So I messed up...2days sober now
liability/access/toxic
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: NNJ/NYC
Posts: 61
So I messed up...2days sober now
I was 56 days clean and was just feeling so lonely and hurt the other night. I got a half gram of meth and slammed 2x that night....it was horrible...I did it alone and felt even lonelier. Loneliness is a trigger for me.... I am now on day 2 sober
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,492
Welcome back!
I'm glad you're here.
So, now you know for sure that loneliness is a trigger for you, then you can try to deal with that issue. I had to spend some time getting used to the idea of being alone with myself when I stopped drinking. I always drank alone, so the only choice I had was to start to enjoy spending time with myself. At the same time, why not take up a hobby, sport or some activitiy that will have you getting out more and meeting people?
I'm glad you're here.
So, now you know for sure that loneliness is a trigger for you, then you can try to deal with that issue. I had to spend some time getting used to the idea of being alone with myself when I stopped drinking. I always drank alone, so the only choice I had was to start to enjoy spending time with myself. At the same time, why not take up a hobby, sport or some activitiy that will have you getting out more and meeting people?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
As a recovering addict whose DOC was meth, and I also slammed, I can totally relate to the feelings of horror and loneliness after slamming. The last time I did, I went straight to raw screaming emotional pain. That was my bottom.
Take good care of yourself. Sending you hugs of support!
Take good care of yourself. Sending you hugs of support!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
It's so tempting to return to our old ways of coping - I'm sorry things were overwhelming for you.
I remember having a hard time right before 30 and 60 days........ I had heard those were tricky times, but never really believed it until I experienced it.
Forgive yourself and keep going forward (one day at a time!)
I remember having a hard time right before 30 and 60 days........ I had heard those were tricky times, but never really believed it until I experienced it.
Forgive yourself and keep going forward (one day at a time!)
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I'm glad you're back SweetB 
at least you've had it reinforced there are no answers there.
My story's a lot like Anna's - I was always lonely - it was a source of emotional pain for me.
A big part of my recovery was learning to be comfortable in my my own company...and trying my best not to isolate...to make real connections in the world
D
at least you've had it reinforced there are no answers there.
My story's a lot like Anna's - I was always lonely - it was a source of emotional pain for me.
A big part of my recovery was learning to be comfortable in my my own company...and trying my best not to isolate...to make real connections in the world
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,555
No comfort to be found in using - so no point in going back there SweetB. Very glad you told us about it & that you are moving forward instead of going back into the black hole. You can do this, and maybe now you'll have even more resolve.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,555
No comfort to be found in using - so no point in going back there SweetB. Very glad you told us about it & you're moving forward instead of going back into the black hole. You can do this, and maybe now you'll have even more resolve.
Um, not sure why I can't delete one of these.....
Um, not sure why I can't delete one of these.....
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