bookish89

Hello. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years now. I can honestly say that I am in complete love with him. He's been clean for 4 months now, and I am so proud of him. He's been going to NA meetings every day and really enjoys it. However, we are no longer in a relationship. He broke up with me two weeks ago because: 1) he felt guilty he couldn't give me the emotional affection that I deserve and 2) he needs to make personal progress in this recovery.

I really do understand why he wanted to end our relationship, but I still love him very much. He loves me, too, and even expressed this as he ended the relationship. I've been giving him some space to really work on himself. The thing is, I'd do anything to keep our relationship going.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can approach this situation? I love him too much to let him go. I truly care for him and his recovery, and I want to be there to support him. I tell him this, but he disregards it, and stands strong by his decision to be alone.

Freedom1990

Where is your acceptance in what he has expressed to you?

If you truly want the best for him and his recovery, you will respect his wishes, painful though that may be.

Early recovery is tough, very tough. He's doing what he needs to do for his recovery.

kmangel

I've read that for the first year of recovery it is best not to get involved in a romantic relationship--but to concentrate on recovery. Your boyfriend is really showing how important recovery is to him. That is a very good sign. I know it hurts because you want to be there for him, but this is important and your letting him go is your supporting him. Who knows what will happen when he is further along in his recovery. It may not be forever--just a respite so that he can focus on getting well. Let him go and encourage him to do all he needs to do. If you are meant to be together, he'll come back around.

Seren

((((Bookish)))) I'm sorry for your pain, but I'm very glad to hear that your xBF is concentrating on his recovery. That is a good thing!

It is concerning that you are making such exteme statements about how you can't live without him and can't let him go. I hope that you would consider the idea that you do not actually need another human being to be happy and fulfilled.

Early recovery and early breakups can be brutal.....I hope you will take some time to figure out what is best for you. I wish you peace and joy. HG

rorty

Right here with you. HUGS.