still very wary of it.

Thanks again for the support!!
Carla

Hevyn

(Ooops - I was writing this while you were writing yours, but still want you to read it. Proud of you!)

Carla - So glad you posted about this. It helps to talk it out, & you're not alone - we've all been there.

I remember those early days & how downright resentful I was that I couldn't have "fun" on the weekends. Try to think of how not fun it was in the end. You know where giving in to your cravings is going to lead. It won't be the way you imagine - having a few civilized drinks and being just fine the next day.

My anger & resentment went away completely after awhile. Feeling clear headed with no hangover was such a blessing after all the horrible morning-afters I put myself through. The feeling of missing out on something faded too. I found better things to do with all those hours spent being numb. You can do this carla.

least

what she said

artsoul

That's how you do it..... Sometimes it feels like you're barely hanging on, and you just have to trust that the feelings won't last forever. It will get better - it will get easier - and it's normal to feel uncomfortable at first (after all, we always gave in to the compulsion before).

Keep close to SR and eat! It helps with the cravings.......:ghug3

recoverywfaith

I remember when I first sobered up...I used to think it would be hard to stay sober...just could not image not drinking. My first AA meeting an AA big book was given to me (it helped by reading the stories and the first 164 pages) and I got phone numbers to call people in the early days...and it helped to take it one day at a time sober.

Big Book Online Fourth Edition

Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc

Carla77

Hi all! Thanks again for all of the support! I made it through without drinking and now I am going to bed! Thanks for making me feel not alone and for caring! I hope you are all staying sober tonight and getting busy living! Thank you!
Carla

Reset

Eventually, Friday became just another night to me.

I kind of like it that way. No need to worry about how I'm gonna get drunk, no racing to the liquor store before it closes, no thinking about how crappy I'm gonna feel tomorrow.

The world is my oyster.

Make it through this weekend and it'll get easier over time.

And good job on the 7 days.

FHB1

Hi Carla! Congratulations on day 7 - that IS BIG!! I can relate to what you are saying. I drank like a fish EVERY Friday for 20+ years. I'd get off work, go straight to happy hour and wake up in my bed at 4:00 in the morning not remembering how I even got there. I know how you feel about feeling anxious, angry and wanting to drink. All I can say is that when I was at day 7, I felt EXACTLY the same way. Today I am on day 15 and those feeling are beginning to fade. I am calm now, able to sleep peacefully and basically feel better than I have in many years. Keep working at staying sober - it WILL get better! Have a great, sober weekend!!

eJoshua

Woohoo!

FWIW - sober weekends are the best once you get used to them...

Great work and congrats on 7 days!