rorty

Dear SR,

Last night I attended an Al-anon meeting where the chairperson shared experiences of healing and recovery through "manifesting" happiness. He did this through the power of positive thinking and by having hope.

At first I thought: what a great share! I went home and I started to organize my thoughts on a piece of paper. For the first time I was letting thoughts of my RAGF in, feeling good, positive, and enlightened. I was feeling spiritual, powerful, focused.

It seems like it will be a hard state of mind to maintain.

Do you guys have experience with this kind of thinking? Does it work?

Thank you.
Rorty

Seren

I agree that it can work and I agree that it is difficult to maintain sometimes....

We can actually decide to be happy, to dwell on the things in our lives for which we can be really grateful, instead of all the things we can list that are going wrong. IMHO, it is a matter of chosing how to look at the world.

Hugs, HG

barb dwyer

I think when we start thinking about making something last,
we've moved out of the moment and are clutching onto something
that wasn't designed to be everlasting in the first place.

I don't know if it's 'manifesting' so much as deciding to focus on the positive.

The stuff that makes us happy is already all around us.

We're just in the habit of not seeing it.
Or so distracted that we've forgotten?

GettingBy

Where I have always gotten tripped up in my recovery is the difference between having a positive/hopeful outlook... and being blissfully ignorant and in denial about my reality! I think when you're living with an activie alcoholic finding the balance between the two is key. Sure, you don't want to focus on all the negativity/drama that the addiction brings to life - because then you miss out on the blessings/good things! But you also don't want to go around all "butterflies/kittens" - ignoring the risks/dangers that go along with being involved with an addict.

That's where I am at with my recovery. Learning to be more realistically optimistic!

Thanks for letting me babble!
Shannon

LaTeeDa

I believe that being in the present moment, being grateful, and letting go can all come together to manifest positive outcomes in our lives. But, more often than not, the outcomes are quite different than those we "wish" for. That's why letting go is a key element. It's more about allowing positive outcomes, whatever they may be, than creating the outcome we want. Without the letting go piece, it's all too easy to slip into denial and magical thinking, neither of which create anything positive.

L

m1k3

When I first began my recovery and actually let go of a lot of the garbage in my head I went through a several day period of an almost "high" feeling. It felt so good to be free of all that responsibility I had assumed for myself. After the high passed I needed some time to adjust to just feeling happy rather than blissed out. I actually needed to focus on the fact that I was much better than a was before even though I wasn't standing on the mountain top any more.

Luckily it has all evened out now. I feel strong, happy and content and that's a good place to be. Not that I wouldn't mind another mountain top or two again.

Your friend,

LifeRecovery

Sometimes I have to "flip" my thinking to see the light.

Did you have moments of happiness, lightness and joy while you were doing the exercises?

Was that more than you had experienced in some time.

I think that this type of work is similar to working out. The more you practice, the more you pump the iron the bigger the muscles. For me it takes a lot of work to break in a new path in the jungle of my brain....then to follow the pathway already in place but with known danger in it.

Progress not perfection right, and I read progress in what you wrote.

wellnowwhat

My first blast of happiness (and relief) came from learning and really accepting the 3C's. I had sort of adopted an attitude towards my AH of "he's not capable, I'll step up for both of us". It was such a huge relief to hand back to him his share, and to realize I only had to take care of my side of the street.

Abe Lincoln's "Most people are only as happy as they decide to be" resonated with me. I did not know I could decide to be happy, but I can and do. Nature helps me here. Birds soaring, scent of plants and flowers, cats and their tricks, my funny-looking dog, etc.

I too struggled with hoping for a rosy future or despairing over a black one, but doing the alphabetical gratitude list brings me back to the present, if deep breathing and other mindful tricks don't.

And yes, exercising a "happy today" mentality does become easier and habit-forming. When something shakes me up, I don't sink so deep or for as long as I used to, I have a program and I am progressing (not perfecting).

Rorty: Your desire for change for yourself, and your thoughtfulness and willingness to apply the program, are showing. I agree, you are going to do well and find happiness and peace.

Freedom1990

I guess I'm confused on just what the chairperson had hope for.

As for my AD, I hold out no hope. I would be a Pollyanna if I did, and God knows I've been disappointed numerous times over the years when I did have hope.

For myself, I have a lot of hope as I have a program of recovery for myself.