Here we go again
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 6
Here we go again
I turn 24 in a few weeks. I posted here many months ago, hoping to quit drinking. I think I made it six days before I started convincing myself that all I really needed to do was cut back, was set specific drink limits and follow them. And since then I've been caught in a cycle of long stretches of more moderate drinking followed by one or two days of serious I-should-probably-quit style drinking.
So here I am again, ready to quit. But this time I have some specific questions/issues that maybe some of you will be able to help me with.
1) How do you deal with the tension between both wanting to quit and not--both wanting and not wanting to be sober, both not being able to imagine your life without alcohol nor really being able to imagine your life with it? This is a big one for me. Because sobriety is really attractive to me this morning, hungover, but I know that soon it won't look that way. How do you remind yourself about the importance of the decision?
2) How important are meetings/groups/etc? I know that there are probably several roads that lead away from addiction, and I have to figure out what's right for me, etc etc. But how important have AA meetings been for you, especially early on?
3) Can you recommend me any good reading? I came across a letter purportedly written by David Foster Wallace* not too long ago that I found very informative/helpful. Do you know of any other essays like that?
Thanks guys. Here we go again. Cross your fingers for me...
*I can't link to it because I don't have a high enough post count, I guess. But search for "David Foster Wallace Recovery Letter" and you should come across it, if you're interested.
So here I am again, ready to quit. But this time I have some specific questions/issues that maybe some of you will be able to help me with.
1) How do you deal with the tension between both wanting to quit and not--both wanting and not wanting to be sober, both not being able to imagine your life without alcohol nor really being able to imagine your life with it? This is a big one for me. Because sobriety is really attractive to me this morning, hungover, but I know that soon it won't look that way. How do you remind yourself about the importance of the decision?
2) How important are meetings/groups/etc? I know that there are probably several roads that lead away from addiction, and I have to figure out what's right for me, etc etc. But how important have AA meetings been for you, especially early on?
3) Can you recommend me any good reading? I came across a letter purportedly written by David Foster Wallace* not too long ago that I found very informative/helpful. Do you know of any other essays like that?
Thanks guys. Here we go again. Cross your fingers for me...
*I can't link to it because I don't have a high enough post count, I guess. But search for "David Foster Wallace Recovery Letter" and you should come across it, if you're interested.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome back....
For me to actually quit....I had to want to more than I wanted to drink.
I sure hope you are at that point...alcohol is a toxin.
Please read this info...
http://chemcases.com/alcohol/alc-07.htm
AA is vital to me...and it was in early recovery too. I needed to be around other people who were heading into a sober future. Now I go to show
others how much life offers as a recovered alcoholic....
This gives me joy and purpose.
Please do check out some local AA meetings..anyone can attend an Open Meeting and just go to listen. Why not?
My favorite 'handobook' on alcoholism is "Under The Influence" by Milam & Ketcham.
The sequel is "Beyond The Influence" Amazon usually has both.inexpensively.
While not everthing pertained to me...it certainly was an eyeopener.
You could also make a list of the pro''s and con's about your drinking
Best done when you are having a hangover...
Try to abstain for a month or 2 then reconsider what is best for you.
It's kinda hard to keep drinking and have a clear mind.
Hope this helps..drinking is unhealthy and causes a lot of damages..
For me to actually quit....I had to want to more than I wanted to drink.
I sure hope you are at that point...alcohol is a toxin.
Please read this info...
http://chemcases.com/alcohol/alc-07.htm
AA is vital to me...and it was in early recovery too. I needed to be around other people who were heading into a sober future. Now I go to show
others how much life offers as a recovered alcoholic....
This gives me joy and purpose.Please do check out some local AA meetings..anyone can attend an Open Meeting and just go to listen. Why not?
My favorite 'handobook' on alcoholism is "Under The Influence" by Milam & Ketcham.
The sequel is "Beyond The Influence" Amazon usually has both.inexpensively.
While not everthing pertained to me...it certainly was an eyeopener.
You could also make a list of the pro''s and con's about your drinking
Best done when you are having a hangover...
Try to abstain for a month or 2 then reconsider what is best for you.It's kinda hard to keep drinking and have a clear mind.
Hope this helps..drinking is unhealthy and causes a lot of damages..
Last edited by CarolD; 08-21-2011 at 12:59 PM. Reason: Added link
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Welcome back.
I'm glad you are working on your sobriety early on in life. I am sober 4 months now and I'm 26. I'm so thankful that I got clean at a young age and saved myself a lot of pain and turmoil.
To answer your questions, meetings were extremely important for me. I was in rehab for 30 days (checked myself in) and after I got out I was in an AA meeting almost every day for the next month. A lot of people will do 90 meetings in 90 days, which may not be a bad idea. I eventually settled into going to two meetings a week, both Celebrate Recovery meetings, which is like AA but Christian.
