4todayinTN

I have been a solitary drinker for years. I would go periods without drinking 3-4 glasses of wine and passing out in front of the TV, but not for long. In public, I am very careful with alcohol. I do not get drunk at parties, especially around work/church people (well, except once, and that was AWFUL) . I am a successful, upper class person with a stressful job and that was how I relaxed. But, I am changing that. I just don't think anyone will notice but my BF. My therapist says that I will be doing it for me and him, really for me. He is one of the few people who knows what a mean drunk I can be and he doesn't deserve some of the things I have said to him. Has anyone else compartmentalized themselves like this? I really don't like AA for the same reasons, it isn't anonymous...people talk and I can't have that jeopardize my career. I have heard about other people from AA attendees, that scares me. Thanks for your time.

withdrawing

Your therapist is right. You are doing this for you. You should be concerned about YOU.

SSIL75

What is your concern exactly? Do you WANT people to notice? Or are you afraid of people noticing?

Anna

I think you really need to want to be sober for yourself.

Does it matter if other people notice? I don't think that should be much of a concern.

AA is not the only way to recover. Many of us, including me, use different recovery methods. The bottom line is that recovery is hard and you need to really want it to work.

switchboard

I am the only one who knows about me. No one, except the fine people here at SR, knows I am an alcoholic .. one who drank a LOT, daily, for many years, mostly in secret, by myself, who drank morning to night and overnight. No one knows I went through withdrawal. I don't lie about it - I just haven't told anyone .. and I don't have to. ..... Do what feels right for you and your personal situation.

saphira

I was sort of the same way you are describing. I would always drink home alone and my husband is the only one who knew or saw me like that. I wouldn't even have one glass of wine at holiday functions. My paranoia of getting drunk in public was very strong and I didn't want to end up in trouble. My husband also heard a lot of unnecessarily cruel things from me while drinking. Since quitting, I actually have been pretty honest about what I've been through because I'm proud of myself! I'm accomplishing something I didn't think I'd have the guts for!! What I've found is that people are very supportive for the most part. I think you need to do what you feel is right but you shouldn't feel ashamed for wanting to geit help. That is a commendable thing... Good for you!

eJoshua

I gave up caring about whether anyone would notice or not. This was after I gave up caring whether anyone realized I was constantly trashed though...

IMO, you have to do it for yourself or it won't work. I also think that you have to do whatever you have to do to get yourself sober. You don't have to do AA if you don't want to.

Do something though. In my experience, if you are an alcoholic your drinking will only ever get worse, it will never get better. If you don't take action then eventually you could end up where I was, where everyone you know will know you have a problem, either because it will have gotten so bad or you will have stopped caring or both.

Best of luck!