walkingwithgod

I look forward to drinking after work. Sitting on my deck in the sun, sports radio in the background and a smile on my face. I have at least two hours by myself before my wife and daughter get home to relax. Instead of working out, cleaning, talking a walk or etc. I continue to have a beer and then 7 more. When did drinking 1 or 2 beers a night turn into 8 or so. It makes me wonder, and scares me. I have a professional job, house, and waht seems like the normal middle class life. But, beer/alcohol seems to be in my thoughts all too often. I have posted here before, but had the urge to write something.

MycoolFitz

Yes, I once had a career, home, family, nice middle class life. I hope you keep all of that. In my dis-ease I was unable to keep any of it. My best to you.

Terminally Unique

The tolerance does creep up on you ever so insidiously. Try quitting for a month. That should give you a fairly good idea of how dependent on it you are. It will take about two months of abstaining from alcohol for your tolerance to completely drop to baseline, however.

ajangel

I too had a great job, house with pool and jacuzzi, great relationship with my two daughters. After my divorce I started drinking. Lost my great job, lost my great relationship with my two daughters, lost my beautiful home. That was 5 years ago. I am 41 days sober now. I am just now getting my life back together. It doesn't take long for alcohol to destroy your life. Life is much better sober.

artsoul

Hi wwg -

I had the same experience. Other than the occasional binge, my drinking pretty much grew slowly and I suspected it was turning into a problem long before I stopped. Alcohol was my reward and I didn't want to give it up.

Something in me told me I was drinking too much, but the evening would come and one more night of drinking 3 or 4 beers (to help me relax/sleep/cope) just didn't seem like a big deal. And if I could justify an extra beer or two, I would happily finish off a six-pack (telling myself it's Friday, or I only drank 3 yesterday, or I'm extra stressed, etc. etc.) I was always going to quit next week or next year.

It's hard to get motivated to stop when we haven't had big consequences from drinking, but then again, that's no reason to put it off. I finally decided to get sober and "get it over with" before the bad stuff started and I'm glad I did. Thanks for posting - I'm sure a lot of people can relate, including me.

GettingStronger2

I am fortunate, I did not lose any of those things due to alcohol. But i could have.

Now, however, when i have time by myself to relax, i don't think about drinking. I workout, I read, I go do something. . .drinking is not something that comes to mind anymore.

Take a break from it, and see what happens. If you can go a month or two without much pain, you may be fine.

walkingwithgod

It scares me to death the amount that I drink in the late afternoon into the evening. But, I also enjoy it and no one thinks that I have a problem, basically because no one knows the truth. They see 1 or 2 and not the real number. I am thinking about it now and it comforts me as it is something to do.

GettingStronger2

Doesn't matter what other people think. Only you know if it is a problem. If you are drinking 8 beers in the afternoon, you may want to think about what you are doing. That is not normal drinking.

I started out as a social drinker, became a binge drinker, then a daily drinker -- the wine in the evenings to relax and unwind. Then it seeped into the days, just to get through.

Alcohol dependency can happen fast, before you realize it. Be careful.

walkingwithgod

It seems that it has become just part of my afterwork routine. I am used to doing it. I guess I have to forget about how it happened and focus on how to stop it.

soberviking

Most people wont think you have a drinking problem till you lose absolutely everything and become a homeless drunk yelling at imaginary elves. You can have everything in life but what it does to you as a person is what really matters. When I was drinking heavily on a regular basis I was either drunk and numb or just a zombie drifting through life till my next drinking session. I felt dead on the inside and I HATE that feeling. There has to be more then life then just being drunk.

doggonecarl

No, stopping of at the gym after work can be called a routine. Drinking 8 beers and unable to stop...well, when I was doing it, I used another phrase to describe it.

ALCOHOL ADDICTION.

bellakeller

Maybe comfort is overrated.

silly

In your initial post, you mentioned all of the other "something to do's" you could be doing. So, in my mind, it's beyond that now.

Many of us started off in a routine like yours... drinking only after work, only on the weekends, etc. But I can remember when I first started drinking before work. Just a half coffee cup to take the edge off before the big morning meeting. It's amazing how I got here from where I was 6 years ago when I was 25. It's scary.

I like other peoples suggestions. Try switching up your routine and quite drinking for a month. It WILL give you a good idea of where you stand.

Good luck!!!!

sugarbear1

I want to be yucky and sarcastic and judging to you. I can't do that today.

Just know alcoholism is a progressive disease, whether we drink or stay sober.

Know things change. Enjoy the view while you can. I prefer today (sober) over my past (drinking).

sugarbear1

And I'm still sarcastic & harsh. Progress is slow. Peace

Symmetry

This is such a great thread because your words remind me of where I was at before choosing sobriety.

My spouse and kids learned to just let me be while I was drinking. They probably figured that I wasnt listening anyway.

Since I've quit drinking everday after work I can honestly say the difference in how we engage as a family is remarkable. And My memory of these new interactions are memorable. I can actually remember the night before! Imagine that.

I started drinking everyday about 3-4 years ago. 1-2 beers turned into 3-6 beers, wine and vodka. I started hiding it even though my husband never voiced an opinion. I started comparing my drinking to others so that I could conclude that since theirs was worse than mine that must mean I'm not an alcoholic:rotfxko

The first week of sobriety was really hard for me. I 've posted on SR everyday and have received so much support from family and friends. I will never go back to drinking. Drinking stole my time, memories and numbed my feelings of love that I had for others. Not to mention the impending health problems.

I hope you allow yourself the gift of sobriety. You and your entire family will benefit. Please keep reading and posting. We are here for you

SSIL75

I used to REALLY look forward to drinking. If I had a vacation coming up (Bender!) I couldn't sleep with the excitement of it.

You'll find other things to look forward to. Real, solid things that build you up and feed your brain and soul.

withdrawing

walkingwithgod, do you have a member in your family that you would consider an alcoholic? I do, my father. I started out just like this. Just a few, hoping I could moderate. I know now that I can't. I have tried so many times. One ALWAYS leads to more and one or two days a week ALWAYS leads to more days a week. I am predisposed to being an alcoholic because of my father. Is there someone in your family that might have passed this predisposition on to you?

ReadyAndAble

I used to really look forward to drinks after work, too. And those drinks turned into many more drinks for me, just like you. At a certain point, I stopped smiling and enjoying it so much, because I began to admit what was really going on. After that, I drank because I couldn't imagine not drinking. How could I relax? How could I enjoy dinner or a movie Heck, how could I get to sleep?

Guess what? I am way more relaxed and happier now. I enjoy time with my daughter so much more. I wake up feeling great. Life is so much better now that I'm not exhausted from constantly trying to control my drinking. I love the sober life—surprisingly enough!

EmeraldRose

I just sit back and weigh out the differences in my life between waking up and slugging down a shot to start the vicious cycle or waking up, hugging my dogs, getting to work on time and keeping a sober life the way I know it. Looking back...I made alot of mistakes...who knows if my husband and I would still be together. If we were I'd still have my zoo of animals in the barnyard. But now I have a career. Just got a promotion and can not look back...I have to think ahead in a progressive aggressive motion.
Never again will I be found passed out with a 'drink' in my hand. If YOU think there is a problem...change it. Change your habits to change your life and subsequently change your drinking.