husband wanting to leave to be with another girl
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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husband wanting to leave to be with another girl
My husband has 1 1/2 of sobrierty and has stopped going to meetings for a month then spent a month in a mental hospital. He came home and had been talking to a girl who was there who lives 45 mins from our house. He descided that I don't fix mein 3 weeksor after that he is going to descide if he loves me any more or if he wants to be done and be with her instead. We have 2 kids and have been together for 6 years. He says he has no drive for aa anymore and I think he has dry drunk syndrome. He says he going to call the girl and tell her that he is going to see if I can fix myself or if he loves me after which he says he prob won't so for her to wait for him. I'm. Shocked confused and crushed
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,175
I would question any plans or ultimatums coming from him out of a psych ward visit.
I would also question his sobriety.
Dry drunk or mentally unstable?
Either way, he is being emotionally abusive to you, and is not exhibiting "right thinking"
I know it is hard, but do your best not to take things personally until the smoke settles, etc... Was he medicated in the hospital visit?
Is there a diagnosis?
Surely you are heartbroken, but there is an inherent red flag when someone comes from the psych ward pointing fingers at you, giving ultimatums about you "fixing" yourself...
And this woman must not be on very level ground either.
Get thee to alanon or a counselor.
You may need to step away from him before he does any more damage to your family. And your self esteem, mental state.
God Bless
I would also question his sobriety.
Dry drunk or mentally unstable?
Either way, he is being emotionally abusive to you, and is not exhibiting "right thinking"
I know it is hard, but do your best not to take things personally until the smoke settles, etc... Was he medicated in the hospital visit?
Is there a diagnosis?
Surely you are heartbroken, but there is an inherent red flag when someone comes from the psych ward pointing fingers at you, giving ultimatums about you "fixing" yourself...
And this woman must not be on very level ground either.
Get thee to alanon or a counselor.
You may need to step away from him before he does any more damage to your family. And your self esteem, mental state.
God Bless
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
To me, he doesn't sound like he is wrapped too tightly.
For now you might want to step out of the picture, so he can make his big decision, which of you will be the lucky one that he will choose.
I know that you are hurt, however, you have two children to protect, they must be your priorty.
Please consider going to meetings, and, look to your family for guidance and support.
For now you might want to step out of the picture, so he can make his big decision, which of you will be the lucky one that he will choose.
I know that you are hurt, however, you have two children to protect, they must be your priorty.
Please consider going to meetings, and, look to your family for guidance and support.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Have you considered contacting his mental health provider? I assume if he didn't have one before going to the hospital for a month that they would have made arrangements for continuing care after his release. If nothing else, this would give his psychiatrist a heads up as to what is going on. Your husband definitely does not sound well, and for sure does not sound like he's working a program of recovery.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: RI
Posts: 177
Originally Posted by luvm 
My husband has 1 1/2 of sobrierty and has stopped going to meetings for a month then spent a month in a mental hospital. He came home and had been talking to a girl who was there who lives 45 mins from our house. He descided that I don't fix mein 3 weeksor after that he is going to descide if he loves me any more or if he wants to be done and be with her instead. We have 2 kids and have been together for 6 years. He says he has no drive for aa anymore and I think he has dry drunk syndrome. He says he going to call the girl and tell her that he is going to see if I can fix myself or if he loves me after which he says he prob won't so for her to wait for him. I'm. Shocked confused and crushed
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
Well anyone who says you have to fix yourself before he can love you is a person has severe problems knowing how to love other people. True love is always unconditional.
What you are dealing with is someone who probably has not learned how to love. We have to learn how to love. You are also dealing with someone who has major problems: being in a mental health hospital and having alcoholism means you and the kids will come second, third and fourth on the list of his priorities.
To be utterly frank, I would take a break from this guy and totally concentrate on your children. They need your love and waiting for your partner to get his mental, addictive and girlfriend issues in order could take years: your kids will grow up and move out in that many years.
What you are dealing with is someone who probably has not learned how to love. We have to learn how to love. You are also dealing with someone who has major problems: being in a mental health hospital and having alcoholism means you and the kids will come second, third and fourth on the list of his priorities.
To be utterly frank, I would take a break from this guy and totally concentrate on your children. They need your love and waiting for your partner to get his mental, addictive and girlfriend issues in order could take years: your kids will grow up and move out in that many years.
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