nerdygirl

Ugh... He's been stressing over this for 2 years now. He's on probation for a DUI he was convicted of in 2006. Got a 2nd DUI in 2008 and was convicted in 2009. He is just now being violated on his probation for that 2nd DUI. He's got 350 days of back up time hanging over his head. Yes, he's a totally different man now - alcohol and drug free. But, I've told him he still has some debts to pay from when he was drinking and drugging. He's made so much personal progress over the past year. And, even though I've been practicing the whole "detach" thing, his going to jail affects me. It's like I also have to pay for something he did years ago. I'm sure he'll get work release and that's great for him to be able to get out and it's great that we won't suffer financially, but still... I'm trying not to think about it. How lonely I'll be without my husband, best friend, lover...

Just wanted to whine. Not asking for sympathy - he did this to himself and has to face the consequences on his own. Unfortunately, I have to face the consequences too - not being with my husband.


Happy Monday!

kmangel

Try to keep the thought in mind that though your husband is going to be away from you for a while, that it is a price well worth the cost because he is now alcohol and drug free. Going to jail may be part of the cost of his sobriety--but without it you would have an addict as a husband instead of a RA. My son is facing a similar situation, but I keep telling him that he is a much healthier person today than only a few months ago and he will be a much better person to himself and others in the future, too. Yes, they both (your husband and my son) have a high price to pay for such tough lessons learned, but in the end they can be stronger, healthier and happier.

nerdygirl

This past year has been full of ups and downs. We are finally on an even keel but we knew this was coming. It's probably in his best interest to deal with the consequences of his last DUI. This is the last thing hanging over his head. Unless he gets more probation time as a result of this violation, he's scheduled to be off probation in May. Then for the first time in 15 years he'll be a totally FREE man. I'm so happy and proud of him, but this time apart is definitely going to be the suck. However, I've learned to focus on myself, so that's exactly what I'll do!