Sharing how i feel
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 101
Sharing how i feel
Guys,
im new to this, and kinda hoping it will help.
its not me its my partner.
how do you know if youre an alcoholic or not?
He drinks 4 nights a week.
he lies about how much he drinks.
he hides alcohol
he is a total different person when drunk
he drinks in the morning
i feel i cant leave him for more than 5 mins - for fear of him being drunk
hes nearly lost his career and his children due to drink, but, yet, he still does this.
Its lsowly dirving me crazy, i keep telling myself that he isnt an alcoholic- just maybe a little dependant - what do you think?
im new to this, and kinda hoping it will help.
its not me its my partner.
how do you know if youre an alcoholic or not?
He drinks 4 nights a week.
he lies about how much he drinks.
he hides alcohol
he is a total different person when drunk
he drinks in the morning
i feel i cant leave him for more than 5 mins - for fear of him being drunk
hes nearly lost his career and his children due to drink, but, yet, he still does this.
Its lsowly dirving me crazy, i keep telling myself that he isnt an alcoholic- just maybe a little dependant - what do you think?
Last edited by scacra1; 08-20-2011 at 07:07 AM. Reason: spelling mistake
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
You had replied to a very old thread so I moved you out to another
Forum and started you a fresh thread so more members could see you and reply with their expereinces.
Welcome to SR...
Forum and started you a fresh thread so more members could see you and reply with their expereinces.
Welcome to SR...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Irish
Posts: 552
Check out this Questionaire,It will give you an Idea if hes got a real problem.
Its really the Problem Drinker that should answer these Questions.
Only then............answering with totally honesty can a person admit that They are Alcoholic.
Am I an Alcoholic? – questionnaire. « Alcohol Self-Help News
Its really the Problem Drinker that should answer these Questions.
Only then............answering with totally honesty can a person admit that They are Alcoholic.
Am I an Alcoholic? – questionnaire. « Alcohol Self-Help News
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
The fact is his drinking is affecting you, dear!
Please, educate yourself on alcoholism. Read through the 'sticky' topics at the top of this forum.
Get your hands on the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. It was a real eye-opener for me!
Check into local Alanon meetings for face-to-face support among those who understand.
There are 3 C's we use around here:
You didn't cause his alcoholism
You can't control his alcoholism
You can't cure his alcoholism
I am so glad you found us here at SR, and know that you are among friends, okay?
Please, educate yourself on alcoholism. Read through the 'sticky' topics at the top of this forum.
Get your hands on the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. It was a real eye-opener for me!
Check into local Alanon meetings for face-to-face support among those who understand.
There are 3 C's we use around here:
You didn't cause his alcoholism
You can't control his alcoholism
You can't cure his alcoholism
I am so glad you found us here at SR, and know that you are among friends, okay?
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Hi and Welcome to the Family!
If you are having trouble accepting his drinking, then drinking is a problem. Why worry over labels, when you already know that his drinking is affecting you and your relationship?
Please make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed.
Here is a link that helped me when I was dealing with my partner's active drinking:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
If you are having trouble accepting his drinking, then drinking is a problem. Why worry over labels, when you already know that his drinking is affecting you and your relationship?
Please make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed.
Here is a link that helped me when I was dealing with my partner's active drinking:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: TX
Posts: 50
Welcome, I too have felt like I couldn't leave my partner because he would drink if I wasn't by his side 24/7. I am still trying to break that cycle. It isn't easy for me, but I now know what I was doing was never going to work anyways.
Everyone before me had a lot of great advice. Please consider it all as worthwhile.
Everyone before me had a lot of great advice. Please consider it all as worthwhile.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 101
hey.. thanks everyone, i know youre right, his alcohol IS causing me an issue, so yes the label doesnt matter, its obviously a problem. you made me see that now.
we spoke about it last week, its always kinda been a joke between us about his 'alcohol dependance' but last week he was honest and said he knows he has an issue. Which i think is a great step - the actual admittance of this.
we agreed, each week he will do 1 thing to improve this problem.
last week he tried to stop drinking during the week. whcih he did.
This week he agreed to drink 1 bottle less of wine on the friday night. which he did.
at the moment i cant ask for more. i dont expect these things are resolved quickly. all i can do is support.
i intned to read all the articles you guys mentioned, thak you so much.
what worries me is when he is sober he is soo the best guy in ever, but i know..... this other side can be so damaging.
im not afraid to walk away - but only when i feel he wont help himself.
the courage people have to deal with this kinda thing is second to none - big respect to those who are doing that... wow!
we spoke about it last week, its always kinda been a joke between us about his 'alcohol dependance' but last week he was honest and said he knows he has an issue. Which i think is a great step - the actual admittance of this.
we agreed, each week he will do 1 thing to improve this problem.
last week he tried to stop drinking during the week. whcih he did.
This week he agreed to drink 1 bottle less of wine on the friday night. which he did.
at the moment i cant ask for more. i dont expect these things are resolved quickly. all i can do is support.
i intned to read all the articles you guys mentioned, thak you so much.
what worries me is when he is sober he is soo the best guy in ever, but i know..... this other side can be so damaging.
im not afraid to walk away - but only when i feel he wont help himself.
the courage people have to deal with this kinda thing is second to none - big respect to those who are doing that... wow!
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