SSIL75

I recently had routine outpatient surgery that went wrong and wound up in the hospital for a week. Between that week and my recovery at home I basically had 2 weeks of morphine/oxycodone. Opiates were not my DOC but I liked them and even this time, I liked them. I took as prescribed and they are done now.

I obviously know that taking drugs as prescribed does not constitute a relapse but I don't know. I guess I'm upset by what a buzz I got out of them and that addict thinking kicked back in as if I hadn't missed a day.

bleugh.

sugarbear1

If you are totally off them, used as prescribed, then you are ok in my book. Not a slip. Of course the buzz happened yet it's over. Only you can decide.

Get back on the sobriety bicycle and work on you. Today you are more alert to what happened. Don't pick up & don't beat yourself up! You're not abusing nor sucked back in.

lovingit

I was to understand that taking painkillers without pain would be considered drug abuse. If you had legitimate pain, the drug is meant to find it, and cancel it out.

One year sober is something to really hold higher than anything.

lovingit

I'd also like to add that you may be a little down on yourself because you stopped taking them. A mini detox of sorts. That crap is powerful, and needs some time to get out of your system.

SSIL75

you know this is absolutely true. Even before I stopped taking them I warned myself that I'd feel this way. I thought of 3 things I was looking forward to. Now that I'm off them (day... 3?) I think of those things and they don't seem as exciting as they did before. So I know I'm not thinking logically.

I can't believe I did this to myself for so long. It really ruins the mind! Thanks for the reminder!

Good news is that I have no alcohol cravings at all.

lovingit

Enjoy your Birthday on Tuesday

recoverywfaith

Thank goodness you only took them for a short amount of time and are off of them now and that you aware of how powerful they are. And, as the previous poster stated you had a legitimate reason for taking them. All my prayers that you find balance and peace thru this. I am very proud of your accomplishment of your sobriety...thank you for sharing.

Anna

I hope you're feeling better, and I see no reason to not take prescribed painkillers after surgery.

Happier

Congrats on the upcoming year! I agree with the other comments here that meds needed and taken as prescribed are no reason to think less of your great accomplishment. Especially true if this wasn't your DOC. I appreciate your healthy dose of caution though. We need to always keep these things in check
.
Congrats again. In my opinion you should be very proud of yourself.

flutter

I had my gallbladder out in March.. and went through the same mental struggle about the pain meds prescribed after. I felt a very unhealthy twinge of happiness when I saw the script was for 40!! Vicodin and that scared the crap out of me. I took them as prescribed, I admittedly liked the way they made me feel, and went about my life. I totally understand.

SSIL75

yes that's exactly where I was (the surgery and the reaction). I got 40 oxy (straight oxy, no tylenol) after the routine surgery and then another 40 after I was discharged from the hospital (admitted 36 hours after the routine procedure for a bile leak).

It's the addict thinking that upsets me. I feel like I was starting to watch the clock instead of my pain for the dosage towards the end, you know? although I did not do that in the hospital at the start on a morphine patient controlled pump. I used that as sparingly as I could and got off it as quickly as I could.

It's like the longer I took them the more dysfunctional my thinking became.

ReadyAndAble

I hope you don't let that mar your sober b-day. Feeling the pull of those meds is addict thinking; being honest with yourself about what you feel seems like the thinking of someone committed to their recovery. Congrats on your year!

wheresthefun

SSIL75, I wouldn't be the least bit worried, nor upset (as long as you stopped when you no longer needed them). I'm not stopping life just because I'm an alkie. I still take any med I feel I need. And, I know this will really get to many here, but I even cook with wine, and yes I know all the alcohol does NOT burn off, but I do not crave a drink after eating the food I've made.

SweetCityWoman

SSIL - This shouldn't mar your big day this week. Actually I see it as a great reminder of what lurks inside of everyone in recovery. It seems substance use/abuse changes something in our brains as well as our bodies making it all but impossible to ever moderate. We can kick it successfully but it goes dormant - ready to be activated in the same pattern that existed before.

stanleyhouse

I think people who are committed to recovery take surgery and pain medications very seriously. You are being hypervigilant in assessing your motives, reactions and cravings to the medications. I wouldn't let this experience mar your anniversary, I would be secure that you handled the situation with caution. Don't be afraid to follow up with other SR members on the subject.
Congratulations on your anniversary.
SH

SSIL75

Thank you all. Your support really means a lot.

eJoshua

I think you are wise to be concerned and circumspect in your taking of these meds, but I don't think you ought to feel bad about it one bit if you followed the doctor's prescription.

Congrats on your upcoming year!

CarolD

Sending you prayers for peace and an early

Dee74

Hi SSIL75

I'm with everyone who says you took them as directed, you're off them now, and you had it reinforced that we should never get too complacent....

I think you're doing great

D