As far as the tension question, it never goes away (IMO). That's the thing that was so hard for me. I spent a lot of time waiting for myself to feel ready to quit, but the reality is it's kind of a leap of faith, so to speak. I had reasoned with myself that I needed to quit long before I actually did, but in the end I just had to make the decision to do it and stick with it. I had to work hard to make sure that I set myself up for success and planned ahead. I also had to reach out to other people for help.
As far as reading material, I'm not sure. In rehab I read pretty voraciously. I'm not much of a TV guy, and if you weren't watching TV or playing cards you were kind of screwed out of anything to do in rehab. All I read was stuff to keep my mind busy though, cheap novels that didn't tax my brain too much. Other than that I read the Bible and the AA big book -- which is a good read even if you end up not interested in AA.
Best of luck in your recovery! You can do it, but you gotta be smart about it and set yourself up for success. Sounds like you are starting to think the process through, which is really good. We'll be here to support you.
Best wishes--
I'm glad you are working on your sobriety early on in life. I am sober 4 months now and I'm 26. I'm so thankful that I got clean at a young age and saved myself a lot of pain and turmoil.
To answer your questions, meetings were extremely important for me. I was in rehab for 30 days (checked myself in) and after I got out I was in an AA meeting almost every day for the next month. A lot of people will do 90 meetings in 90 days, which may not be a bad idea. I eventually settled into going to two meetings a week, both Celebrate Recovery meetings, which is like AA but Christian.
As far as the tension question, it never goes away (IMO). That's the thing that was so hard for me. I spent a lot of time waiting for myself to feel ready to quit, but the reality is it's kind of a leap of faith, so to speak. I had reasoned with myself that I needed to quit long before I actually did, but in the end I just had to make the decision to do it and stick with it. I had to work hard to make sure that I set myself up for success and planned ahead. I also had to reach out to other people for help.
As far as reading material, I'm not sure. In rehab I read pretty voraciously. I'm not much of a TV guy, and if you weren't watching TV or playing cards you were kind of screwed out of anything to do in rehab. All I read was stuff to keep my mind busy though, cheap novels that didn't tax my brain too much. Other than that I read the Bible and the AA big book -- which is a good read even if you end up not interested in AA.
Best of luck in your recovery! You can do it, but you gotta be smart about it and set yourself up for success. Sounds like you are starting to think the process through, which is really good. We'll be here to support you.
Best wishes--
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Welcome back!
As far as the tension thing goes for me thats something I have struggled a lot with and just had to finally make a choice to not continue to buy alcohol and get sober. Im only on day 9 and it hasnt been easy but I try to just take it day by day and am finally not feeling so sick anymore.
As far as the tension thing goes for me thats something I have struggled a lot with and just had to finally make a choice to not continue to buy alcohol and get sober. Im only on day 9 and it hasnt been easy but I try to just take it day by day and am finally not feeling so sick anymore.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
i had proven to myself many times that i could not drink like other people. So when i quit, when i was really ready, that part of me that still wanted to drink had to be shut down.
Meetings are essential to me. I am in AA. It has saved my life in many more ways than i could go into right now, and did much more for me than help me get sober. But, not everyone uses AA. Check out some meetings. They won't hurt you. May even help. Heck, you may even like them. I love my Fellowship. Can't imagine life without it.
Meetings are essential to me. I am in AA. It has saved my life in many more ways than i could go into right now, and did much more for me than help me get sober. But, not everyone uses AA. Check out some meetings. They won't hurt you. May even help. Heck, you may even like them. I love my Fellowship. Can't imagine life without it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Welcome back
I think that vacillation - between wanting to quit and yet not wanting to change our lives - is pretty common.
Support was what helped me break that deadlock - so, to me, support (in whatever forum you decide you want it) is pretty vital.
D
I think that vacillation - between wanting to quit and yet not wanting to change our lives - is pretty common.
Support was what helped me break that deadlock - so, to me, support (in whatever forum you decide you want it) is pretty vital.
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome back EH - I would imagine anyone who's ever been addicted to something has that same tension. Our rational side knows what we should do, but the addiction is running the show. It took getting sober for me to actually want to be sober, if that makes any sense.....
I guess I finally realized that if I didn't stop, I'd be reliving the same day over and over again. This wasn't something that was going to just go away some day and I'd already tried a hundred ways to control it, with no luck.
The obsession/urge took quite a while to go away. I thought about it constantly at first but after a couple months the urges weren't as strong and a few hours would go by without any thoughts of alcohol. By the time I was a year into sobriety, there were hardly any thoughts about it at all.
Like Dee said, the main thing is support (from others who've been there).
I guess I finally realized that if I didn't stop, I'd be reliving the same day over and over again. This wasn't something that was going to just go away some day and I'd already tried a hundred ways to control it, with no luck.
The obsession/urge took quite a while to go away. I thought about it constantly at first but after a couple months the urges weren't as strong and a few hours would go by without any thoughts of alcohol. By the time I was a year into sobriety, there were hardly any thoughts about it at all.
Like Dee said, the main thing is support (from others who've been there).
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