iAmNotAnIsland

Hey, I'm Rachel. I have 4yrs clean off meth, coke, heroin. I have almost a month clean off prescription pills. Long story short, I met a guy, "Sam", towards the end of June. He was kicked outta his mom's for relapsing on pills, his drug of choice. She sent him to the worst place in the city for recovering addicts. Rented a room & was doing AMAZING. Til the streets got to him around mid July. His neighbors were dealers. He relapsed on pills & dabbled in heroin. I SHOULDA LEFT but he (before relapsing) was a girl's dream: everyghing he said was geniune. I hoped he'd get a job & stop. The dealers moved, his mom had major surgery, he got 3 fines & faced jail time. At this point, aug 2, i thought he got his act together cuz he was moving & got a job. He told me he met new dealers who iniated him by havin him either snort a rail of coke or heroin. He chose coke. He loved it, he said. Aug 6 we had made plans. I came over after waiting for his call @2 by 5! He wasnt him & left me stranded in the rain to go to his friend's 21st bday party. He said he'd call the nxt day & talk about it. I know he was coked out. He went from Prince Charming to a monster. I haven't heard from him since & I'M A MESS. So depressed. Can't function. Idk, i hate the silence & miss the real him. My other addiction was men, so i could use & have a relationship. just another addiction. so this is new, why leave me like this after everything he said? but that was the real him...i just want the real "Sam" back its killing me.
~sorry for the rant

artsoul

Welcome to the forum - glad you're here!

It's sad, but an active addict/alcoholic doesn't have much to give if they're using. The addiction becomes front and center........

Please check out the section for family/friends - there are so many who share your pain and/or have been in the same situation.

Dee74

Hi Rachel - welcome to SR

I'm sorry for your situation.
I can tell its heartbreaking for you.

I know you'll find a lot of support and understanding here and also in our Family and Friends forums.

congratulations on getting off the pills

D

suki44883

Welcome to SR. Unfortunately, he isn't capable of having a relationship right now. He is in active addiction and that will always come first. I hope you will stick around and check out our Family & Friends forums. You'll find a lot of support there.

nandm

to SR

Anna

Welcome!

I'm glad you found us.

sugarbear1

Way to go on 4 years, I misread that as 4 days.